The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT 2.0 – 02.15.22

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT 2.0 – 02.15.22

“Vengeance Day”

So I think this is my final jumping off point for this show. I’ve been reviewing it since the changeover in September and it’s not getting any better, it’s not getting any worse, it’s just another show to review now that’s not particularly enjoyable. We’ll see how I feel after tonight but, for example, I want to go through and redo the whole Best of the WWF Coliseum Video series as a project, and that sort of thing appeals to me much more than watching Von Wagner stumble through matches and Toxic Attraction posing.

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Vic Joseph & Wade Barrett

Meanwhile, Toxic Attraction text each other to hype up the show tonight.

WEAPONIZED CAGE MATCH: Pete Dunne v. Tony D’Angelo

Dunne quickly runs him into the steel cage and grabs a chair for some shots with that, but Tony hits him with a falcon arrow on a trash can to take over. And it’s time for the KENDO STICKS of course, but then he goes for a toolbox and Dunne puts his fingers in the lid and jumps on it. “If you’re squeamish you may want to turn away!” notes Vic. Too late, I’ve already been watching this crappy show for six months now. Tony comes back with the fire extinguisher blast to the face and hits Dunne with a superplex for two. This prompts the trained seals to chant “This is awesome” 3 minutes into the match. So Tony zipties Pete’s hands behind his back and stomps him down, then sticks a claw hammer in his mouth in a goofy spot. WHERE’S YOUR AWESOME CHANT NOW, ORLANDO? Tony somehow ends up getting triangled by a guy with no hands free, but DDTs him for two to escape. Meanwhile Vic reminds us of the Premium Live Event from Jeddha streaming only on Peacock! Why do they insist on lying about stuff like that? It streams on the WWE Network everywhere else in the world, plus it’s also available on PPV. Dunne manages to uncuff himself with a convenient pair of wire cutters, because why not, and then powerbombs Tony through the table in the corner, but Tony goes for his trusty crowbar. Pete stomps on his hands, hits him with the cricket bat, and hits the Bitter End for two. But then Tony goes low and hits the fisherman’s suplex for two. And everyone has shocked two count face! Including the crowd, who of course know to put their hands on their head on cue. They should program the fake crowd on the big screen behind them to do that too. And then Dunne gets another crowbar, hits Tony with it, and pins him with the Bitter End at 9:54. This was pretty clunky and rushed, and didn’t really have any story to it, just guys hitting each other with weapons for 10 minutes. ** And they only used one kendo stick! How can you even call it a cage match?

Meanwhile, Raquel calls Cora Jade at 5:00am to train for the Dusty Cup, but Cora just wants to eat Pop Tarts and sleep in.

And then in a dumb moment, Vic and Wade talk about the women’s Dusty Cup, which starts next week and still doesn’t have any teams announced or brackets, and then they throw it to Mackenzie for more on the Women’s cup. And then we cut to her in the crowd and she goes “Yeah, the Women’s cup starts next week! So tonight it’s the Men’s Finals and here’s comments from the people in that!” Who is producing this show?

Meanwhile, the only green that the Creeds chase is MONEY. Unlike MSK.

NXT Women’s tag team title: Toxic Attraction v. Indi Hartwell & Persia Pirotta

The champs attack before the bell and send them to the floor, then follow with a pair of terrifying dives right by the desk. Jacy Jayne was a foot away and still managed to almost miss. Back in the ring, Indi and Persia double-team Jacy in their corner, but Mandy provides distraction and Indi gets bumped to the floor. So the ref sends Mandy away and we take a break. Back with Indi making a comeback on Jacy and that brings in Persia to run wild. She hits Gigi with a german suplex and then stacks up the champs for a double samoan drop that gets two. Indi and Persia double-team Gigi with a spinebuster and that gets two, but then Persia fights with Jayne to the floor and charges, running into the stairs. In the ring, Indi tries to go up (and falls over) and Jayne (I guess?) trips her up, as Gigi gets two. And then Jayne finishes with a big boot at 8:10. This was pretty shitty. *

Meanwhile, Wendi and Amari hang out backstage, but Amari already has a partner for the Dusty Cup and Wendi is all sad. Good money says that they’ll forget about Miller and she won’t even be in the tournament. So she asks CRAZY Dakota Kai instead, who is talking to herself because she’s CRAZY.

Meanwhile, the BJs hang out in a bar and discuss what a loser Brooks is and how he’s stuck in the friend zone with Kacy. Or Kayden? I can’t even keep track of which one he’s supposed to be in love with. What a tremendous babyface team they are.

LA Knight joins us for some reason, and Grayson Waller interrupts with his group of police officers and shows video of Knight attacking him. And then Knight shows his own evidence and this is apparently good enough for the police, who leave and allow Knight to attack Waller and beat him up. So they finally have a match next week. What a payoff to that storyline. So, just to clarify the legal situation here, Waller’s complaint against Knight was that he was being assaulted and suffered personal harm from it, and they were presumably going to prevent it from happening. But then because the restraining order was supposedly null and void, the police were suddenly fine with Knight blatantly assaulting Waller on national TV? So it’s OK to just beat up someone as long as they don’t have a restraining order? Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Law & Order on Prime lately, I dunno.

Meanwhile, Indi and Persia are bummed, but Duke Hudson stops by and romances Persia.

NXT North American title: Carmelo Hayes v. Cameron Grimes

Grimes goes TO THE MOON, but Melo shoots it down and stomps on it. Now there’s a heel spot. Grimes tries for a takedown and Carmelo goes to the ropes to escape, so Grimes takes him down again for two. Grimes gets an armbar and then shows off his dance moves. Grimes with a backdrop, but Trick distracts Grimes and Hayes goes to work. They head to the apron and Hayes trips Grimes up, and back in for a guillotine legdrop as we take a break. Back with Grimes working a wristlock, but Grimes comes back with his bodypress deal and they slug it out. Did they literally cut the entire heat segment out of the match via the break? Grimes with a rana and he makes the comeback with a spinning uranage for two. Hayes gets a codebreaker and a springboard bodypress so high that he nearly overshoots, and that gets two. Hayes stops to pantomime some basketball, but Grimes superkicks him for two and it’s SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE all around. So Grimes goes after Trick and runs them together, then hits Melo with a reverse rana and a high cross for two. Grimes goes to finish, but Melo bails to escape and puts Trick in the line of fire to take the bullet. Back in, Hayes with a crossface, but Grimes rolls him over for two. Melo necks him, however, and finishes with the guillotine legdrop at 15:35. Started slow but they ended up having a really good match thanks to Grimes carrying things. ***1/2 Logically this should be the end of the story for Grimes and he should move on.

Meanwhile, Io and Kay Lee bond over smashing stuff.

Dusty Classic finals: MSK v. The Creed Brothers

I wonder if this was why “Rhodes” was trending on Twitter all day? People are really excited for this tournament final, I guess! The Creeds double-team Carter in their corner to start, but Julius gets caught in the MSK corner and they hit him with kicks to put him down. Julius bails and Lee hits him with a crazy dive that the camera nearly misses, but Julius comes back with slams in the ring and runs Lee off the apron and into the desk. We take a break and return with Brutus missing a charge on Lee, and it’s tags on both ends. Carter hits Julius with a german suplex and Carter superkicks both of them, and then dumps Julius and moonsaults him off the apron. Back in for stereo sentons on Julius, and that gets two for Lee. MSK with a catapult into a double stomp on Julius, for two. Brutus comes in and they all fight to the floor, where Julius catches a dive from Carter and slams him in the aisle, and then back in for a sliding clothesline to finish at 9:15, giving the Creeds the cup. MSK was flying all over the place but the Creeds didn’t really do anything here and there wasn’t much of a match between the dives. **1/2

Meanwhile, Nikkita Lyons is all about dancing and fighting and rapping.

Imperium joins us in the ring, and apparently in understand them you have to be ready to suffer anguish and misery. Well I’ve been reviewing this show since Sep…oh wait I already used that joke this week. Also Gunther will be watching the main event closely tonight, but Solo Sikoa interrupts and he doesn’t give a damn about the mat being sacred. So he offers to wipe the mat with Der Ring General and make him a bitch, but then walks away before actually following up.

Meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler is here to break into Ciampa’s home and drink his milk.

Meanwhile, Carmelo bumps into Pete Dunne, presumably setting up the next program.

Next week: The Women’s Dusty Cup begins! We still don’t know any of the matches or more than, what, 2 teams? But it’s next week!

NXT title: Bron Breakker v. Santos Escobar

They don’t even start the match until the top of the hour, as I continue to wonder why this show needs an overrun. Bron works a headlock to start and overpowers him, but Santos gets a dropkick. Bron goes back to the headlock and turns it into a delayed suplex. Escobar tries to run away and Bron hits him with a clothesline, but then he goes after the henchmen and gets laid out by Escobar with a dive. Back in, that gets two. Neckbreaker gets two. Santos with a senton for two. He takes Bron to the apron for a bizarre attempt at a Boston crab on the stairs, I think. Whatever it was, didn’t work. Back in, Escobar starts working on the arm and goes to a chinlock. This is a LOT of selling for a guy who shouldn’t be selling that much against a guy who no one thinks has any chance at winning. Bron makes the comeback and beats up the henchmen, but Dolph Ziggler runs in and superkicks Bron behind the ref’s back, and Santos gets two. Luckily Ciampa is there to chase Dolph away, but Escobar gets a tornado DDT. Bron escapes the Fantom Driver, spears him, and finishes with his slam dealie at 11:50 to retain. This was OK but didn’t really have any heat until Dolph interfered, and in fact Bron was getting some boos near the end. **1/2

First hour was complete trash, second hour was OK.

Yeah I’m out. Life’s too short.

Next week: Best of the WWF, Volume 1!