The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 05.20.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 05.20.22

Taped from Planet Houston

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz and the Wizard

The House of Black v. Evil Uno, 10 & Fuego del Sol

Uno hits Brody with a rana after chops fail, but the Blacks trap him in the corner and beat on him. 10 comes in with an overhead suplex on Malakai for two, but Black rolls him into a heel hook. Fuego gets hyped up and tags himself in and you know how that goes. Buddy works the arm and uses Penta’s arm snap on him, so Fuego runs away and brings Uno back in again. He runs wild for a bit but gets triple-teamed and kicked down. Brody sets up for the finish but Fuego saves, so King destroys him on the floor as well. Back in the ring, Buddy goes back to work on Fuego’s arm, but the kid fights out with a Spanish Fly and makes the hot tag to 10. He suplexes the Blacks and goes for the full nelson on Brody, but Malakai breaks that up and rolls him into a kneebar. Uno saves, allowing 10 to hit a discus lariat and bring Uno in again. Uno hits Brody with running boots to bring him down, but then Buddy takes out Fuego with a DDT on the ramp and Brody hits a lariat and Ganso Bomb on Uno to finish at 9:21. This felt kind of rambling but it was energetic. **3/4

Meanwhile, Anthony Bowens is injured again, so Billy Gunn and his new son Max Caster wish him well and promise a SCISSOR PARTY when he returns.

Meanwhile, FTR accepts the challenge from Roppongi Vice for Dynamite because that puts them in line for the IWGP tag titles when they win. Maybe they’ll collect some more belts at Forbidden Door?

Shawn Spears v. Big Damo

So this would be the AEW debut of the former Killian Dain, who immediately no-sells Shawn’s stuff and hits him with the crossbody on the floor. Back in the ring, Spears tries a springboard and misses, and Damo hits him with a senton before missing a Vader bomb. So Spears gives him a knee and finishes with the C4 at 1:40. Obviously they had to put Spears over big to build up the Wardlow match, but Damo looked impressive here and could probably stick around a bit. *

Meanwhile, the Undisputed Elite are all excited about Kyle O’Reilly v. Adam Cole in the finals of the Owen Hart tournament, and Kyle promises a little Fingerpoke of Doom action in Las Vegas. HUGE IF TRUE. And the Bucks invite the Hardys to a Superkick Party at Double or Nothing.

Owen Hart Foundation quarterfinals: Red Velvet v. Kris Statlander

I have to admit, Jericho talking about throwing a fireball because he’s a WIZARD at every opportunity is getting funnier. Statlander gets a very delayed press slam, complete with flex, and then she blocks a headscissors and tosses her to the floor. Velvet blocks a baseball slide with the apron skirt, which earns her Chris Jericho’s Sports Entertainer of the Week award! Back in the ring, they slug it out and Velvet begs for mercy and then goes after Statlander’s giant knee brace for two. Red chokes away in the corner while Jericho and Ruby Soho argue about who Rancid likes more. See, this is the stuff you’re missing if you’re watching the TNT version instead of the international one. Red works the leg on the ropes, but Statlander comes back with a boot in the corner into a german suplex for two. Velvet comes back with the FINAL SLICE, but that only gets two. I know, I’m shocked too. Statlander with a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Velvet gets a wacky facebuster for two, but Statlander puts her down with a lariat and tries the Big Bang Theory, which Velvet reverses to a rollup, and Statlander reverses to her own rollup for the pin at 8:00 to advance. This was a very decent match, which is to say it was one of Red Velvet’s best ever. ***

Meanwhile, Hook and Tony Nese are both having troubles training their partners for Double or Nothing.

The Men of the Year join us to further trash talk Sammy Guevara and demand that he return the TNT title. So Sammy responds with a backstage promo where he destroys the belt with a sledgehammer and then makes out with Tay while Kazarian joins in on the destruction. I mean, they literally have a backup belt that Dan Lambert was carrying around for weeks. This storyline is the WORST. I have no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for or care about at this point.

Meanwhile, Toni Storm threatens to rearrange Britt’s teeth because she really wants to win the Owen Hart tournament for some reason.

I LOVE that they’re using the moving graphics from that guy on Twitter for Double or Nothing. MORE OF THIS. Although now they’ve added Jade v. Anna Jay to the show and it’s getting way overloaded.

Bryan Danielson & Jon Moxley v. Dante Martin & Matt Sydal

Given their easily-injured partners, maybe they should put Dante and Caster together and see what happens. Apparently Moxley signed a new deal with AEW, which will REALLY blow people’s minds when he shows up to win Money in the Bank. Big brawl to start and Bryan beats on Dante with forearms and brings him to the corner for clotheslines from Moxley. Suplex gets two. Danielson with a bow and arrow and he beats on him with elbows for two. Regal: “If it was up to me, every wrestler would have a cauliflower face”. Even Kota Ibushi? I couldn’t live in that world. Sydal comes in and legdrops Moxley for two and follows with a standing moonsault for two. They trade chops and Moxley drops him on the top with a stungun to take over, and Danielson follows with a knee off the apron. Back in the ring, Danielson goes to work on the arm and twists up the wrist in a horrible manner that Regal notes is called “The pig’s foot” over in England. Moxley comes in with a slam for two and goes to a straitjacket hold, but Sydal fights out of that and goes up. And then Moxley boots him down and takes him to the floor for more abuse. Back in, Moxley wallops him with forearms, but Sydal fights back with kicks to put Mox down. Hot tag Dante, and he hits Danielson with a crossbody for two. Moxley takes out Sydal with a choke on the floor, however, and Danielson cuts off Dante on the top rope and brings him down with a double underhook superplex into the Lebell Lock, but Dante makes the ropes. Bryan beats on him with kicks and they set up for a Hart Attack, but Sydal saves and runs wild on the BCC. He hits Bryan with a meteora from the top rope to the apron, and Dante moonsaults Moxley for two. Another try to caught in the choke from Mox, but Dante rolls him over for two. Superkick and he goes up again, but Mox catches the missile dropkick and rolls him into a piledriver for two. Mox gives him the elbows while Danielson ties up Sydal, but still can’t put him away, so he hits the Paradigm Shift to finish at 12:05. ***1/2 And then we get a sudden brawl between the Jericho Appreciation Society and BCC as we are DESPERATELY OUT OF TIME.

A pretty good show this week as they hit the PPV hype harder.