The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 08.26.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 08.26.23

Taped from Duluth, GA. There’s an immediate disconnect here from the usual feel of Collision because it’s taped in the same arena as Dynamite and just redressed, and it just feels…off.

Your hosts are Kevin Kelly & Caprice Coleman. That’s a weird combo.

Jack Perry joins us to start for the FTW title retirement ceremony. We share the good times as Jack gives us a photo montage of chilling with his belt, but he goes to smash the title with a hammer and Hook attacks and suplexes him through the table to set up the FTW title match for All In that was already announced. They definitely don’t need to be beating Perry at this point so I’m sure that’ll end up with a screwy finish to beat Hook again.

Meanwhile, we take a look back at Better Than You Bay Bay.

Orange Cassidy, Penta & Eddie Kingston v. The Butcher, The Blade & Kip Sabian

The glove toss triggers a big brawl to start, and Penta dumps Blade onto Butcher in the corner. Over to Orange, but Sabian superkicks him out of the ring and then Butcher and Blade double-team Cassidy for two. Orange and Kip trade suplex attempts, but Blade takes Orange down with a neckbreaker to take over again. Orange gets worked over in the corner as they go after the back and Blade goes to the chinlock. Snap suplex gets two. Blade with a bearhug and the heels cut off a comeback attempt as Kip hits a double stomp on Orange for two. Hot tag to Penta and he runs wild for a bit with a destroyer on Sabian. Over to Eddie and he trades shots with the Butcher and puts him down with enzuigiri. Orange with the Orange Punch on the heels, into Made in Japan from Penta and a lariat to finish Sabian at 10:00. Just kind of a flat tag team match. **.

Back from the break and the Best Friends join us in the ring now, as Trent is REALLY MAD about his mom’s van getting wrecked and they’re coming for revenge. But then the BCC interrupts and Ortiz is RIPPED. Good for him. So they do a normal promo and then Eddie storms off and comes to find them, but they’re gone.

Meanwhile, FTR and the Bucks discuss the origins of the FTR name to set up their tag title match.

The Dark Order v. Darius Martin & Action Andretti

Andretti takes Silver down with a crucifix for two, but Reynolds comes in and elbows him down for two. Interestingly, they’re now just being referred to as Top Flight, which I hope isn’t a bad sign for Dante’s recovery. Silver comes in and powerbombs Action onto Reynolds’ knees for two an puts him down with kicks, and they follow with a double basement dropkick for two. Silver beats Action down and drops an elbow for two. FITE takes a break as Action tries for the tag. Back with Darius getting the hot tag, and Action comes in with a 450 on Alex for two. But then the Dark Order cuts them off and their wacky double-team sequence finishes at 8:41. Complete yawner of a Dark Elevation main event. *1/2.

Meanwhile, AR Fox makes amends with Nick Wayne, but only Darby forgives him for now.

Meanwhile, the Acclaimed present their new rap music video.

Meanwhile, we hear from the ladies in the Women’s title match.

Big Bill v. Vary Morales

Oh man the arena is literally emptying out before our eyes. Morales attacks and Bill quickly destroys him and chokeslams him at 1:33.

Meanwhile, Ruby Soho challenges Kris Statlander to a TBS title match at All Out. So we’ve spent weeks doing this thing with Mercedes and Diamante on Collision and then it’s just Ruby who gets the PPV match out of nowhere?

Willow Nightingale v. Robyn Renegade

Kudos to Caprice for freestyling to Willow’s music. Robyn grabs a headlock and Willow tosses her into the corner to escape and then puts her down with an elbow and a splash for two. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The Renegades regroup on the floor and Robyn gets a cheapshot to take over. Snapmare gets two. Back elbow gets two. Robyn with a chinlock for a while, but Willow makes the comeback before missing a cannonball in the corner. Robyn goes up with a missile dropkick for two and Willow bumps to the floor, where she suplexes both sisters and then finishes Robyn with the Bae Bomb at 8:33. Just an extended squash for Willow, but it was fine. **

Meanwhile, Miro v. Hobbs are ready for a hoss fight at All Out.

Meanwhile, Kris Statlander is sick of the Outcasts and she accepts Ruby’s challenge.

Keith Lee v. Zicky Dice

Zicky Dice was pretty fun in Corgan’s NWA when it didn’t suck. Zicky slaps Keith around and Keith pounces him and powerbombs him at 1:33.

Meanwhile, in an outtake from Lucha Underground, Preston Vance and Dralistico fight off Mexican thugs.

All Star 8 Man: Hook, Sting, Darby Allin & CM Punk v. Jay White, Swerve Strickland, Luchasaurus & Brian Cage

I’m assuming this show was taped way out of order because the arena is much fuller and brighter here than it was for the Keith Lee match. So this is somewhat weird because the build for this match had Hook’s spot as a “mystery partner” since being announced on Dynamite, and then he just comes out for the match with no one even acknowledging that there was a mystery partner. So I’m assuming that his return in the opening segment was supposed to take place on Dynamite and be a surprise, but then when that segment got bumped to Collision they had to act like Hook wasn’t there. Seems like a lot of hoops for not much payoff, especially since they already announced the Hook-Perry match for All In before this show even aired. Punk and his usual mixed reaction trades some takedowns with Swerve to start, and Jay White wants Sting, so Punk turns around to oblige and White attacks him in a funny spot. Hook comes in and throws hands on White in the corner, and Darby works on the arm. Luchasaurus comes in to beat on Darby, but Sting and Darby double-team him with splashes in the corner. Christian trips up Punk, however, and the heels take over. Cage pounds on Punk in the corner and FITE takes a break. Back with Swerve holding a chinlock on the mat, but Punk fights out of that and makes the hot tag to Hook. He slugs away on Swerve in the corner, but goes after White and gets laid out on the floor as a result. Back in the ring, Cage chokes Hook out in the corner and drops a leg for two. White and Luchasaurus take turns beating on Hook with chops and Cage adds a short clothesline. Hook comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Punk, who trolls the fans and runs wild. Punk clears the ring and goes up with the flying elbow on White, but Swerve puts him down and everyone runs in for the big moves. Cage puts Darby down with an F5, but walks into the GTS from Punk, who then chokes Cage out to finish at 21:12. Just kind of a normal tag match. ***. This brings Joe away from the commentary position and he attacks Punk, along with Jack Perry attacking Hook, and everyone brawls to end the show.

Well Dynamite was definitely the hard sell for All In. This was just kind of a nothing show with the usual long main event and absolutely nothing of note leading up to it.