Five Star Wrestling – October 13th 1990

A “Why not?” review of a show uploaded by Armstrong Alley from a short-lived promotion run by Grizzly Smith and some other former Bill Watts local promoters. It’s 1990, Louisiana, Sam Houston and Rockin’ Robin in prominent positions, and they were probably wishing like mad that Jake lost his job with the WWF and could come and be their main star and booker.

Hosted by Johnny Cascio, who I hear is a wizard on the keyboard.

The Million Dollar Baby and Jack Valiant vs. Mario Santana and Billy Joe Travis

Baby and Santana are midgets. Baby is like a mix between Ted Dibiase and Shawn Michaels and Santana looks like a little Don Frye. Valiant’s pretty nondescript and Travis was a known carny. The regular-sized guys start out, with Travis getting a nice suplex and bringing in Santana to try something, but Valiant jumps out and Baby comes in. I believe Baby might be a son of Lord Littlebrook, who was, as John Arezzi famously said, “the leader of the midgets”. He misses a shot and tumbles out and then tumbles in when he returns. Santana’s falling about on a rope run, so takes side headlock. Travis looks on like he wishes he wasn’t there. They’re trying some of the classic midget spots but the referee doesn’t know how to do them, so it looks shit. Santana goes up on top and flies off with an elbow strike. Valiant stops the following count, but Travis puts them back in place for him and Santana to win. Not very good as a match.

Louie Spicolli vs. Sam Houston

They spell it as Lou Spicola, though. Houston’s got the fancy gear, chaps and vest, and music and belt, plus “Young Gun” nickname, just to show he’s one of the priorities in the promotion. The Angel of Death joins on commentary and as I’ve seen and heard him on different things I’ve reviewed this year I’ve come to like him and his goofy charm, even though he was as un-Angel of Death-like as you could get. It’s a shame the WWF didn’t give him a look for something to do, even if it was totally new. Houston works the arm until Spicolli gets a nice clothesline. He goes for a slam, which Sam skips over and gets the bulldog out of nowhere for the pinfall victory. Fair play, didn’t outstay its welcome.

Interview with Malibu, from American Gladiators, also known as Deron McBee, trying one of many different professions. His wife, Drzan, tried it out a decade later too and was the drzaning shits at it.

Rebuttal from Skandor Akbar and Lord Humongous, who stands there and flexes. This was the Gary Nations version, so probably his best bet.

J.J. Funk with a few words, in the unfortunate position of being a good hand but having done too many jobs in the WWF to get any major traction.

Bob Orton, obviously miscast as a babyface, talks about coming back from an injury at the hands of Devastation Incorporated, even acknowledging that he doesn’t feel comfortable in his skin as a good guy.

Thunder and Bobby Doll vs. Lord Humongous

Handicap match. Thunder isn’t anyone of note, nor is Bobby Doll. Thunder has a little bit of a Shelton Benjamin look. Humongous, who’s made the cardinal error of being a big, muscular guy but wearing long tights. He brushes off two dropkicks and gets a beautiful clothesline, sold almost with a full flip by Thunder, followed by a falling headbutt. Powerslam before he shoves the guy into his partner, who runs in and gets creamed. Press slam and legdrop finishes. A quick squash for the Lord, as it should be. I’d be interested to hear if Thunder went on to do anything as he had something.

Angel of Death vs. Kevin Von Erich

Angel plays the trumpet for Taps as is his custom. Kevin apparently has missed his plane, so is a no-show, allowing Akbar to get on the mic and call him out for cowardice. Angel had been beefing about Sam Houston earlier on commentary, so he takes Kevin’s place after being approved by president Jimmy Kilshaw, who was apparently a raging racist who JYD used to call out for it on TV in promos by talking about how he was looking forward to coming over to visit his “friend” so they could eat fried chicken and watermelon together.

Angel of Death vs. Sam Houston

Angel attacks before the bell and unloads with the heavy artillery before going to slaps and causing Sam to snap out of it. He tries a charge and runs into a boot. Sam cartwheels around a back body drop and mounts a comeback, but Angel reverses a counter body drop with a DDT for two. Sam gets his own DDT, missed by the camera and called a brainbuster by Cascio. Both men head outside and you can see the double count out a mile off, which is exactly what happens, obviously to continue the feud. Malibu backs up Sam against Akbar, looking as out of place as you could for this dated-looking regional promotion. Good, energetic match.

I’ve not been commenting on the commercial left in, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Captain Colortyme!

ANOTHER interview with Malibu, who repeats himself about wanting competition within twenty seconds.

Another rebuttal from Skandor Akbar, this time flanked by the Executioner, who stands there with a hood on.

Interview with the Royal Family, Rip Morgan and Jack Victory. Rip roars and Jacko tries to copy that with a here and there New Zealand accent that he drops after a few sentences.

Taras Bulba vs. Malibu

I don’t know how long he was able to ride it, but Bulba was a guy who beat Kerry Von Erich with the claw. Executioner, who previously was a mute figure, joins Cascio on commentary. Lousy slams from Malibu, although he doesn’t do too bad with a belly-to-belly that gives him the win in less than half a minute! Gee! Well, you can’t say they weren’t committed to getting him over with that.

Johnny Cascio promotes a $1 ticket for any children under the age of twelve that come to an upcoming show. I’ll say no more given the promoter. Worth noting that Sika and Kokina (Yokozuna) are booked for it.

Jack Victory vs. Rip Morgan

The Royal Family are booked against each other to annoy them following their first round victories, so they refuse to wrestle. Kilshaw gets in the ring to threaten them with losing their entry fees if they don’t. That’s a double disqualification for them and a grand they’re out. I wouldn’t blame them for sticking to their principles in an interesting twist.

Kamala vs. Bob Orton

Kamala is back with Ak. Ace is in his weird-looking newer gear, with the aces on the back of his red tights and red boots. Kamala attacks before the bell and whips Bob in for a Ray Stevens bump into the corner. Nervehold to slow that right down. That lasts a few minutes before Bob eventually elbows out and gets a forearm. Kamala whips Bob into the corner and gets an avalanche. Headbutts, then he shoves the ref out of the way one too many times and gets disqualified. Massively disappointing, as I was hoping Bob would get something more interesting out of Kamala.

The meltdown: Some good and some bad on a show that had a little bit of sense of who it was but not enough to be great.