The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 03.16.90

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 03.16.90

Taped from Rockhill, SC. Were they struggling to come up with a name for the city and just started putting nouns together? There’s a city in Alberta called Carstairs and I often wonder if they used that same method. They should change it to RAW KILL, because that sounds more badass.

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Gordon Solie

The Royal Family v. The Italian Stallion & Joe Cruz

I’m not entirely certain what the distinction between the Royal Family and the New Zealand Militia was, unless they were involved in some kind of military coup and got overthrown and recruited into the army as a result? Is New Zealand a monarchy or do they just put a sheep in charge and worship that as their leader? I could take 5 seconds and check Wikipedia, but WHY? Cruz gets a rollup on Victory for two and manages to haul him back to the corner for some double-teaming with the Stallion. Stallion and Rip Morgan do a criss-cross and Stallion drops out to chase Lord Littlebrook while JR makes short jokes. Back in the ring, Stallion gets a powerslam and drops an elbow for two. Stallion gets taken out of the ring by Victory and beat up outside, and Morgan takes over in the ring with a corner clothesline. Why didn’t anyone ever push Joe Cruz? He looked Magnum TA’s younger brother and had a good look and a GREAT wrestling name. Easy to remember, easy to chant in various forms, sounds like an 80s cop show character. Stallion fights back on Morgan after a chinlock and then walks into a clothesline. JR notes that the Royal Family were a bunch of losers because of “lack of pre-match planning” but now Littlebrook is handling that for them. Yeah, but he’s only good at short-term planning. Moving on, as the Family continues taking turns chinlocking Stallion, but it’s hot tag Joe Cruz in a sentence you don’t type very often. And sure as shit, he runs wild on Victory for a bit, but runs into a boot in the corner and falls victim to a double elbow. Double suplex finishes at 8:48 as they win one for Queen! Well who doesn’t love Freddie Mercury? This was a pretty decent TV match. **1/4

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

Ole Anderson apparently suffered a herniated disc during WrestleWar 90 and he’s probably even more miserable than usual as a result. In fact Ole did another month of house shows against the Steiners and then that was the end of his career. Next up, Cornette takes us back to World Championship Wrestling, where the Midnight Express injures Brian Pillman. And Sting is getting thousands of cards and letters from well-wishers while he undergoes therapy. Also Lex Luger continues to be a choker who can’t get the job done against Ric Flair, but Gordon has faith in him. Also Tommy Young suffered a neck injury and he’s out for a while. Out forever as it turned out in a huge loss for the sport.

The Wild Samoans v. Mike Hart & Jerry Price

So this is the Fatu & Tama twin brother combination of the Samoans, as Samu was in and out of the promotion at this point. And they’re introduced as “The New Sons of Samoa” in a name change that didn’t take. Samoan Savage (Tama) starts out with Hart and takes him down a couple of times while Gordon notes that the Samoans trained from a young age by “climbing up and down the palm trees”. Of course they did. Double chop from the Samoans and Fatu slaps Hart around while we learn that they have now fired Oliver Humperdink as manager and they’re on their own. Price comes in and gets a bodypress on Fatu for two, and Fatu powers him off “like he’s a dozen eggs” according to Gordon. He was trying to find a comparison to something really light and he picked “a dozen eggs”? Fatu hits Price with a clothesline on the ropes and the guy is so bad that he can barely fall out of the ring, so the Samoans hit him with a Hart Attack instead and then Savage tosses him to the floor. Fatu superkicks him out there and throws Price into the front row and then hauls him back in for Savage to powerslam for two. They seem annoyed with this goober for some reason. Back to Hart and Fatu beats him down with headbutts and adds a suplex for two. Savage with a pump splash in the corner for two, but they pick up the jobber again. Another headbutt from Fatu and they pick him up again and then bring Price back in. Samoan drop from Fatu and Savage finishes with the flying splash at 8:28. Kind of cool that the Fatus were twin brothers, and then Fatu had twin sons. Triplets if you count Sami. This was a pretty dull squash.

Ole Anderson joins Jim Cornette in the ring, and they drag up the ancient history of Ole sacrificing Gene Anderson to win the World tag team titles a decade previously. Man I’d pay money to watch a reaction video where these two watch AEW together. Ole is convinced that they’re still going to regroup and take the tag team titles, which directly contradicts the advertising they’d been doing all show where they promised Ole would reveal his new tag team that he recruited to challenge the Steiners.

Ranger Ross & Tommy Rich v. Cactus Jack & Kevin Sullivan

Jim Ross notes that Ole didn’t actually deliver what was promised, but the mystery team is wrestling on the Main Event later in the week so we’ll know then. Well that’s good to know. Jack gets tossed by Ranger Ross to start and Kevin goes over and slaps the shit out of Jack to re-motivate him, and Jack is OK with that. Back in the ring, the babyfaces double-team Jack with headlocks, but Cactus puts Ross down with an elbow. Ross gets a bodypress for two and Rich comes back in with another headlock. I have to say, The Slaughterhouse is a badass name for a heel stable and someone needs to steal that pronto. Rich goes up with a double axehandle and Jack is all confused by the tag team shenanigans of the babyfaces, so Kevin Sullivan comes in to take care of things himself. Rich grabs a headlock on him and Ross switches in with his own, but Sullivan exits the ring to escape, with Ross hanging on the whole way. Back to the babyface corner and Rich comes in and maintains the headlock, and hangs on through a suplex from Sullivan. Back to Ross and he takes a cheapshot on Cactus and then brings Rich right back in, and he puts Sullivan down with an elbow and goes back to the headlock again. Over to Jack and Rich immediately snags him in the headlock and Ross comes in with his own headlock. See, it’s just a headlock, but it’s part of a story where they’re frustrating the heels and doing different stuff while holding the move. Jack finally escapes, but Rich blind tags to confuse Jack further. But then he misses a blind charge and hits the turnbuckles with his elbow, allowing Sullivan to go to work on it. Meanwhile Norman comes out to bug Kevin while Jack holds an armbar on Rich in the ring, and then he tosses Tommy and runs the shoulder into the post. Back in the ring, Jack continues beating on the arm. Over to Sullivan, but he collides with Rich for a double down and it’s hot tag Ross. He slugs away with COMMANDO MARTIAL ARTS, but Sullivan tosses him over the top behind the ref’s back and then cradles for the pin at 10:08. The ending sucked but it was a really good TV match. *** And then the SLAUGHTERHOUSE beats the hell out of Norman for good measure, but CAPTAIN MIKE ROTUNDA makes the save, in what JR describes as his street clothes, but he’s still wearing his sailor hat in case any boats need launching while he’s in the area.

And with that we wrap it up for another week. It’s too bad the Sullivan and Jack stuff never went anywhere because I’m really enjoying their dysfunctional relationship on these and Mick Foley is a delight as always. This episode was definitely lacking somewhat in star power, though.