The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 09.30.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 09.30.22

RIP Antonio Inoki.

Taped from Philly. It was nice to have a big show last week because I don’t even remember what any of the matches are for this one.

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Excalibur & Tony Schiavone

AEW World tag team title: The Acclaimed v. Private Party v. Butcher & Blade

The fact that the Acclaimed’s graphic now reads “with Daddy Ass” will probably not stop being weird for a few weeks yet. Bowens trades wristlocks with Kassidy to start and gets a rollup for two, but Kassidy gets a backslide for two. He snaps off a rana on Bowens, but Bowens superkicks him for two and Caster comes in to work on the leg. The Acclaimed double-team him with a neckbreaker and then Bowens hits a legdrop on Quen’s crotch, but Butcher and Blade can take no more of these offbeat shenanigans and come in to break things up. Blade tosses Kassidy and they double-team Bowens to take over and choke him out in the corner. Blade with a snap suplex on Bowens for two and a powerslam gets two. Butcher comes in with a legdrop for two. Bowens fights back with a superkick on Blade, but Butcher cuts off the tag, so Quen tags himself in and runs wild. Moonsault on Butcher and PP does Poetry in Motion on Blade for a Hardy tribute, and Kassidy hits a senton for two. Quen gets dumped and Butcher & Blade double-team Kassidy with a powerbomb for two. Kassidy dumps them and hits a dive, but Bowens makes a blind tag on the way by and the Acclaimed finish Blade with the Mic Drop at 10:00 to retain. This was OK but never really took off. **1/2

Meanwhile, the Gunns make fun of FTR’s three tag team titles while Morrisey tapes his wrists.

Meanwhile, Jade Cargill continues complaining about lack of competition, so Nyla Rose interrupts and she wants another shot. Hopefully they turn Nyla babyface, her Twitter is hilarious.

Lee Moriarty v. Fuego Del Sol

Moriarty cradles for two and chops Fuego into the ropes, then dropkicks him and puts the boots to him on the ropes. Lee with a capture suplex and a facebuster into a crossface finishes at 2:00. And Morrisey chokeslams Fuego afterwards because he’s very angry. I thought the Firm was supposed to be all off doing their own thing until MJF summoned them like Ron Burgundy’s news team? Now they’re already just another heel stable doing heel stuff.

Meanwhile, Andrade continues sewing seeds of dissention amongst Hangman Page and the Dark Order. And he challenges 10 to a match with 10’s mask against Andrade leaving AEW for good. And then Ethan Page stops by to accuse Matt Hardy of CONTRACT TAMPERING. I like how they went back to that punchline again here like Bischoff desperately trying to hit the Sid joke in 2000. Tony Khan needs to get off Twitter for a while.

Willow Nightingale v. Jamie Hayter

Hayter throws shoulders to start, but Willow puts her down with her own and follows with a senton and splash for two. Willow with a fisherman’s suplex for two. Hayter puts her down again with a big boot and follows with running knees in the corner and a snap suplex for two. Hayter with the chinlock and she beats on Willow while the announcers are all like “Oh man, Saraya! She’s really taking over the division already!” Fite takes a break and we return with Willow making a comeback, but Hayter cuts her off with a neckbreaker for two. Willow comes back with a pounce to put Hayter on the floor, and back in for a death valley driver that gets two. Willow goes up and Britt distracts her, allowing Hayter to hit a german suplex and lariat to finish at 8:08. This was OK but the crowd was DEEEEEEEEAD for it and Willow never wins anyway. **

Meanwhile, we meet WAR-JOE.

Ryan Nemeth joins us in the ring to insult Philadelphia and ECW, but Hook interrupts and destroys him, but then the Trustbusters remind us that they exist and their butler leaves him a note on the ramp. You wouldn’t think they could find a step DOWN from feuding with 2.0 for Hook but here we are.

Meanwhile, Hangman Page talks about how the fans will lead him to victory against Moxley, but then someone reminds him that the match is in Cincinnati and he’s suddenly less sure.

Apparently the main event of Battle of the Belts IV is Pac v. Trent. Really putting the big money matches on that one. So I guess they’re doing an hour of Rampage live and then another hour for Battle of the Belts right afterwards? That’s…a choice.

Rush v. John Silver

Silver puts Rush on the floor to start and mocks the Tranquilo lifestyle, so Rush comes back in and puts the boots to him. Rush stomps away in the corner, but then shows Silver the proper way to pose and then tosses him. Andrade gets a cheapshot and they fight out there as Rush beats him into the table and dumps some garbage on him. Back in the ring, Rush chokes him out, but he goes up and misses a senton. Silver makes the comeback and gets a powerbomb for two. Silver with the kicks, but Rush superkicks him and hits a northern lights suplex for two. They trade forearms and slug it out, but Rush wins that battle, so Silver hits him with a brainbuster for two. Jose gets involved and Reynolds gets rid of him, but then Andrade provides more distraction and Rush finishes with the shotgun dropkick at 11:00. Another one where the match was OK, but the crowd was dead and John Silver literally never wins matches so it’s not like he had any realistic chance at any point. **1/2 And then Andrade’s team tries the beatdown, but Hangman Page and the Dark Order make the save to end the show.

Well, after one week of an exciting Rampage packed with stars, we’re back to the usual midcarders having dull matches again. Wake me up when September ends. Oh, wait, I guess that’s now.