The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 06.15.21

The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 06.15.21

We will continue with Sting’s wacky adventures on Thursday morning because I still don’t have Dynamite to watch on Wednesdays anyway.

Plus I know everyone LOVES NWA Powerrr and is waiting with breathless anticipation every Wednesday morning to find out what happened on it. Especially the 500 people that bought the PPV. Now I feel bad using my Fite.TV credits to pay for it knowing no one else spent money on it, though. Actually, no I don’t. I bought Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when it came out and nearly fell asleep halfway into the first disc (hot take: “1979” is vastly overrated and the production on the album is muddy overall, FIGHT ME 90s KIDS), and then thankfully traded it to my roommate’s girlfriend for a copy of The Beatles’ Live at the BBC, which is a way better two disc set because it’s the fucking Beatles. She was basically like “Ew, my dad got me this CD of this band no one’s ever heard of before, maybe you’ll like it”. And then that just pissed me off as a Beatles fan and I rammed her head into a nearby turnbuckle in my apartment, but she was Samoan so she just danced. Because that’s how it works. And yes, my roommate and his girlfriend were both Samoan, I’m sure there’s some weird Freudian thing that people can take out of that, WHATEVER.

Where was I again…

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Joe Galli, Tim Storm & Velvet Sky’s amazing cleavage.

Last week: Kamille is coronated by Nick Aldis, who was at a whole new level of drip. And then Melina shows up THROWING HER SHOES, which the announcers sagely note is never a good sign under any circumstances, but Jennacide attacks her to set up tonight’s main event.

Trevor Murdoch joins us at the desk and he’s still pretty angry about losing the title shot, and he points out that wives have a talent for putting things in perspective and making you feel like an idiot. I hear ya. So she pointed out to him that he had Aldis beat with his own finishing hold, so now everyone knows that Aldis has a weakness and everyone knows that Trevor had him beat, including Aldis’s wife, and WE ALL KNOW WHO SHE IS. It’s Mickie James, by the way. In case you didn’t. BOOM, TRUTH BOMB. KAYFABE SHATTERED like Sid’s leg.

Austin Idol & Tyrus join May Valentine and they’re tired of being called cheats and liars, just because they’re pointing out that Tyrus beat Pope fair and square. Austin is pretty fired up about this, but a representative of BLKJeez interrupts and wants five minutes of their time. Tyrus doesn’t appreciate being interrupted, so he’ll take it out on BLKJeez next week in the ring. Shocking that Tyrus would have a problem with black people.

Kenzie Paige v. Jennacide v. Melina

Not sure why Kenzie got inserted into this match but I’m glad to see she’s getting work because she had potential in AEW. Jenna attacks both women, but Melina tosses her and trades rollups with Kenzie for two. Melina tries a headscissors and Kenzie slams her for two, but Jenna comes back in with a short clothesline on Paige for two. Jenna with a Sharpshooter on Paige, but Melina breaks it up and tries a sleeper on Jenna. Jenna breaks free and charges Paige, but she hits the post and lands on the floor, and Melina rolls up Paige for the pin at 2:23. Energetic opener. 1 for 1. Kenzie should probably wear flesh colored tights under her gear, though. Less chance of accidents happening.

Kamille joins May Valentine, and she’s FURIOUS with Melina. Like, what has she even done in the NWA lately? NOTHING. Also her next opponent will be from “elsewhere”.

PJ Hawx & Sal Rinauro join us at the desk, as Sal puts over previous TV champions. But not Sam Houston. But then Colby Corino interrupts and he’s the IMAGE of his dad. So that makes me feel older than dirt. Sal: “I’m a big fan! Of your dad!” Colby calls him a big, dumb, ugly, OLD, goof and thinks he should get an automatic title shot because his dad was NWA champion. Yeah, that’s what wrestling needs, more nepotism. Colby continues talking shit like he’s on LetterKenny and challenges them to a triple threat match for the #1 contendership to the TV title, although Kyle Davis points out that it’s not really in their hands. Corino is quite the little douchebag already, kudos.

PJ Hawx v. Aron Stevens

They trade wristlocks to start and battle to a stalemate off that, but Stevens puts him down with a headbutt and a snap suplex gets two. And then La Rebelion runs in for the DQ at 3:10 before we can make it further. 1 for 2. PJ’s dad Luke Hawx makes the save and he gets laid out as well and Bestia uses THE MARK OF THE BEAST powerbomb on him. And then they head over and do a promo en espanol and the point is pretty clear about them wanting the titles.

Meanwhile, the mysterious masked man gets promo time, but Slice Boogie accuses him of finding the mask in a trashcan somewhere and talks some trash about him.

Thom Latimer & Chris Adonis discuss their chances in the National title tournament, although they’re facing each other in a three-way tonight, which would seem to lessen their chances. So they pretty much say that they’re gonna throw the match to each other and screw over Parrow, who is the third guy in the match. So that happens next week.

National title qualifier: JTG v. Fred Rosser v. El Rudo

I had no idea who this Rudo guy was, but it turns out that he’s a former WWE developmental prospect from 2009 who was trained by Corey Graves and went by the name Sam Adonis years ago, and then went to Mexico playing a pretty boy gimmick. Rudo tries to make an alliance with both other guys, but JTG and Rosser decide to team up on him instead. But then they turn on each other and Rosser evades a dropkick and splashes JTG. Rosser and Rudo head to the apron and tease a suplex from there, but JTG breaks it up and gets into another shoving match with Rosser. So Rudo ropewalks into a blockbuster on both guys in a cool spot and then slugs them both down. He pounds away on both guys, but JTG backdrops him to the floor to get rid of him. Rosser powerslams JTG for two, but Rudo saves. He hits JTG with an STO, and Rosser adds a neckbreaker for two. Rudo with a Snow Plow on JTG for two and he tosses Rosser, but JTG hits Rudo with a running Razor’s Edge into a falling neckbreaker for the pin at 7:17 to advance. That’s a hell of a finisher. 2 for 3.

A very fun show! And that’s all I’ve got to say this week, I guess.