AWA Superstars – Mar. 13, 1988 (Rockers vs. Nasty Boys)

This might be the first lacking Rockers match, but we’ll see. In the cold open, we see the Nasty Boys stealing the mic from Lee Marshall to berate the crowd in the introduction from their match, then the Midnight Rockers coming out. Weird way of presenting the match.

Larry Nelson introduces the show as a St. Patrick’s Day special. Only four days off. At least they’re having a bit of fun in the waning days of this dying promotion.

From the Showboat, with Rod Trongard and Lee Marshall.

Bad Company vs. Tim Patterson and Greg Robertson

Diamond and Tanaka have the Brutus Beefcake gear. Tanaka feigns clean breaks on the ropes, then nails Patterson with a chop and dumps him, with Diamond getting some shots in. Back in, Diamond comes in with a big flying clothesline and hits his gourdbuster finisher. Tanaka comes in and misses a charge, allowing Robertson to come in. He immediately starts trying to outwrestle both guys, and you can tell Diamond is pissed off, so he wrestles for control. Tanaka is tagged in and they get their clumsy slingshot into a DDT finisher for the pin. I’m surprised Robertson didn’t get murdered for an extended amount of time, because he was wrestling for himself and doing EVERYTHING wrong.

Backstage interview with Wahoo McDaniel, who’s very impressed by Bad Company and the “holts” they use. He’s coming after Curt Hennig, and, er, it’s, er, 1988, and he’s going to do something that’s never been done before… Was Wahoo always this bad a talker?

Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie vs. Baron von Raschke

Joy(!). Adnan attacks before the bell with his turban. All the old guy shortcuts, like scratching and choking and pokes to the eyes. Combined age in this match: 97… seriously! At least when Jimmy Valiant and Paul Jones were doing this crap in the NWA they dressed it up with the cast of Spartacus and all the stipulations and goofy gimmicks they could think of. More entertaining than this match is my memory of Colt Cabana and CM Punk doing a shoot interview together one time where they recalled working on an independent show in Minnesota with Adnan where the promoter was really happy with himself because he’d lined up “Big Pimpin'” by Jay-Z as his entrance music because of the little Arabian bit at the beginning as well as trying to get him to come to the ring on a camel (“What do you want me to do?! Fall off and break my fucking hip?!”). The crowd are into the match, as bad as it is, chanting “CLAW!” like a giant parrot. Da Baron gets the claw, but Adnan walks out and runs off, then hits him with the magic tongue depressor for the DQ after several minutes non-action. Both of these guys are two of my least favourite wrestlers of all time with their lame repertoires.

Fan of the Week with Donna Gagne, answering the letters. Patricia Dayville of Erskine, Connecticut, has written in to ask if there’s been any thought put into having two referees for tag matches. The letter was later examined and confirmed to have been written in Gorilla Monsoon’s handwriting.

The Nasty Boys vs. The Midnight Rockers

The Nasty Boys stall to start, having that part of their routine down already. Lee describes Knobbs with the bizarre simile of “he’s as big as a phone booth”. But does he have hands like baseball mitts or frying pans? Do you have to see him in person to appreciate how big he is? That old trick was always a flawed premise to me, because I never saw a wrestler who I couldn’t say was impressive, but I’d already made that decision to go see them, not off on any hyperbole. Shawn and Marty bump here and there for Knobbs, then avoid charges from him and Sags while working the arm. All of these guys were buddies, but the Nasties just didn’t have enough naturally to keep up with the Rockers. When it’s Marty looking frustrated about them messing up spots and not Shawn you know something is up. Rod and Lee are about as entertained with this match as I am, talking about anything and everything they can think of to do with Minnesota sports. It’s been like ten minutes of moving and talking but nothing of consequence happening.

Knobbs eventually shakes things up with a knee to the back and a stiff clothesline. They work over Shawn in their corner. Sags at least has an interesting way of cheating during an abdominal stretch, biting the sides. He hits a nice clothesline too, although I remind myself that the majority of it is how Shawn sells it like being blasted with a shotgun. He ducks another and gets a superkick to get a break for a hot tag. Marty in with the usual. A cross body block gets two. It is interesting to watch these matches so close together to see the beats. Shawn takes Knobbs out and hits a pescado. Back in, and not actually the legal man, Knobbs walks into a cross body off the top from Marty and gets counted down for the pinfall. It was a flawed match given the inexperience level, but warmed up eventually. The Nasty Boys would get better… then worse.

Backstage interview with Greg Gagne, talking about how the Sheik tried to attack von Raschke’s hand with his foreign object and that he will be back. Soldat Ustinov offers the counterpoint on behalf of Adnan, doing his best (bad) impression of Ivan Koloff. Larry closes the show looking plastered… with shamrock stickers.

The Bottom Line: The worst of the shows I’ve watched yet. One more tomorrow to finish off the run.