The SmarK Rant for RUTHLESS AGGRESSION – Episode 5

The SmarK Rant for Ruthless Aggression – Episode 5

“Civil War: Raw vs. Smackdown”

Oh man, time for the real dirt in this series! The untold hatred between the brands!

We get footage of Vince doing a speech for the troops, talking about “taking a half-step back” so they can move forward and make new stars. Still kinda waiting on that second part, to be honest.

So let us take you back to 2002, as WWE now is the place where fans can see all the dream matches they wanted years prior. Except without that yucky WCW stink all over it. But even though everything was still awesome and they were still on top of the world, they needed to change things up to keep things from being NOT awesome. Paul Heyman talks about how if you’re booking for tomorrow, you’re screwed, because you need to be looking ahead 18 months. Well I guess they’re super-duper screwed today then.

So despite how awesome and great everything was, Bruce Prichard talks about how they were concerned that they had so much potential top level talent that will never get an opportunity with only one roster and four lousy hours of television. Who could survive on that?

SOLUTION: The Brand Extension and Draft! People were skeptical about the brand extension and thought that people might not stick with their assigned brands all the time. But that’s crazy talk of course. So everyone became huge stars, but then we needed another shakeup, so Vince introduced Eric Bischoff as the new GM of RAW and they immediately hugged and killed off any potential for drawing money together. And also started a trope of authority figures that took nearly two decades to die off. Meanwhile, Stephanie goes to Smackdown and that was pretty terrible.

Brian Gewirtz admits that perhaps they screwed up in splitting up the rosters because RAW mostly got screwed on the talent side, so they traded Jericho and the UnAmericans to RAW for Eddie Guerrero to even things out. And then Brock took the Undisputed title to Smackdown, so HHH gets awarded the World heavyweight title. Despite all this, the general perception was that Smackdown was still the B-Show, shocking as that might sound. Heyman: “Smackdown was RAW’s bitch.”

This leads to a sort-of discussion of the Smackdown Six and how that show had more of the wrestling guys, like Rey, Eddie, Edge, Kurt Angle, Chavo and whoever the sixth guy was. Gewirtz sums it up as “It was great, you tell Eddie and Angle that they’re going 3 segments and suddenly a third of the show is written for you.” So apparently RAW was the “entertainment” show with all the wacky characters. Like stuttering Goldust and Booker T playing with a light saber, apparently.

Heyman talks about how he asked the announcers to take “potshots” at the RAW show, and then for a bit Smackdown pulled ahead in the ratings. We get footage of a fan meeting with Bischoff and complaining that RAW really sucks, so this leads to Steve Austin returning in 2003 and now apparently both shows were the A-Show in 2003. TV ratings were up! Live event grosses were up! Brand exclusive PPVs and tours were just the best thing ever! Man, why did they ever end this brand extension thing given that apparently we were in a new golden age?

But even though it was a new golden age and ratings were up and everyone was making tons of money, they had to continue making new stars with all the opportunities, so that was Eddie Guerrero. We get the clip of him winning the title yet again and everyone talks about how great he was. Which then leads into a discussion of JBL moving from tag team wrestler to Texas media mogul. Gewirtz points out that the audience basically went “Bradshaw? A main event guy?” but then he made it work.

Meanwhile on RAW, Randy Orton wins the World title from some guy and then dives out of a birthday cake to become a huge star. Plus Lita faced Trish in the first women’s main event on RAW. And then John Cena won the title and went to RAW, while Batista went to Smackdown. And then there more opportunities all over the place, like King Booker and Rey Mysterio, and there was tons of heated competition, but everyone was working together towards a common goal. What?

This was kind of a bullshit filler episode that was pretty much kayfabed start to finish, shocking I know. And apparently that’s it for the season!

Holy shit this series was bad. They could have done entire episodes about the Smackdown Six and Eddie Guerrero in general and Eric Bischoff and they just crammed it all into one 40 minute episode.

Coming next season sometime in the fall: The Elimination Chamber! Tough Enough! The Diva Search! Money in the Bank! OVW!