We Need to Talk About Wavy
By Scott Keith on May 17, 2020
Scott,
It's no secret that the Blog of Doom is dying. A malfunctioning Wikipedia script is writing your news, the peakest hours are overrun by tiny Japanese women terrorizing Jim Cornette, and the mods have declared that all posts are to be made in the form of basketball
player lists.
So what happened? When did we go zo sawft? The BoD used to be a place where men were men and AEW fans were hunted for fun and profit, the oils from their pockmarked skin sold to Eastern European villages for fuel. But that all changed when the Wavy Nation was
held back.
I know you're a proud man and have been a leader in your industry for years. But so was Verne Gagne, and Verne's inability to adapt with the times is legendary. You just started Stranger Things, Scott, years after its relevance. In the future, will you still
be able to tell who has IT? Will you recognize what IT is? Will you still try to sell us on wrestling reviews when wrestlers are malnourished children being catapulted at each other like rubber carnival frogs?
You know what you have to do. Our blog descended into chaos and disrepute the moment you let him go. Now like some kindly sage he shares his wisdom with a colony of withered, scabrous gatekeepers. But at what cost to us? Without a man of such stern moral character,
who will ensure that AEW fans are safe grazing in their pasture? Without such a trendsetting visionary, who will find for us the next Enzo, or Carmella, or Trolls World Tour? Without a Local Internet Celebrity, who will draw our houses to the Daily Threads?
Please think on this Scott. Your table is laden with money, and it's buckling. Don't make Verne's mistake. Don't make the mistake Vince made when he let the 'Zo go. There's still time for us.
XOXO,
Not Wavy
Who the fuck is Wavy?
Comments are disable in preview.