The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 01.07.20

The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 01.07.20

“Who’s the Third Man, Brother?”

OK, let’s do this.  But if there’s any racist jokes that get in for over a month, I’m OUTTA HERE.  And there’s gonna be some virtue signaling like you wouldn’t believe if that happens!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHhLQ9lM6kk

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Joe Galli & Stu “Bad News Barrett” Bennett

I like that they now show a detailed recap of the last couple of weeks in place of the Twitter comments and such of the pre-show last season.  So the NWA TV title tournament is afoot, with Royce Isaacs taking the place of Nick Aldis (who was just in the tournament for a laugh, to prove he could win both belts for fun) and getting beat by Tim Storm instead.

Tim Storm joins us to start, and Joe wants to chat about the TV title tournament.  Tim is intrigued by the setup, because there’s two mystery spots in the blind draw, and it could be anything!  Even a boat!  However, he’s upset because he drew Nick Aldis and the NWA fans didn’t get to see that match.  “HE’S A COWARD!” yells out some guy in the crowd.  Even then, Tim is classy and puts Nick over as the NWA champion and a great man.  But he still thinks the fans deserve to see the match.  How can you not love this man?  What a babyface!  Kamille interrupts and as usual doesn’t say anything, so Tim cuts a promo on her, asking what kind of a MAN no-shows a match.  “Who do you represent?” Tim asks.  “A COWARD!” yells out the guy in the crowd with impeccable timing.  So Kamille slaps my TV dad and he seethes about it, but he’s a good guy and isn’t gonna do anything about it.

Next week:  Zane Dawson faces brother Dave Dawson in the TV title tournament, which just leaves Trevor Murdoch against Tom Latimer.

TV title tournament:  Zicky Dice v. Kaleb Conley

OK, the 6:05 time limit in a TV tournament is pretty clever.  Conley controls with armdrags, but Dice yanks him down by the hair.  So Conley grabs a small package for two.  Dice dodges a leapfrog and gyrates for the crowd, but Conley dropkicks him out of the ring and Dice takes a breather.  Back in, Conley chops away in the corner and takes him down with a flying headscissors and a senton for two.  So, Dice is trying for the 2020 version Rip Rogers, I’m assuming?  But with more tats.  Dice takes over with a Snake Eyes, but misses a cannonball and Conley goes up with a moonsault.  NO WATER IN THE POOL and Dice finishes with the neckbreaker at 4:22 to advance to the finals.  This was certainly entertaining.  **1/2

Meanwhile, Joe Galli sits down with “Shooter” Aron Stevens (who has now morphed into Steven Seagal) and his sensei, the Question Mark.  The National title is now the Third Degree National title, and Stevens now has a bond forged in COMBAT, Mongrovian Karate to be exact, with Question Mark.  And soon they’ll be tag team champions.  Joe wonders when he’s actually going to defend the National title he won at the PPV, but sadly Aron is getting the signal to wrap up the interview and doesn’t have time to answer now.

Thunder Rosa v. ODB

ODB is starting to look like a British comedian in drag at this point.  Well, you could never describe her as “glamorous” before, that’s for sure.  Rosa works the arm, but ODB throws knees to break free and beats on her in the corner.  They slug it out and ODB puts her down with a clothesline, but Rosa gets her on the ropes and boots her down.  They slug it out on the mat and ODB misses a blind charge, and Rosa dropkicks her from behind and gets a chinlock.  They slug it out again and Rosa goes up for a bodypress, but lands in a fallaway slam from ODB.  ODB goes up and misses a splash and Rosa gets a low dropkick for two.  Rosa throws kicks on her, but ODB fights her off, so Rosa goes up and hits the double stomp to the back for the pin at 5:48.  I wouldn’t call it, like, technically great or anything but they were working hard and beating on each other pretty good.  **1/2

Meanwhile, the Rock N Roll Express are running a hotline if you need relationship advice about your baby mama.  1-800-ROCK-ROLL!

Nick Aldis joins Joe and the crowd decides to taunt him with chants of “Coward”, which he doesn’t appreciate.  Joe literally has a stack of questions, all printed out on paper.  But Aldis is all about Strictly Business, his new team.  Also, those who suggest that he couldn’t get the job done in 6 minutes don’t know about his prowess in the bedroom, where he goes all night long.  Well, then he’d be eliminated from the tournament anyway because it would be a draw.  So tonight he’s working with Ricky Starks, because he’s the Oprah of wrestling, making people left and right.  Or, in words that the Atlanta audience can understand, he’s the Tyler Perry of wrestling.

Jan 24:  NWA Hard Times!  Eh, it was like $15 on Fite.TV, I ordered it.

Ricky Starks v. Nick Aldis

So this is 6:05 time limit, just so Nick can prove his point about not being able to win matches in the TV title tournament.  Starks grabs a headlock and dropkicks Aldis into the corner, and into a rollup for two.  Nick catches him with a slam and follows with a delayed suplex, then clotheslines him down for two.  Fallaway slam gets two and Aldis gets a chinlock to calmly retain control, but Starks fights back with chops and a sling blade.  Starks with a tornado DDT, but Aldis lands on his feet, so Ricky gets a missile dropkick for two.  Aldis bails and Starks hits him with a suicide dive.  Back in, he tweaks his knee on the way in and Aldis tries to finish, but Starks escapes and tries his own finisher.  Aldis takes him down and puts him in the cloverleaf with a minute left, but Starks fights up and crawls for the ropes and time expires at 6:05.  Stu Bennett is DISGUSTED by this decision, because obviously Aldis had the man beaten with his unbreakable move and this is a technicality that should not stand.  So then Ricky Morton comes out and demands FIVE MORE MINUTES on behalf of his fellow Ricky.  But in a different twist on the gimmick, Aldis refuses because he’s not a charity.  So Morton has another offer:  Give HIM five minutes instead.  Aldis shoots that one down as well, and the crowd thinks this makes him an even bigger coward.  Sure, AEW just did a similar gimmick with Jericho and Jungle Boy, but the classics always work.  ***

Colt Cabana & Mr. Anderson v. Eli Drake & James Storm v. The Wild Cards

The Wild Cards fail to show up, so the ref just tells the others to start without them.  The deal is that Anderson is still a heel, but Cabana is trying to make him into a better person.  Colt and Drake trade headlocks to start and Drake drops the Steve Austin elbow for two.  Man, Drake is not being particularly subtle about stealing from Stunning Steve, is he?  Anderson comes in and slugs away on Drake, but Eli hits a clothesline and Storm comes in with a double elbow for two.  Anderson takes him down by the hair and Colt comes in for the double-team in the corner before Ken goes to the chinlock.  Storm escapes and it’s back to Drake, who drops an elbow for two, but gets trapped in the babyface corner and double-teamed for two.  Drake fights back with a flying knee off the middle rope, but Storm gets knocked to the floor and taken out.  Colt gets the superman pin for two, but Anderson freaks out and shoves the ref, drawing the DQ at 6:15.  **1/4

Nick Aldis and his crew return for another interview, and he’s the one who pulled the Wild Cards out of the main event because he decided that it wasn’t in their best interests to be in the match.  So he invites the Rock N Roll Express out for a chat, and he’s pretty sure that their deal is going to result in some physicality to settle things.  So it’s Team RNR v. Team Aldis in a six-man, and if Morton’s team wins, then Ricky gets a shot at the World title.  Ricky accuses the other guys on Aldis’s side of being STOOGES, like they used to call them back in the day, and he accepts.  But Nick doesn’t want Ricky or himself to be in the match, so he’s got a replacement via independent contracting.  And in this case, it’s Scott Steiner.  Well at least HE would never say anything controversial or offensive on a live show.

Man, I missed this show and I’m glad to have it back in my life again.