The SmarK Rant for WWF Prime Time Wrestling – 08.22.88

The SmarK Rant for WWF Prime Time Wrestling – 08.22.88

Oh yay, it’s Daylight Savings Time again, aka the time of year here in Saskatchewan when all the shows start airing at a different time again and I have to do math to figure out when to post stuff in the mornings. Why can’t the rest of the world just do like us and ignore it?

As noted in the WrestleFest thread from yesterday, a couple of the missing matches were featured on this episode, so away we go!

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. Bobby has helpfully brought an oxygen tank with him, just in case Hogan and Savage need one after Summerslam. And it’s only half-full so he got a discount!

Hercules v. DJ Peterson

From a Superstars taping in Wheeling WV, apparently. Peterson is one of those guys who likely would have found his way back with a push after the AWA run, but tragically died in a motorcycle accident a couple of years after this. They fight over a lockup and DJ actually wins that one, but Herc takes him down with a headlock and DJ rolls him over for two a couple of times. Hercules tries a crossbody, but DJ ducks down and Herc takes a bump to the floor off that. Back in, DJ goes to his own headlock and Herc takes him to the corner to break, but he misses a charge and Peterson goes back to work on him again while Sean Mooney tries to work the phrase “flying mare” into the conversation as much as possible. Who is he, Frank Gotch? They slug it out and Peterson hits a superkick and works him over in the corner, but Herc clobbers him with a clothesline and finishes him off with the torture rack at 5:15. Pretty good showing for Peterson but this run didn’t go anywhere for him. **

The Hart Foundation v. Bob Bryant & Al Kirkland

From Wresting Challenge, as Bret beats on both jobbers and hits Kirkland with a backbreaker. He slingshots Anvil in for two, but Neidhart picks the guy up and continues beating him up while we get an inset promo from the Harts, as Bret is ready for “The Summerslam 88”. Neidhart drops the doofus on the top rope and chokes him out on the ropes, before they finish with the Hart Attack at 2:43. In a subtle note here, Bobby Heenan talks about how he probably won’t be at ringside for Hercules’ match at Summerslam, setting up the eventual sale to Ted Dibiase.

The Brother Love Show with special guest Jesse Ventura. Brother Love tries to tell us that Jesse is friends with Savage (nope, they haven’t spoken since Elizabeth came around), and that he might take bribes from Dibiase (nope, he’s a rich movie star now), and he’s got problems with Hogan (nope, Hogan is jealous of HIM) and that he’s afraid of Andre (nope, he can step back in the ring tomorrow and be World champion). So with all those falsehoods debunked by Jesse, the MegaBucks interrupt and tell him that he better pay attention to the match, while stuffing money into his jacket. Jesse no-sells it, but doesn’t give the money back. Of course, that led to nothing and he was basically an unbiased ref.

BREAKING NEWS: If you’re got a satellite dish, call Primetime 24 and you too can order Summerslam 88! Huge if true.

Big Bossman v. Scott Casey

Yup, it’s our first WrestleFest 88 dark match. Once I get all the matches reviewed I’ll probably splice them all together into one document for posterity, like I did with the Summerslam 92 rant. Casey works the arm to start while Lord Alfred talks about teaming with him down in Texas and Mexico some years ago. So I checked, and it turns out that they were a tag team 2 times, in Texas, in 1976. Fair enough. Bossman beats on Casey against the ropes to escape the armbars, and follows with a bearhug. Casey can’t escape with the ear claps, so he bites him to escape and goes to a sleeper, which doesn’t last long. Bossman charges and hits boot, but Casey does his own charge and walks into the Bossman Slam at 4:14. This was a real match and everything. **1/4

Koko B. Ware v. John Ziegler

Gorilla plugs the new Koko B. Ware watch available, and Bobby quips “Someone’s missing their watch?” while Gorilla tries not to crack up. We’re in Bristol, TN for this one, from a Wrestling Challenge taping as the dream team of Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred gets more airtime. Koko gets a hiptoss and slam for two, but Ziegler goes up for a double axehandle. And that doesn’t work. Koko elbows him down again and goes to a Boston crab but gives it up quickly. And it’s once again a FLYING MARE on this show, which gets two. Oh Sean. Koko finishes with the missile dropkick and Ghostbuster at 3:18.

Outlaw Ron Bass v. Jim Evans

This is a Superstars squash match, as Jesse and Vince have a conversation about saddles in Texas, with Jesse accusing Vince of “riding side saddle” and Vince notes that he prefers “no saddle”. Ew, was Vince just talking about barebacking it on national TV? MAKE IT STOP. Bass quickly finishes with a Pedigree at 1:00 and then chokes out the geek with his whip. But of course, Brutus Beefcake makes the save and chases Bass off, and then CUTS UP THE WHIP, which would eventually backfire on him and cost him his title shot at Summerslam. He deserved everything he got for that. Sure, they showed the spurs on the forehead all the time, but never gave the rest of the context where Bass was just teaching him a lesson for destroying someone else’s personal property!

SUPER SUMMERSLAM 88 REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Just Gene running down the matches here.

King Haku v. Sam Houston

Our second match from WrestleFest 88. Soon my collection will be complete! Houston gets a pair of armdrags and Haku bails to regroup, and back in for more armdrags from Sam. Haku catches him with a press slam and drops him on the top rope before putting the metaphorical boots to him, and he follows with a catapult under the ropes. More stomping and Tongan martial arts leads to the nerve pinch, but Houston makes a comeback and then walks into the superkick like a complete geek. Big splash finishes at 5:00. Basically a squash for Haku. ½*

Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Yup, just the same match from WrestleFest 88 again, although the commentary is only Alfred and Mooney this time, so we omit the amazing sequence where Alfred tries to go “Ho-hoo”. And of course Duggan wins by DQ.

And Bobby and Gorilla wrap it up in the studio, as we’re seemingly missing about fifteen minutes from this episode somewhere. Was it an abbreviated episode or did they edit something out of this one on the Network? Running time is only 1:13 when it’s usually 1:30. The show’s history says that all the matches are intact for this one, so I got nothing.

Anyway, this was definitely an episode of the show. 1988 was not exactly a golden age for them.