Coronavirus trying to kill AEW?

It is I, Peter Hummer, your biggest fan. I hope you are doing well amidst all of the mass hysteria of the Coronavirus. Which brings me to the reason for my email today. Have you ever stopped to think about how the Coronavirus wasn't a thing until just a few weeks after AEW premiered on TNT?

They say it can be prevented by washing your hands, showering, and eating healthy, which are three things that AEW fans flat out refuse to do. The Liberal Media wants us to believe that the virus originated in Wuhan, China, but how can we be sure that Patient Zero wasn't the AEW fan who shit his pants at All Out last year? If he had a diet with more water and fiber, he would have had a normal, more solid poop instead of diarrhea, which would have allowed more fans to watch the show from that section of the arena in a germ free environment, as the poop remnants would never have had sex with Corona beer spilled on the arena floor and given birth to the Coronavirus.

WWE is the unopposed king of Sports Entertainment for 19 years, and the moment a competitor comes around, God unleashes a plague on the world. This wouldn't have happened if AEW had never been formed.

Think about it!

Peter Hummer

I like how you introduced yourself at the beginning of the email and then added your name at the end as well. Really reinforced your identity.