The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.19.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.19.23

Hey Scott-

Any chance you’re still going to review Supercard from this year?

I already did buy the show, but I’m thinking that the moment has passed and there wouldn’t be much point now. Plus frankly there’s not a lot of interest in ROH in general at the moment. And I’m not really wanting to watch the Dante thing.

Live from Pittsburgh, PA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz and Tony Schiavone

Jungle Boy joins us to start, but Sammy Guevara interrupts before he can do his promo, as does Darby Allin. Darby is dropping TRUTH BOMBS and notes that Jungle Jack got the job because his was part of the “California Clique”, so Jack lets everyone know how miserable and anti-social Darby is backstage, and accuses him of only becoming a wrestler because he couldn’t make it as a skateboarder. Sammy is tired of the other two getting onto the PPVs while he sits home. Finally this brings out MJF, who announces a Pillars Tournament to determine who faces him at Double or Nothing, so tonight’s main event is Sammy v. Jungle Boy, and then the winner faces Darby Allin for the title shot. Man MJF completely outclassed all 3 of them on the mic with ease.

Ruby Soho & Toni Storm v. Jamie Hayter & Dr. Britt Baker DMD

Britt of course gets a monster pop, and Saraya sprays Britt’s parents at ringside to be a troll. They brawl on the floor to start, and Hayter beats on both Outcasts by herself and hits them with a double clothesline in the corner. Saraya gets involved and Hayter beats on all of them outside regardless, but she gets double-teamed by the heels back in the ring. Britt tries a Panama Sunrise to save, but the Outcasts take her out and we take a break. Back with Britt getting the hot tag and running wild on Toni Storm with the sling blade, but Storm escapes the Lockjaw. Britt with an Air Raid Crash for two and Hayter gets a sliding lariat for two. Ruby cuts off Britt’s comeback and Saraya hits her with the belt from the floor, and Storm Zero gets two. The Outcasts take out Hayter on the floor and injure the arm, but Britt gets the Panama Sunrise on Ruby for two. Curb stomp gets two and she gets the Lockjaw to finish at 9:39. Bit messy but otherwise fine. **1/2. I really really really really hope they can drop this storyline now and move onto something else. But I’m not that lucky.

Meanwhile, Wardlow introduces his new mentor: Arn Anderson. AA notes that Tully Blanchard may have taught him to play checkers, but tonight they play chess. Arn has GOTTA be turning on him.

The Elite joins us and Matt’s arm is fully bionic now. So Kenny is right to the point: He wants to jam a screwdriver in Jon Moxley’s face, and then invites BCC to “squash the beef” in the next sentence. But then Bryan Danielson pops up on the screen and calls them amateurs, which allows the BCC to attack from behind. So they get into a huge brawl and the BCC destroys Matt’s arm further, and Bryan joins them and sermonizes about being professionals, until Don Callis comes out to save and then thinks better of it and brings out TAKESHITA instead to clean house and thankfully get that storyline going for real. Bringing Takeshita into the hottest feud in the promotion can only make him look like a bigger star.

TNT title: Powerhouse Hobbs v. Wardlow

Wardlow charges in and beats on Hobbs in the corner to start, but Hobbs puts him down with belly to belly suplexes and they fight to the floor. Wardlow clotheslines him into the crowd for the brawl out there as we take a break. Back with Wardlow hitting a swanton to make a comeback, but they slug it out and Hobbs beats on him with clotheslines until Wardlow fires back with german suplexes and clotheslines. QT and his dorks take the ref, which allows QT to run in with a cutter on Wardlow, and Hobbs gets the spinebuster for two. So QT freaks out and AA shoots him with his finger gun and hits a DDT on him. Hobbs rolls up Wardlow for two, but Wardlow fires back with a pair of powerbombs and a third one to win the title at 9:18. I’m not sold on this, I was really enjoying the QTV geeks in this role and it was getting Hobbs over doing the open challenge gimmick. Still a very decent hoss fight. ***. This brings out Christian and his dinosaur, who are apparently the next challengers.

Meanwhile, MJF interrupts Sammy’s backstage promo and offers him a blank cheque to take out Jungle Boy tonight, and Sammy writes down a really big number.

Komander v. “Letter Opener” Jay White

White puts the boots to him in the corner and gets a nasty chop, but Komander fires back with a spinkick and does some crazy springboarding into a dragon rana that puts Whtie on the floor. White interrupts the ropewalk, so Komander boots him down to the floor and tries a moonsault. That misses and White suplexes him onto the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, as we take a break. Back with White slugging away in the corner and he offers Komander a free shot and then chops him down again. Komander rolls him into a cradle for two, but White levels him with a clothesline to put him down again. Butterknife talks trash in New Zealandish and this annoys Komander enough to make the comeback with an enzuigiri in the corner, putting Jay on the floor again. He tries the ropewalk and Jay cuts him off, so Komander superkicks him back out and does it again, with a ropewalk into a giant moonsault to the floor. Back in the ring, Komander with a ropewalk into a shooting star press, which gets two. Phoenix splash gets two. White tries the Blade Runner and Komander climbs onto his back to block it, but White drops him with a suplex and finishes with the Blade Runner at 10:42. Shawn Spears at ringside only gives him a “5”, however. Not the worst Jay White match I’ve ever seen. ***1/2. The Bang Bang Gang tries for the beatdown on Spears in retaliation for his poor review of the match, but Ricky Starks makes the save.

Meanwhile, FTR and Sonjay Dutt’s crew argue over custody of Mark Briscoe, but they all agree to get along for the good of the family.

Face to Face: Chris Jericho v. Adam Cole

Adam Cole lets us know that he patterned his catchphrase and career after Jericho, but Jericho apparently has no respect for Cole at all. So Adam calls him an “insecure stupid idiot” and tells him to throw down if he wants to throw down. So they exchange more angry words and Jericho takes exception to being called a jag off and the fight is on. Jericho and Daniel Garcia attack Cole, but Dr. Britt makes the save and tells Jericho off, which allows the Outcasts to attack HER and continue that. Sadly, Adam has no other friends and the JAS handcuff him to the bottom rope, and then make him watch as the Outcasts beat on Britt with a kendo stick. Ooo, that’s PATHOS, baby! Like the crowd actually calls Jericho a piece of shit and boos him out of the building for that. That’s some good wrestling drama.

The Jericho Appreciation Society v. The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn

The JAS attacks to start, but the Acclaimed quickly hit Parker with Scissor Me Timbers and we take a break. So apparently if the JAS wins here, then the Acclaimed have to join the JAS until Double or Nothing, which kind of came out of nowhere. Back with Billy hitting the fameasser on Hager for two, and Bowens slugs away on Menard until Harper uses the LOADED COMB and Menard gets two. Daddy Ass steals that and breaks the comb, which breaks Parker’s spirit, and the Mic Drop finishes him at 6:49. Nothing much to this one. *1/2

Four Pillars Tournament: Sammy Guevara v. Jungle Boy Jack Perry

Perry quickly tosses Sammy and hits him with a dive, but Sammy fires back with his own, so Jack takes him off the apron with a rana. Back in the ring, Sammy hits a Spanish Fly off the top and both guys are down. They fight to the apron and trade flips out there, but Perry comes off the top and lands on Sammy’s knee strike, so Sammy gives him a Spanish Fly off the apron as we take a break. Back with Perry making a comeback with a lariat out of the corner and he takes Sammy to the floor with a powerbomb off the apron, and then back in with a crazy destroyer off the top rope for two. Jack goes up and Sammy crotches him to bring him down, but misses a shooting star press. He recovers with a cutter and an Implant DDT for two. Sammy with the GTH, but Perry lands on his feet and gets a poison rana. Sammy gets his own, but Jack hits a sliding elbow before going down. They slug it out and Jack gets the Snare Trap, but Sammy makes the ropes. They fight to the top and Sammy dropkicks Perry to the floor and into a table in a crazy bump, and MJF pops out of the crowd and knocks Perry out with the ring for the countout at 12:00. Yeah, definitely not a fan of that one. So next week it’s Darby v. Sammy for the title shot, which is weird because they were pushing the four-way match so hard and now they’ve just dropped the idea and I guess it’s gonna be Darby in a singles match instead? They were definitely letting it all hang out before the weak finish, although some of the powerbombs off the apron and flying destroyers for two counts got a bit silly after a while. ***1/2.

I thought this was a good, not great, show, although I really liked the heavy heat of the Cole-Jericho angle and I’m glad to see Takeshita getting a real part to play for once.