The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents George “The Animal” Steele

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents George “The Animal” Steele

For those keeping track, I’m using the WWE Network version of this one because my copy is pretty janky. Now I’m just waiting for chrisH to jump in and be like “They actually cut out a **** hidden gem with Antonio Inoki from New Japan in 1983 on that version and put in an ice cream bar factory skit instead for music licensing reasons.”

And they even edit out the saxophone music from the spinning cube intro! COME ON!

Released December 15 1987 according to the info on the Network.

Your host is Gorilla Monsoon

WWF title, cage match: Bruno Sammartino v. George Steele

I believe this is the same clipped version that appeared on the Bruno tape, as we’re back in the late 70s in Philly. We’re joined with George beating on Bruno in the corner, but Bruno makes the comeback and beats the hell out of him, pulling him down from the cage when he tries to climb out. And Bruno runs him into the post, knocks him out, and walks out the door at 2:00 shown. Man, this was even shorter than the last time I saw it. Still a fun beating by Bruno. 1 for 1.

George Steele v. Gorilla Monsoon

From MSG in August 1973, with Vince on commentary still trying to sound like Howard Cosell. Steele beats on Gorilla as we join this, until Gorilla fights back with a bearhug and George punches out of it with a foreign object. George goes to a straight and blatant choke and then slugs Gorilla out to the apron, as Monsoon takes a pretty impressive bump over the top. Back in the ring, George keeps hammering on him with the object, but Monsoon bearhugs him and George nails him with the object again to break. Gorilla finally gets it away from him, but Steele runs away and gets counted out at 4:38. REAL BAD, as it was all bearhug, object, bearhug, object for the whole time. 1 for 2.

Randy Savage v. George Steele

From Saturday Night’s Main Event, as George meets Elizabeth for the first time and instantly decides to stalk her for the next two years. Man, there was a question on the blog about matches you were sick of seeing as a kid, and I completely forgot to mention this combination. Of course, this features young Dean Malenko as a referee. Savage runs away to start and Steele quickly tosses him to the floor and gives chase and we get more stalling. Savage hides behind Elizabeth to buy time, but Steele rips up a turnbuckle in the ring and throws the stuffing in Savage’s face. And he sells it, bless his heart. But then Animal gets all distracted by Liz and Savage pins him at 4:07. 1 for 3.

Back to TNT in 1985, as Lou Albano takes George to Dr. Sigmund Ziff, a psychiatrist of some kind. He tries some hypnotherapy and regresses George back to childhood, but the treatment doesn’t take and George wakes up and snaps.

Another TNT segment, as Randy Savage is being interviewed by Vince (and rocking the classic HULK WHO? Shirt) but he sees Hogan on the cover of the WWF Magazine and flips out (“Bad Elizabeth!”) before a delivery man brings flowers for Elizabeth. “I’ll show you out, boy, YEAH!” And then he carries on with “Don’t forget, Vince McMahon, that a man in my position can’t afford to look ridiculous”, which he says with no irony while wearing red spandex tights and sneakers. And of course, the flowers are stuffed with turnbuckle padding and it’s obvious who they’re from.

From TNT again, as Dr. Ziff gets more desperate and moves onto shock treatment for George this time. Unfortunately after finding a good voltage (“How now, brown cow?”) he keeps going and fries George’s brain again. Albano thinks he might be a quack.

Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. George Steele

From Boston Garden, September 86. Steele steals the belt to start and Savage runs away and hides behind Liz, but can’t sucker George into a double axehandle, sadly. I should note that Savage is using a rare gold trunks and yellow boots combo here, which looks pretty boss actually. More running from Savage, but Steele chokes him out and runs him into the turnbuckles, leaving Savage swinging at air. So Macho finds the foreign object in his tights and knocks Steele out with it, and then goes to work on him in the corner. Steele fights back and Savage puts him down with the object again and drops the double axehandle on him for two. George gets all distracted by Liz again, but Savage tries a clothesline and Steele bites the arm to block it and throws a chair into the ring. They fight to the floor and Steele throws more chairs in the ring and hits Savage with one of them for the DQ at 5:25. This basically went nowhere. 1 for 4. Savage actually keeps running back in the ring and attacking, and Steele chases him out multiple times and they fight to the back until the refs finally break them apart. Afterwards, we get bonus footage of George bringing a kid into the ring and teaching him how to tear up the turnbuckles, while the kid poses and steals the spotlight. I believe that was a young Adam Cole.

Junkyard Dog & George Steele v. Demolition

From MSG in August 87, and this is extremely interesting for me as a wrestling nerd because George & JYD were teaming up on Wrestling Challenge early on in the show’s run, but it never paid off with anything on TV that I ever saw, and this is the only time I’ve seen them actually team up against anyone but jobbers. Ax beats on JYD to start and slams him, but the faces double-team him and George gets face paint all over himself and he’s very confused about it. Over to Smash and George compares tongues with him, but Demolition traps him in the corner and double-teams him. But then George bites on Smash and Dog slugs him down for two. The Demos double-team Dog this time and JYD is so out of it that he’s barely selling for them and won’t even go down for any of their moves. Dog and Smash clothesline each other and Dog kind of takes a half-bump and falls forward on his knees, and Animal comes in for a donnybrook. When you’re so bad that GEORGE STEELE has to carry the match for you, it’s time to hang it up. Ref calls for the DQ at 6:09 and Demolition wins because reasons. Something with a chair, whatever. Really awful as Dog was just beyond the pale of badness here. 1 for 5.

From SNME, Gene Okerlund goes on a hunt for George Steele in the Detroit Zoo. Hilarity ensues.

George Steele v. Sika

From MSG, September 87, as Sika attacks and beats on George in the corner and chokes him out, but Steele pulls out a foreign object and fights back with it. Kim Chee trips him up and George chases him and throws a chair into the ring, and Sika uses it for the DQ at 3:00. Nothing to this one. 1 for 6.

George Steele v. King Harley Race

From a Challenge taping in Rockford IL, sometime around September 87. You sure can’t say there’s not an interesting assortment of matches on this one, I’ll give it that. Race immediately hits a piledriver and goes up to finish, but he misses a diving headbutt and George comes back and slugs away on the King. George tosses him and then hauls him back in over the top rope as Race is desperately bumping all over the ring to get a decent match out of George. Race takes another wacky bump to the floor and George runs him into the post, but Race runs him into the corner to cut him off and takes over with a kneedrop. Race with a clothesline, but George bites his arm, so Race dumps him to the floor and they brawl out there, resulting in Steele getting rammed into the table. So George loses his cool and brings a chair into the ring, at which point Hercules runs in for the DQ at 4:03. Heel beatdown results and the combined forces of Scott Casey and Lanny Poffo can’t even save George! But then Bam Bam Bigelow finally clears the ring and saves the day. Mad props to Harley Race, who took this silly match as a challenge and actually got something decent and coherent as a match out of George here. 2 for 7.

Back to TNT as Adrian Adonis models some new fashion, and George attacks him for no adequately explored reason.

Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. George Steele

From WWF Superstars of (blurred), October of 87. Honky attacks and chokes him out on the ropes, and then Jimmy trips him up, so George goes after the Mouth and Honky grabs the megaphone, prompting Steele to grab it and use it for the DQ at 1:34. Well that was quite the epic. 2 for 8.

Meanwhile, George goes on a tour of the WWF ice cream bar factory as we watch the assembly process and George tests the finished product.

George Steele v. Danny Davis

Well it wouldn’t be a George Steele compilation in 1987 without these two wrestling each other. We’re in Boston, June of 1987, so Danny was still in the prime of his nuclear heat as a heel before it evaporated by the end of the year. Hey, you can’t say that Davis didn’t get every bit out of that gimmick that he was going to get before the joke got old. Danny wisely runs away to start, but George hauls him back in and beats on him as Davis bumps all over the place. Danny offers a handshake of peace and friendship and even demonstrates with the referee to show how sincere he is, but George won’t fall for it and bites the hand. So Davis runs away again and George catches him and bites his leg, until Danny finds a foreign object and puts George down with it. The ref is unable to prove anything, but George takes him down with a single-leg takedown into a forehead bite to come back. George gets some slams as Davis sells more and more with each one and it turns into the Simpsons rake gag where he just keeps doing bodyslams over and over. Finally Davis has had enough and walks out at 8:23. This was another one where I wouldn’t call it particularly GOOD in any sense, but it was a normal match and Davis was trying hard to get something out of it. 3 for 9.

I gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised as the ratio on this one, as this was far from the worst tape I’ve ever seen. There’s actually a wide variety of matches and opponents here, and although there’s nothing that’s good in any real sense, it’s a very easy and inoffensive collection of stuff. I wouldn’t go out on a limb and say it’s worth watching or anything, but I’ve seen far worse.