The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 06.26.82

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 06.26.82

Continuing on with the Mid-Atlantic rants to fight cancer! Hopefully Slaughter’s Privates will raise Daryl’s spirits again this week. Because realistically there’s only like 3 or 4 people reading these, so losing one of them would be a horrific blow to the readership numbers.

Taped from Charlotte, NC

Your host is Bob Caudle

Jack Brisco joins us at the desk to start, as we get footage of Roddy Piper repeatedly attacking Jack and brother Gerry, waiting each time until they get some bum in the figure-four and then jumping on their leg. That’s pretty damn smart of him, actually. Anyway, even though Jack can handle himself against Piper, he’s now got Ricky Steamboat in his corner to fend of Piper and his “paid off beach bum” Don Muraco. Ricky was even in Japan doing a tour and read about Piper’s shenanigans in the wrestling papers over there! Apparently that’s what swayed him to come back to the US and join up with Brisco.

Ricky Steamboat & Jack Brisco v. Matt Borne & Steve Sybert

Yup, here’s the Mid-Atlantic debut (on the WWE Network at least) of young Matt Borne, sporting an impressive Bob Ross afro at this point. Borne actually holds off Steamboat and then pokes Brisco in the eye and puts the boots to him, getting a lot more offense than your usual Crockett enhancement guy. Sybert comes in and he can barely even get a headlock on Brisco before he gets his ass kicked, and Steamboat comes in and kicks out his leg before going to work on it. Should have stuck with the clown. Steamboat wrenches on the ankle and Brisco comes off the top rope with a knee onto Sybert’s knee, which is SLIGHTLY hypocritical of him considering that he just spent the opening segment bitching and moaning about Piper doing exactly that. Borne comes back in and slugs away on Steamboat before going to a chinlock and twisting Steamboat’s neck, really getting some shine in this one. And then Sybert comes in and accidentally hits his own partner like a complete doofus. Brisco comes in and continues destroying Sybert, and he puts Sybert in a backbreaker while Steamboat chops him off the top for the pin at 6:00. This Matt Borne guy intrigues me and I wish to subscribe to his newsletter.

Jake Roberts v. Rowdy Roddy Piper

Interestingly, two people who never really had any interaction years later in the WWF. The promos alone would have been legendary. Piper takes Jake down with a hiptoss, but Jake gets his own while Ricky Steamboat joins us on commentary and accuses Piper of paying out big money for “bounty hunters”. “If you’re not that good in the ring, you should get beat!” notes Ricky. That’s a tad reductive. Piper takes him down with a facelock, but Jake fights back in the corner and slugs away, until Piper gives him the ol’ Jesse Ventura special and then chokes him out on the ropes. The ref finally pulls Piper off and Jake gets more shots on him, but Piper suplexes him for two. Steamboat is OFFENDED that Piper would use his cheating moves rather than a solid suplex like that earlier. Jake with a sunset flip for two, but Piper thumbs him in the throat this time and then slugs Roberts down for two. Piper with a very wacky kneelift for two. Piper goes to a chinlock and Jake fights out of that, so Piper puts him in the sleeper instead and Jake has to make the ropes. Steamboat gives him kudos for getting to the ropes, which again seems a bit hypocritical given his “If you’re not good enough you deserve to lose” stance earlier. Jake makes the comeback with his dreaded kneelift for two, but Sgt. Slaughter comes out and trips him up for the DQ at 7:00. But then Steamboat acts fast and leaves the desk to chase off the heels before any beatings can take place. Good TV match here. **1/2

Sgt. Slaughter’s Privates are front and center at the desk, having regained the Mid-Atlantic tag team titles from King Parsons & Porkchop Cash recently. So yes, the belts are tightly strapped around Slaughter’s Privates again! Apparently Slaughter was feeling humiliated and let down by his Privates and wanted them to elevate their game again, threatening to disown his Privates unless they got the titles again! Well luckily for us all, that’s just what happened.

Jimmy Valiant v. Bill White

Jimmy quickly chases White out of the ring and twerks at him, as Caudle notes that Jimmy is a “bundle of energy”. Yeah he’s a bundle of something all right. “He’s cranked up!” continues Caudle, completely missing the obvious explanation. Valiant rams him into the corner and keeps going to a chinlock, but White fights out of that. But then he walks into an elbow and Jimmy drops the big elbow on him to finish at 2:00. This was rather long and meandering by Jimmy Valiant squash standards.

Sgt. Slaughter puts his Privates in their place at the desk, chastising them for getting away from him while they were champions before. It’s really sad when your Privates veer away from you like that. Sarge brings out Roddy Piper, and he’s proud to be friends with him, so Piper rants about Jack Brisco and warns us that he could have “squished his head like a melon” if he wanted to. But he didn’t.

Sgt. Slaughter & His Privates v. Mike Rotundo, Kelly Kiniski & Mike Davis

Kiniski hiptosses Kernodle out of the corner to start, but Kelly gets overwhelmed by Slaughter’s Privates and they’re all over his leg in the corner. But Nelson gets caught in the babyface corner and they work his arm over, really twisting Slaughter’s Private up in knots. Over to Kernodle as Caudle notes that Sarge hasn’t tagged in yet. Slaughter just can’t get his Privates out of the ring! Finally he comes in and slams Rotundo before dropping a knee on him. Nelson comes in with the chinlock, as poor Rotundo gets squeezed by Slaughter’s Privates and they’re wrapped all around his throat. Slaughter comes in with a dropkick on Rotundo, but Mike falls into the corner and brings Kiniski in again. And Slaughter’s Privates are immediately all over him, but he shakes off Slaughter’s Privates and brings Rotundo back in again. Unfortunately the pair of Privates is too much to overcome, and Kernodle gets a neckbreaker for two. Back to Slaughter, who slams Rotundo onto the top turnbuckle and beats him down, allowing Nelson to hit a back elbow for two. Mike Davis gets a hot jobber tag and cleans house with dropkicks, really putting the boots to Slaughter’s Privates and taking them both on! Sadly one man can only survive against Slaughter’s Privates for so long, and the Cobra Cannon finishes him at 8:15, despite a valiant effort when faced with two of Slaughter’s Privates and only one of himself.

Kelly Kiniski and Mike Rotundo get some promo time at the desk in our local drop-in replacement promo, as Kelly puts over young Rotundo, who STILL looks like a 45 year old accountant even fresh out of college! Rotundo is pretty sure that if they had been able to isolate Slaughter’s Privates out there, they could have taken them. Wise words.

Wahoo McDaniel & Jay Youngblood v. Ken Timbs & Ali Bey

Wahoo and Jay, who are the Two Indians as Caudle reminds us over and over, double-team Timbs in their corner and Wahoo beats him down with chops and adds a powerslam. Wahoo adds the vicious “tommy hawk chop” in the corner, which Caudle notes is what you expect to see with Indians in there. Youngblood with a double tommy hawk chop for two. Timbs manages to work Youngblood back into the corner and Bey comes in for some shoulderblocks, but Jay chops him down again and he lets Timbs have another go. Jay with the atomic drop on Timbs for two. Wahoo gets another one and goes to work on the leg, and Youngblood comes in with a back suplex for two. Another suplex gets two. Wahoo with another huge chop, and then Youngblood hits a diving chop for the pin at 4:11. Wahoo was throwing LEATHER out there with those chops. Also a wide angle reveals that poor Bob Caudle has to stand the whole time while doing commentary. Were chairs not invented in 1982? I’m pretty sure they were. Maybe the southern US took longer adopting them because of the Civil War I dunno.

Paul Jones continues antagonizing Ding Dong Mosca, which seems like a bad idea. And Jack Brisco has gone through too much pain and suffering as Mid-Atlantic champion to just give it up to Piper, and that’s where we leave it for this week.

A very enjoyable episode this week!