The SmarK Rant for Jerry Lawler: Wrestling Royalty

The SmarK Rant for Jerry Lawler: Wrestling Royalty

This was a videotape advertised on Memphis TV in 1986 a few times, which has thankfully been archived by someone on YouTube so I can review it. Direct to home video was of course rare in 1986 so this was a pretty cool idea for the time.

Hosted by Jerry Lawler, of course.

Jerry Lawler & Bill Dundee v. The Blond Bombers

A famous match to start us out, as we’re in Tupelo in 1979, and we pick things up with the team of Larry Latham (Moondog Spot) and Wayne Ferris (Honky Tonk Man) screwing Lawler & Dundee out of the Southern tag team titles, but everyone is so upset about it that they continue brawling to the back despite the show running out of TV time. So Lance Russell follows them into the backstage area and they fight right into the concession area and destroy the stand. It’s cut off pretty quickly, though.

Next up, Lawler shows a clip of Jos Leduc tossing him out of the ring and onto the ringside table, where he bounces off with a sick bump. Lawler doesn’t tell the story here but Eddie Marlin immediately told him to stay down because it looked too good. This leads into Lawler showing a highlight reel of his piledrivers over the years. Speaking of famous piledrivers…

Andy Kauffman comes into the Memphis territory and calls everyone in Memphis stupid, and notes that he’s from Hollywood and therefore smarter than Lawler and everyone else. Plus he’s wrestled women who are twice as large as himself! This leads us to the eventual match in April 82, with Lawler offering Andy a free shot, with his hands behind his back. So Andy grabs a headlock and Lawler just DROPS him with a suplex in an amazing bump for a celebrity at the time. And then he adds a piledriver for good measure and thus Kauffman wins by DQ as the crowd loses their mind. So it’s off to their appearance on David Letterman months later, with Andy in a neck brace, as he claims that he was just playing a role and Lawler took it too seriously and went too far. Andy sincerely apologizes to Lawler for all the things he said and asks for one from Lawler in turn. Because he COULD have sued Lawler for everything but chose not to because he’s a nice guy. So Letterman tries to throw to commercial, but Lawler gets up and slaps Kauffman out of his chair in a famous moment, and then we return from commercial with Andy going on a hilarious profanity-filled rant and threatening to sue everyone.

So that was basically the peak of the whole thing, but they kept bringing Kauffman back, and we pick things up a year later with Kauffman and new manager Jimmy Hart back in the territory, having sent Lawler to the hospital. But then Andy’s new friends the Assassins do a squash match and Jerry returns and tosses a fireball at Kauffman.

Fireball Montage! Next up, we get a compilation of Lawler throwing fire at people.

Southern title, no DQ: Jerry Lawler v. Terry Funk

From the Mid-South Coliseum in 81, as we get the entrances and then cut to later in the match, with Funk bumping all over for Lawler’s comeback. Funk tosses him over the top and they brawl to the floor, where Funk gets an atomic drop. Back in the ring, Funk slugs away in the corner, but Lawler fights back and Funk does an amazing sell of that and bumps over the top and right into the ringside area. So Lawler hauls him over and runs his head into the bell at ringside, busting him open. Back in the ring, Lawler slugs him down and drops the fist on him for two. But Funk headbutts him and then busts him open with a shot of his own before biting him in the corner. Lawler of course made sure to wear white gear for this match so that he could bleed all over it. Funk tosses him again and Jimmy Hart gets a cheapshot on the way back in, and Funk just beats on the cut. But then Lawler makes the comeback and pulls down the strap, going nuts on Funk, and Funk goes FLYING off Lawler’s punches. Lawler with the fistdrop, but Jimmy Hart runs in with a chair and Jerry beats on him as well. But Funk gets the chair and takes out Lawler’s knee until the ref saves him. So Funk goes after the knee, literally tearing the tights off his leg, and puts Lawler in the spinning toehold. Jerry punches out of that, so Jimmy sends another chair into the ring, but Lawler steals it and goes after Funk’s knee himself and I don’t have to tell you that Terry Funk selling that beating is THE BEST. Like he’s taking bumps that defy physics. Funk runs away to the floor but Lawler continues smashing him with the chair and Funk can’t beat the count back and Lawler wins it at 8:15. This was an amazing hidden gem if you’ve never seen it and is worth watching the show for that alone. ****1/2.

I was hoping they’d also include the empty arena followup, but not on this one I guess.

Next up, we get Jerry Lawler doing his own music video, for “Bad News”, which thankfully only lasts about 30 seconds of Lawler singing before they cut it off. And if THAT wasn’t enough, we get the video for Lawler fronting a rock band with “The World’s Greatest Wrestler”.

Loser Leaves Town: Eddie Gilbert v. Jerry Lawler

From 1985, as Gilbert defends the Southern title and puts his manager’s career on the line, with Jimmy Hart having to leave Memphis if Eddie loses. Lawler quickly hits a piledriver and Gilbert bails to the floor to escape, and we’re clipped to Lawler making a comeback as Gilbert bumps all over for him and Lawler gets a suplex for two. Finally Jimmy gives him a cane behind the ref’s back and Gilbert gets two from that. They brawl to the floor and Gilbert brings a table into the ring and hits Lawler with that, but we cut again to Lawler making the comeback before trying a piledriver and getting hit in the nuts. So Eddie goes up to the top, but Lawler brings him down with a superplex. He goes to the top himself, but Jimmy Hart trips him up and both guys are down and out. They collide and Gilbert falls on top for two, but Lawler rolls him over in a crucifix and pins him to win the title and send Jimmy Hart to the WWF. This was about 8 minutes of a 30 minute match but it was really good even from the amount shown.

Jerry Lawler & Austin Idol v. The Road Warriors

Another interesting match, this time from 1984. Joined with Idol trying to overpower Hawk and failing, so he brings Lawler in. Jerry has no better luck with Animal, and Animal hits him with a press slam. Hawk comes in and misses a legdrop, but they chase Lawler out of the ring and it’s back to Idol again. He suckers Hawk into a chase outside and catches him with an atomic drop on the floor. Back in, Animal misses a charge on Idol, but hits Lawler with a backbreaker and the Warriors take over. Hawk drops a fist on Lawler and they put him down with a double elbow in the corner and then double-team him behind the ref’s back. Lawler makes the comeback and slugs them both down and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as everyone brawls on the floor and everyone is disqualified. And that triggers an enormous brawl in the ring with the entire dressing room clearing out to pull them apart.

Hell of a tape for 1986, well worth your $29.98 on Mastercharge at the time. I had only seen the Tupelo brawl before so this was all new to me and there were no misses on this one.

Next time: Volume 2, The Early Years!