The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.08.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.08.86

Finally got to see Mission Impossible tonight in exchange for going to Barbie with the women in my household a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderfully ridiculous in every way and exactly what I wanted out of it. Plus the train sequence nearly gave me heart failure and I was having flashbacks to playing Uncharted. Highly recommended.

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

Dirty Rhodes v. Benny Trailer

Oh yeah, the referee here is a young man starting out in the business as mentioned last week. Apparently he’s the young son of Jerry Jarrett. Dirty quickly slams and elbows Benny for the pin at 1:00.

Meanwhile, Lance Russell is pumped about what we’re going to see later in the show that he won’t even reveal the main event in Evansville because it will spoil the surprise of what we’re going to see later in the show. INTRIGUING! But we do get some words from JD Costello and the Mod Squad, who are already getting a title shot at the Fantastics this week. Oh and whatever you do, stay tuned to the show you’re watching right now!

Meanwhile, Eddie Marlin sits down with Dutch Mantel and wants to know what’s up with him and Bill Dundee? Dutch tells the story about how Bill would hang out with him and they’d listen to country music and chew tobacco together. But Bill was a chameleon who would latch onto people and assume their characteristics. So after months of hanging out together, Bill met Buddy Landel and suddenly Bill wanted to go to nice places with fancy chandeliers like Buddy frequented, and then suddenly they were calling him a dirty redneck who was beneath them. Which is fine, but you’ve gotta be able to back up your shit talking if you’re going to talk about him. So then Eddie’s like “Hey, I like chewing tobacco and listening to country music, can I be your friend?” Uh oh, we’ve got a stage 5 clinger. Anyway this was a FANTASTIC babyface promo from Dutch that laid out the whole deal perfectly. I’m not even a big fan of Dutch but I heard this one and I was like “Damn, I hope he gets some revenge on them now!”

Dutch Mantel v. Jerry Garmin

Dutch works a wristlock and takes Garmin down before putting him down with a back elbow for two. Dutch with the headlock on the mat and a powerslam for the pin at 2:08. I always found it funny how Lance and Dave call him “The Dutchman”, even though I don’t think he’s got any kind of Holland heritage.

Meanwhile, Lance promises that holy crap, just wait until you see what happens at the end of the show. OK I’M WATCHING IT YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP SELLING ME ON IT!

Bill Dundee & Buddy Landel v. David Johnson & Jim Jamison

Dundee has been Southern champion for 3 months at this point, which is like Roman Reigns territory by Memphis standards. Once again, the skinny young referee, whose name I can’t remember how to spell, is officiating. Dundee beats on Johnson and slaps him around in the corner, and they take turns dropping elbows on him. Over to Jamison, but Buddy beats on him with chops and Dundee chokes him out and tosses him to the front row. There’s a whole row of girls in white shirts out there this week for some reason. Johnson helps his partner back into the ring, so Dundee goes over and knocks him a good one off the apron as well. And Buddy drops the corkscrew elbow on Jamison and pins him at 3:33. The row of white shirt girls is MOLTEN with heel heat for Bill & Buddy. The ref tries to get them to knock off the beating, so Buddy attacks him too and lays a beating on him, which brings Jerry Jarrett in to make the save and protect his son. But then the heels murder him too and go for the bad eye, at which point referee Jeff Jarrett goes CRAZY and takes on both heels by himself, making his first ever fired up babyface comeback on TV, while the crowd goes insane for him. But they overwhelm him again, and finally Dutch comes running out, looking like he just got out of the shower, and makes the save as they carry the lifeless body of Jeff back to the dressing room. Lance Russell is OUTRAGED at the abuse of a high school kid and he does this amazing promo on the heels and he’s so mad that he storms off the set and Dave Brown has to send it to a commercial to calm everyone down.

THIS WAS AMAZING. Holy crap what an angle. The teenage girls in the front row shrieking in horror was the chef’s kiss touch on top of it. After the break, Lance clarifies that they’re a high school cheerleading squad who won a national championship and got VIP tickets to this show as a result.

The Fantastics come out for their squash, but Jerry Jarrett interrupts and he’s in tears about what happened to his son, and Lance gently leads him away again so he can compose himself. So they start the match, but then Dave Brown stops it again and now Eddie Marlin does a promo, and he’s only got one person he trusts to go in there with Dutch Mantel and take care of Bill Dundee, and it’s JERRY LAWLER. And he doesn’t care if Dundee sues him or whatever, but he’s gonna go make the phone call.

The Fantastics v. Keith Eric & Tony Falk

So they finally start the match and the Fantastics hit a double dropkick on Eric and Lance is still pissed right off about what happened to his friend Jerry Jarrett and his teenage son and normally Lance doesn’t take sides but he basically calls Bill & Buddy a couple of pieces of garbage. Falk comes in and beats Fulton down in the corner, but they trap Falk in the corner again and double-team him. Rogers with a backdrop and he works the arm and the screaming girls just do not tire. I wonder if the Fantastics gave out business cards with their hotel room number in between tags? Another double-team and Rogers pins Falk at 4:45 and the Fantastics are more than happy to soak up the attention from the cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, Lance can finally reveal the big main event for Evansville that was secret before: BILL DUNDEE & BUDDY LANDEL v. DUTCH MANTEL & JERRY LAWLER! So Dundee goes on an insane rant about how he lost to Lawler in the 70s and had to leave for a year, and he spent the time in stinking disgusting Louisiana and hated every minute, and now he gets rid of Lawler and has to stand by and watch while they just bring Lawler back because of POLITICS. TREMENDOUS. This is like one of the greatest hours of wrestling I’ve ever seen.

Dutch Mantel joins Lance and he’s been a bad person but never tried to take out someone’s bad eye before, and he just hopes that Eddie Marlin can get Jerry Lawler back because he’s the one guy who can help take out Dundee and Landel. So Eddie stops by and he’s got Lawler on the phone like he promised, so they gather around this old rotary phone on a wooden crate. That’s pretty high tech for Memphis. And indeed, we get a phone interview with Lawler, who reminds us how much he hates Dundee already, but assaulting his good friend Jerry Jarrett makes him hate Dundee even more. And Dundee might sue him, but Jarrett has enough money to keep him tied up in court with countersuits, and so he’s coming back to Memphis and he’s going to team with Dutch Mantel and teach them a lesson.

The Mod Squad v. Thunderbolt Hamilton & David Haskins

OK we’ve had a month of buildup, let’s see if they can deliver. Well I mean it’s just the Jeffers brothers , we already know the answer. Hamilton puts them both down with dropkicks to start, even though Costello claimed earlier that they were both too big to dropkick. A wrestler who LIES? Haskins comes in and works a headlock on Basher, but Spike gets a knee from the apron and they choke Haskins on the ropes. Spike with a backbreaker and they finish Haskins with the Road Warrior bearhug clothesline at 3:00.

And Dave & Lance wrap things up as I really want to see that Mid-South main event coming up on Monday night.

Well, you know I had to do a quick check of YouTube, and SURE ENOUGH…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf7_l_C2cxQ&ab_channel=robbhelt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYRzKSydQU0&t=357s

Jerry Lawler & Dutch Mantel v. Bill Dundee & Buddy Landel (03.10.86, Mid-South Coliseum)

As expected, it’s a giant brawl to start and they’re literally throwing chairs at each other as Bill & Budro run away to the safety of the floor while everyone calms down. Buddy finally gets into the ring, but immediately swings at Lawler and hits Dundee by mistake, and the heels regroup on the floor again. Back in the ring, Dutch comes in and beats on Buddy in the corner and Lawler adds a shot from the apron. Over to Lawler and he teases the piledriver, but the ref talks him out of it and Lawler slugs Buddy down instead. Finally Buddy gets some offense on Lawler and slams him, but Dundee comes in with a bombs away and lands on his ass by mistake. So Lawler punches Dundee out of the ring and they brawl on the floor as he kicks Dundee’s ass all around ringside and busts him open. Back in the ring, Lawler pounds on the cut, so Dundee goes low and the heels take over on Lawler. They take turns putting the boots to Lawler, and then Dundee steals the announce desk and runs Dutch’s head into that and the stairs. Then he grabs a rope and chokes out Lawler in the corner for good measure. Dundee drops knees on him and rips at his face to draw blood on Lawler, and Dundee throws the great punches to work on the cut. So Bill grabs a chain, but he charges and hits Budro by mistake, and Dutch gets the hot tag as it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. Buddy is bleeding from the chain now and Lawler beats on him in the corner while Dundee brawls with Dutch into the crowd. Back in the ring, Lawler tosses Dundee and the babyfaces double-team Buddy and work on his cut. Lawler throws the punches on him and they’re just murdering Buddy in the corner and throwing Dundee out of the ring every time he tries to save, and finally the ref stops the match because Landel can’t continue at 12:32. So with the technicalities of the match done with, they proceed to go brawling on the floor and Lawler rams the bloody Buddy into the desk a bunch of times and send the heels packing. This was just a crazy Memphis brawl and exactly what people wanted to see. ***1/2.

A must see episode of the show, no doubt.