Rants

First lessons at wrestling school

By Scott Keith on September 8, 2020

Scott,

After your comments in the Starrcade 89 review, I've got my 10 basic lessons for rookies at my wrestling school:
  1. Never turn your back to your opponent to argue with the referee about a 'slow' count.
  2. If a heel's manager suddenly jumps up onto the apron during the match, ignore him / her and focus on your opponent.
  3. Never climb to the top turnbuckle during a Battle Royale / Royal Rumble.
  4. If you throw Ricky Steamboat our of the ring, always make sure that he hasn't held onto the top rope.
  5. Never pick your opponent's shoulders up from the mat at the count of two to show off.
  6. Unless your name is Arn Anderson, never have Ric Flair as your tag team partner.
  7. When wrestling Rey Mysterio, never rest against the middle rope to catch your breath.
  8. Use scissors for the cutting of paper or masking tape, and no other purpose.
  9. Never try to powerbomb Billy Kidman.
  10. And, most importantly, if another wrestler's music starts, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TURN TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE RAMP.
Other additions to the curriculum are welcome.
Never point to your head to indicate your intelligence.
If you set up a table or elaborate weapons trap, make sure to use it RIGHT AWAY on your opponent and don’t just leave it there for later.
If Hulk Hogan is shaking and convulsing in anger, DON’T KEEP HITTING HIM.

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