The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 07.22.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 07.22.22

https://twitter.com/TonyKhan/status/1550578379543437314?s=20&t=M6LSpBHgBQNNAHtlnYa0Lg

Oh, TK is feeling cheeky tonight.

And look, I know everyone is concerned about my potential issues due to accidentally pulling a Vince Russo when I signed the website sale agreement, but there’s a couple of regular blog correspondents who are lawyers and have looked over the deal for me. Everything is fine, it’s 66% totally under control, and I won’t have to do it. Maybe 60% under control on the absolute outside if we’re being super-conservative with our estimates.

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur. I don’t know if it’s Fite or the original broadcast, but the sound is in a tin can tonight.

Hangman Page & John Silver v. The Butcher & The Blade

Silver quickly gets double-teamed in the heel corner, but he fights back with a suplex on Blade and brings in the Hangman. Fallaway slam on the Blade and he dives onto Butcher, and then hits Blade with another one. Back in with a flying clothesline on Blade for two. But then Butcher hauls him out and runs him into the railing to take over, and chokes him out on the ropes in the ring. Blade goes to a chinlock, but Page fights them off and makes the hot tag to Johnny Hungie. He runs wild with forearms on Blade and an Angle slam for two. Blade comes back with a powerbomb for two, but Page gets another hot tag and backdrops Blade to the floor. He exchanges clotheslines with Butcher and hits him with a german suplex, but Blade breaks up the buckshot lariat. So Silver hits Butcher with a german suplex instead, and Page hits the lariat on a second try to finish at 8:00. Ehhhhhhhhh…this was just a match. **

Claudio Castagnoli joins us in the ring and he’s going to win the ROH title at the PPV. OK then.

Lee Moriarty v. Dante Martin

They exchange wristlocks to start and Moriarty reverses to a cravat and then cradles for two. Dante fights out with a rana, but Moriarty lays him out with a forearm. Dante dropkicks him to the floor, but for once he doesn’t do a dive and lets Lee back in the ring. Dante takes him down with a headlock, but Moriarty jumps into a guillotine and turns it into a northern lights suplex for two. Lee beats him down with forearms and goes to an armbar on the mat, and we take a break on Fite. Back with Dante hitting a flying bodypress for two as Stokely joins us at ringside, but Moriarty catches Dante in the Border City Stretch, and Dante makes the ropes. Dante comes back with a half and half suplex for two and goes up, but Moriarty avoids the Nosedive and rolls up Dante with the ropes for the pin at 8:48. Man they need to lay off having Dante do jobs all the time. So next week, it’s Moriarty v. Matt Sydal. This was good but Dante feels like Bart Gunn in 1996 right now, doing jobs to everyone while he waits for his partner to return. ***

Dr. Britt Baker DMD & Jamie Hayter v. Skye Blue & Ashley D’Amboise

Britt takes Skye down and works the arm to start. Skye does a bridge to avoid Britt, but gets kicked in the head for her trouble and it’s over to Hayter. They double-team Skye in the corner and Britt takes her to the floor with a neckbreaker off the apron. Back in, Britt with a crucifix for two, but Skye manages to tag Ashley, who runs wild on Hayter. And then Britt just comes in and superkicks her, and Jamie hits the backbreaker to set up the Lockjaw at 4:10. Just a total squash, which is good because I was getting worried that Britt might not get to look completely dominant for a week. *1/2 Like, they couldn’t even book Hayter to get the win here, it had to be Britt with the Lockjaw apparently.

Coming soon: Ari Daivari! Yeah.

RAP BATTLE: Austin Gunn v. Max Caster

This is being judged by Lil’ Scrappy, so you know it’s on the up and up. Austin goes with the shots at Max’s former relationship with Kris Statlander and insinuates he couldn’t please her with his scissor hands. Also he’s one of Bobby Lashley’s sisters. Also he’s a John Cena ripoff. That’s harsh. Caster keeps going to the “Ass Boyz” well and gets a pretty good shot when he reveals that Tony Khan bought ROH so he could burn all of the Gunn footage, but overall this was a major whiff. And then the Gunns attack and lay out the Acclaimed with garbage cans to get their heat back. Man, these guys were GOLD together and now it’s just dying by the week. Splitting them all up was a terrible choice.

Jay Lethal v. Christopher Daniels

Wasn’t Daniels retired by the Young Bucks? Or was it just that he couldn’t team with SCU any longer and he chose to retire? Daniels quickly takes Lethal down and slingshots with an elbow for two. Back elbow gets two. Lethal beats on him with forearms, but Daniels fires back with a leg lariat to put Lethal on the floor. Jay trips him up and hits a tope to take over. Daniels fights to the apron and Lethal sends him to the floor with a kick and follows with another tope, allowing Sonjay Dutt to get some shots in. Back in, Lethal goes to a chinlock and drops a knee on him. Daniels fights back with a backslide for two, but Jay puts him down with a backbreaker and dropkicks him. Lethal tries to set up for a muscle buster, but Daniels escapes, so Lethal superkicks him to put him down again. Daniels comes back with a knee to the head to escape a slam, and fights back with the corner punches and an STO. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Lethal cuts him off with the Lethal Combination and goes up for the elbow, but Daniels gets his foot up and then cradles for two. Lethal puts him down again and tries the Injection, but Daniels counters it, and then Lethal hits it on the second try and gets the pin at 9:24. Basically a very extended squash for Lethal. Bringing Daniels out of mothballs for this was a strangely random choice. **1/2 And then Lethal puts Daniels out with Joe’s choke for extra heat, as we’ve had a total of zero involvement from Samoa Joe for this entire PPV build.

Once again, I would like to stress that I ordered the show specifically for FTR v. Briscoes, but everything else on it has been a total cluster as far as buildup and I can’t imagine it doing another 20,000 buys or whatever the last one did. I just don’t feel any buzz whatsoever. Also, this show sucked and was kind of a drag to watch, with nothing above Dark level as far as star power. But really, who could follow Vince McMahon retiring anyway?