Rants

WrestleCade 2021!!1

By Scott Keith on February 16, 2021

Okay so like…like hear me out here. Vince McMahon comes out to ring this night, sans trou. Much shame. Later in the night HHH/Shane/Stephanie and even Linda say Vince you're OUTTA HERE. But the problem is Vince had already scheduled the full WrestlingMania card. So on Smackdown it;'s revealed the MacMahon's have no choice but to bring in Eric Bischoff to save the day. Well guess what he says now that the contract has been signed, hey McMahon clan….you're OUTTA HERE and fires them all. WrestleMania will instead being STARRCADE presented by THE WCW BROTHER and I say brother because Easy E promises none other than Hulk Hogan returning?

Next raw motherfucking VINCE RUSSO comes out and says guess what Eric before Vince McMahon went insane he signed ME as the new Emperor of WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT so guess what Eric Bischoff you're OUTTA HERE. But Hulk Hogan comes out and says not so fast. Eric Bischoff already guaranteed we'd get Starrcade instead of WM. So Russo smiles and says we'll get WRESTLECADE instead. WWF VS. WCW ….FINALLY!!!!!

On Smackdown Roman and the Somoans are attacked by mysterious people. Everyone thinks it is nWo. But it turns out to be a bunch of current and classic JOSHI wrestlers. They take out everyone and run around the ring yelling “JOSHI”, “JOSHI” in a very chaotic, high pitched fashion. Hulk comes out WITH RUSSO and says yeah right guess what bitches Hulk Hogan and the WCW brother has merged with Russo's ATTITUDE ERA and we're doing things the new …OLD way and it's time to take out some JAP BROADS. So Hulkster goes out there and it's a goddamned slap-a-thon. Hogan just lays waste with a full on Hiroshima level of slaps, taking out JOSHI after JOSHI. Until he stands tall in the ring while a mix of Real American and the DX theme plays…HE'S JOINED DX!!!

WrestleCade card: John Cena vs. Roman vs. Hulk, Ric Flair vs. Russo for THE WATCH. nWoDX vs. WolfpacNexus, Joshi's vs. That really fat fuck from ECW….i think he wsa a part of the FBI at one point? The show ends with Sting in the raftors wearing an AEW shirt. He takes the mic and says hey….WWF….you're OUTTA HERE!!!1

Right, but when is the Miz supposed to cash in his briefcase? And what's Bad Bunny doing? You need to tighten up the booking a little bit if you want to succeed at this.

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