BEYOND Heavy Lies the Crown 2019-20

Hello, all, it’s your independent wrestling reporter Andy PG checking in. One of my resolutions was to watch more indie wrestling, so let’s kick the year off right by watching the year-end celebration from Beyond. This year’s show is called Heavy Lies the Crown and, as with previous years, is headlined by an IWTV Championship defense. As Thomas Hall would say, let’s get to it.

As always, I shill independentwrestling.tv and tell you to use a code like, say, BEYOND to get 20 free days. Dozens of indie promotions all for the same cost as the WWE Network. Worth the investment.

Side note: you will NOT see any star ratings on this show. As someone whose goal is to wrestle in the near future, I’ve been advised by multiple people that giving critiques and stuff on matches is very much frowned upon in public. It makes perfect sense. Besides, if my play-by-play doesn’t let you know whether you want to watch or not, a few ASCII characters and a one-sentence blurb won’t change your mind. And here we go!

The PG Era Rant for Heavy Lies The Crown, show date December 31, 2019.

From Worcester, MA. Think of this as the PPV that Uncharted Territory has been building towards.

Your hosts are Paul Crockett and “Smart” Mark Sterling.

Pre-Show Match: “Top Dog” Davienne v. “The Queen of Crazy” Addy Starr. This is Davienne issuing an open challenge, and Starr accepting it. Davienne jumps Starr during intros, but she misses an avalanche and Starr unloads with forearms and a running knee smash. Davienne covers up on a second running knee, so Starr just kicks her, getting one. Sliding lariat is reversed by Davenne to a crucifix for two, and then Davienne turns Starr inside out with a lariat of her own for two. Davienne with a suplex and she mocks Starr. Armbar by Davienne, and she lets go to add some forearms. Blind charges back and forth, and Starr gets the better of it, but the Sasha Banks double knee misses.

Davienne with a sliding dropkick sends Starr into the post on the inside, and Davienne gets two off of it. Piledriver try, but Starr lifts Davienne into the turnbuckles where she falls into the Tree of Woe. Facewash by Starr follows, then a series of axe kicks. Double Arm DDT try by Starr, but Davienne reverses to the Celtic Cross for two. Starr blocks a cradle fisherman’s buster, landing a pair of headbutts and the sliding elbow, getting a surprise pin at 4:57.

Time for the main show. Your ring announcer is Rich Palladino, and your referees are Stephen Dumeng and Kevin Quinn.

Opening match: Wheeler YUTA v. “The Savageweight” Fred Yehi. I have seen both of these men in the Virginia indies, so I’m ready for this to be a good one. Yuta pinned Yehi in a tag match on Uncharted Territory, and the two brawled to the back, so here we are. Yuta grabs the arm to start, with Yehi picking the leg and stomping the back. Yuta does a single-leg trip and controls the heel, so Yehi counters with a front neck twist into a headlock takedown for a one count. Waistlock from Yehi, with Yuta reversing to a hammerlock, then a grounded armlock. Yehi goes to the ear to break and gets a suplex with floatover for one.

Yehi with a huge chop, and Yuta responds. Yehi goes low and gets a back elbow to regain control. Another chop by Yehi, and again Yuta replies only to walk into a slam and another stomp to the gut. Yehi tries a suplex, but Yuta swings out, slaps the taste out of Yehi, and after a series of reversals gets a dropkick to send Yehi to the floor. Baseball slide by Yuta airballs, so Yuta recovers into a superkick on the floor instead. Back in, Yehi goes to the eyes and sticks Yuta’s arm into the hollow ring post before hammering away on it. Yuta gets knocked out of the ring, and Yehi… doesn’t flip out of the ring, but recovers in enough time to catch Yuta with a suplex on the floor. Commentary covers for it by saying the top rope is higher in Beyond than in most rings.

Yuta crawls back in, only to be stomped on, followed by some seated sentons. Yuta tries to headbutt out, so Yehi goes to the nostrils and informs referee Quinn he has til five. Yuta tries to fight back, so Yehi chops him down for two. Yehi with the neck crank, into a chinlock. Yuta fights out, only to get caught in an amateur-style belly to belly slam. Yehi rakes his forearm across Yuta’s face before punching his kidneys with the top mount. Yehi into the nerve pinch, but Yuta quickly tries a slam only to get rushed into the corner. Yehi works the gut in the corner, but a blind charge misses and Yuta with a shotgun dropkick on Yehi into the post.

Yuta misses an enzuigiri to follow up, and Yehi rolls into a Koji Clutch. Yuta breaks and gets a Manhattan Drop, and now the enzuigiri connects. Yehi bails, and Yuta nails a tope suicida. Yuta goes up top back in, and a missile dropkick leads to a Yuta kip-up. Running elbow in the corner, but a Tornado DDT is countered to a small package for two. A forearm battle breaks out, and it ends in a double down. Yehi with the goozle, but Yuta nails a judo throw. This time the Tornado DDT connects for two. Yuta with the STF, but Yehi bites the hand to get a break. He keeps biting even from a standing position, and a shotgun dropkick leads to a brainbuster for two…. so Yehi tries a Koji Clutch out of the pin. Yuta stacks him for two, Yehi with a shotgun dropkick, but Yuta jack-knifes the pin to steal the victory at 10:52.

No disqualification: Slade v. “The King” Nick Gage. Slade holds the Discovery Gauntlet, and as such gets a match of his choice. He chose Nick Gage, and this match is No DQ because of course it is. Slade drags Gage out of the ring as we start hot, but Gage throws him in and provides some chairs. He sets them up, and they sit in the chairs and strike each other a bunch. Gage stands up and pummels Slade before throwing the chair into his head. It’s okay, he got his arms up. Gage pus a chair in front of Slade, who is seated in the corner, but Slade tosses Gage the chair and does a flying body attack. Now a door enters the ring via Slade.

Gage sends Slade into the door, but Slade slams on the brakes before hitting forearms and giving Gage an Exploder through the door. Slade sets up two chairs and prepares to dump Gage on them, but Gage gets out the back and suplexes him onto the chairs. Gage rips the (very hollow) door apart and smashes part of it over Slade, and now the two take turns splintering the door over each other’s heads. Strikefest follows, and Gage wins with the Chokebreaker for two. Gage asks the fans to fish something else out from underneath – and it’s another door.

Gage puts the door across the two chairs (bullying Dumeng to helping him), and Gage goes up top. He picks Slade up with a fish-hook, and they fight on the top rope. Slade wins that fight, and it’s a superplex through the door. Slade crawls over for two. Both men stagger up, and Slade clears the debris only to run into a spinebuster and a second Chokebreaker for another two. Piledriver and powerbomb finish Slade at 7:25. Gage thanks the fans after the match.

Nobody show this match to Thomas and we’ll be good, agreed?

IWTV Championship Match: “Warhorse” Jake Parnell (champion, 102 days, 21^st defense) v. “The Cornbelt Cowboy” “The One Called” Manders (challenger). So these two were teammates in a Survivor Series match on Thanksgiving and were the only two survivors. Warhorse said no one wanted to challenge him to his face, which led Manders to lariat him. That would be a challenge, and here we are. Parnell ducks an early lariat and chops away, but Manders shoves him and gets an avalanche and press slam. Parnell no-sells it and slaps away on Manders into a Saito suplex, and Manders no-sells that. Parnell no-sells a turnbuckles shot and a chop, then fires the strikes into a discus clothesline – and Manders finally sells.

Parnell works over Manders in the corner, adding a spear and Northern Lights suplex for two. Parnell goes up top, but Manders shakes the ropes to trip him. Manders suplexes him back in, holding the vertical for about 10 seconds and getting two. Manders with a straitjacket chinlock, clutching both wrists. Parnell fights to his feet only to get kicked in the gut. Hammer throw, but football tackles hit the knees in the corner. Parnell up top with a missile dropkick for one. Manders catches a boot into a cradle fallaway slam for two. Manders works Parnell over in the corner, adding a chop and going to a camel clutch.

Parnell fights out with a jawbreaker but runs into an Anderson spinebuster for two. He calls for the Lariat, but Parnell catches him coming by and nails rolling Germans. Heartbreak elbow follows for two. He wants another one, but Manders follows him up with an overhead superplex. Gutwrench bomb for two. Manders taunts Parnell, then gives him the Mongolian chop. Oklahoma Stampede try, but Parnell sends him into the corner only to get sent in himself. Press slam into Snake Eyes, into the lariat for two.

Manders with right jabs, but Parnell with a quick dropkick only to run into a powerslam, no cover. Both men pick each other up, and it’s a chop battle. Manders eventually wins it and puts Parnell up top, following him up. Parnell fights back with headbutts to send Manders down, and the double stomp follows to retain at 10:42.

However, before Parnell can celebratre, out comes David Starr, who had laid out a challenge on an earlier episode of Uncharted Territory. The two referees separate them quickly as we just get a war of words.

“The Cream In Your Coffee” “Your Favorite Wrestler’s Favorite Wrestler” “The Jewish Canon” “The Physical Embodiment of Charisma” “The Most Entertaining Man in Professional Wrestling” “The Bernie Sanders of Professional Wrestling” “The Best of the Best” “Mr. Americanrana” “Davey Wrestling” “The 104 Minute Man” “The Main Event” “He’s Really Good At Twitter” “He’s Independent” “The King of Taunts” “The Product” David Starr v. Erick Stevens. Yes, Starr had all those nicknames in his introduction; it’s his thing.

Long lockup, with Stevens getting a ride only for Starr slide out into a heel hook. Stevens rolls out and we get a stalemate. Another wrestling sequence, and Starr gets the leg again with a spinning toe hold into a side figure-four, but Stevens chops out. Starr works a top wristlock and pressures the arm on the mat before picking him up into a front hammerlock as Stevens goes to the ropes. They get into a scuffle in the corner as tempers begin to rise. More feeling out, and Starr with a half-nelson waistlock into an amateur throwdown.

Stevens with a spinebuster and he takes the mount, just mocking Starr with slaps. Starr reverses only to almost walk into a triangle choke as they tumble into the ropes. Starr with a cravat on next lockup, adding the knees, but a criss-cross leads to more reversals and an uppercut arm bind. Stevens headbutts Starr down to gain control and draw blood. Stevens pounds away on the hardway cut, chopping Starr to the mat. Snapmare and elbows by Stevens, and he forearms the cut. Starr with some desperation strikes backing Stevens into the corner, but Stevens reverses and fires off.

Stevens tries to rip open the cut, but Starr gutwrenches into a right cross for two. Starr fires off on Stevens in the corner, adding a tumble into a low crossbody. He shoots the half and gets a one count. Starr to the chinlock. Stevens pries the hands apart and stomps on Starr’s right hand, pummeling him and getting a powerslam for two with Starr in the ropes. Stevens stays on top, adding a butterfly slam into a cross armbreaker try, but Starr’s in the ropes again.

Backbreaker by Stevens gets one. Starr and Stevens trade forearms, and Stevens seems to win, but Starr with a double-leg. Sharpshooter try, but Stevens blocks and makes the ropes. Starr charges and is monkeyflipped out of the ring. Stevens follows but gets uppercut and given a DDT on the apron, and back in, Starr with the Heartbreak Elbow for two. Commentary wonders if that’s a message to Parnell. Starr tries a piledriver, but Stevens trips him and looks for a Cloverleaf. Starr kicks out of it and works Stevens over in the corner.

Starr puts Stevens on the top after some struggle and follows, but Stevens with a headbutt on the cut to stagger Starr. Big clothesline off the ropes and End of Heartache into a Tiger Bomb gets two. Stevens goes for a Boston Crab, but we’re in Worcester so Starr makes the ropes. Stevens takes a slap and gives a big boot to knock Starr out of the ring. Stevens dives on to Starr before slamming him onto the apron. Starr catches Stevens coming back in with a Complete Shot and Stevens is loopy on the apron. Now Starr hits the dive on Stevens.

Back in, both men crawl to each other and exchange rights. They stand up, still striking, and Starr’s chops seem to hit harder. Now it’s forearm exchanges, with Stevens hitting the Judan Effect only for Starr to cartwheel out of a lariat and get a back elbow of his own. Stevens headbutts to block a clothesline, and another End of Heartache gets two. Walls of Jericho follows, and after being pulled from the ropes the first time, Starr spins out of it and kicks Stevens. Starr cradles Stevens for two and gets a superkick, but Stevens with a powerslam of Starr into the ropes. Tiger Bomb is reversed to a Yoshi Tonic, but Stevens with a back elbow to cut off a lariat.

More forearms from Stevens, but Starr blocks a suplex and gets an ushigoroshi. Starr with a lariat out of a German suplex and both men are down. Both men hit forearms at the same time as they’re on wobbly legs. More double forearms, but Starr with a rolling elbow. Stevens rebounds to a lariat and uranage as Starr flops into the turnbuckle. Clothesline and Stevens puts Starr up top, only for Starr to reverse to an ushigoroshi off the top. Somehow it gets two. Lariat gets one as Stevens powers up, but another lariat follows, then a piledriver for two. Yet another lariat try, but Stevens with a backslide for two. Superkick and lariat by Starr, then an inside-out lariat finally ends it for Starr at 20:23. Starr allows Stevens have the ring after the match.

The Legit Legends (“Cold Steel” Chuck O’Neil, “The Bone Collector” Dominic Garrini, and “True Til Death” Kevin Ku) w/Larry Legend v. Team Pazuzu (“The Dirty Daddy” Chris Dickinson, “El Presidente” Pinkie Sanchez, and “The Nasty Savage” Jaka). So here’s the deal: O’Neil ended Dickinson’s winning streak with the help of new manager Legend. Dickinson had the help of Team Pazuzu members Sanchez and Danhausen, but then Violence is Forever (Garrini/Ku) sent Danhausen packing. Short one man, Dickinson called on his old Doom Patrol tag team partner Jaka, and so now it’s team warfare. Legend introduces his men.

Pier Six to start, to no surprise. Jaka and O’Neill roll out, with Ku and Dickinson following. In the ring, Garrini catches a Sanchez boot, but Sanchez ties him up in an Octoups only for Garrini to fight out. Sunset flip by Sanchez gets two. Garrini slaps Sanchez hard only for Sanchez to elbow out of a waistlock and get a Sliced Bread and Asai Moonsault. Sanchez goes after Legend, allowing Garrini to slug down Sanchez and get a lariat/German combo with Ku. Ku tags in, and he gets a hammerlock on Sanchez and finger manipulation for two.

O’Neill in, and he slaps around Sanchez before landing a suplex. He kicks away the Doom Patrol, which gets everyone in the ring. Triple-teaming on Sanchez, and Garrini in with a backbreaker hold. Sanchez with a clawhold to try to break, but Garrini with a judo throw and headlock. O’Neill in, and he gets a soccer kick to Sanchez’s back for two. European uppercut, and Ku gets a backbreaker on his shoulder for two, into an armbar. Ku with a butterfly suplex into an armbar, but Jaka breaks. Garrini ties Sanchez up in the corner, allowing Ku a shot to the gut. Spinebuster by Ku, but Sanchez avoids a powerbomb and it’s hot tag Dickinson.

He goes on a series of corner forearms, ending with a Death Valley Driver attempt only for Legend to trip him. Dickinson goes after Legend, so O’Neill gives him a German suplex and tosses Jaka. Dickinson gets Hammer Thrown into the corner, and Garrini with a kneedrop. He adds a forearm to the back to control Dickinson, and Ku enters with a stealth low blow before drawing Jaka in. More triple-teaming in the corner follows, and Garrini enters with a kick to the hamstring and back suplex for two. Kneebar by Garrini, but Dickinson chops out of it. Ku cuts off the tag, and Garrini tags in O’Neill for chops in the corner.

O’Neill with a suplex for two. Ku in with kicks to the back and an Atlantis Stretch. Dickinson fights out only to get sunset flipped for two. Ku with a knee kick, and O’Neill in with a soccer kick to the gut. Dickinson asks for more, and O’Neill obliges until Dickinson blocks one and fires back with an enzuigiri. Hot tag #2 to Jaka, and he clears the corner before getting a koppo kick in the corner and an exploder suplex.

Jaka goes up top, but dives onto Violence Is Forever instead. Back up top, he scares off Legend only to be caught by O’Neill. Both men slip on the top turnbuckle until (eventually) Jaka gets a crossbody for two. Dickinson back in, and Doom Patrol whips Sanchez into O’Neill, with Jaka following with an avalanche and Dickinson with a forearm. Dickinson whips O’Neill into a superkick, and Dickinson with a German, but everyone saves and all six men are down. Garrini hits Ku on a forearm by mistake, and Sanchez superkicks Ku, but Garrini hangs Sanchez on the top rope.

Jaka chops away on both Ku and Garrini, but gets caught into a Snapdragon by Ku. Dickinson takes over with roundhouse kicks, only to get kicked by Ku and Garrini into a double forearm. O’Neill gets two off of it, and then applies the rear naked choke. Garrini cuts off Jaka with one of his own, but Sanchez gets a Burning Hammer on Ku onto both chokeholds. Jaka/Garrini and Ku/Sanchez do some strike battles, with VIF getting the better of it, only to be dumped to the floor. Jaka and Sanchez with stereo dives, leaving Dickinson and O’Neill.

O’Neill with a corner clothesline, but Dickinson answers and tries the DVD again only to be his with a flying knee and Taka Driver for one as Dickinson hulks up. Forearms fly left and right, with both men smashing themselves dead until O’Neill gets a high kick. But Jaka and Sanchez are back with roundhouse kicks of their own, and it’s Jaka and Dickinson with a Doomasday Chokeslam to pin O’Neill at 16:12. They rip O’Neill’s kneepad off – it’s a Team Pazuzu kneepad he stole from Danhausen – then Jaka throws Larry Legend into the ring. Sanchez steals Larry’s glasses (just to be fair) before decking him out, and he adds a double stomp off the top rope. So there.

Intermission.

“Red Death” Daniel Garcia v. “The Patron Saint” Brandon Thurston. Thurston taught Garcia, and both men are part of the Buffalo contingent. Thurston is the only heel of the Buffalo Boys, though, having injured Jay Freddie on an earlier episode of Uncharted Territory. Garcia goes to a quick mount and holds a front facelock like he’s riding a bucking bronco. Thurston slides out and the two start hitting German suplexes on each other. They begin exchanging forearms like crazy, with Thurston getting the better of it and following with an enzuigiri.

Garcia with a German, responded in kind by Thurston, and a double crossbody has both men down. Garcia hooks the front facelock, but Thurston blocks a suplex and pounds away. A big kick just wakes Garcia up, and he delivers a clothesline. Suplex connects this time, into the Three Amigos, but Thurston stops the third with a rolling elbow. Garcia chops Thurston off the top rope in a mirror of Freddie’s injury, but Thurston stops himself only to be suplexed on the floor by Garcia. Back in, it gets two.

Garcia adjusts his kneepads before trying a piledriver, but Thurston with a double-leg and jack-knife. Garcia bridges out into a backslide, but Thurston reverses and kicks Garcia. Running knee and Blu-Ray in the corner gets two. Thurston with a chickenwing and he absorbs some kicks before staying on top with a corner chop. He tries for a running start only to turn around into a shotgun dropkick. Garcia rolls Thurston through and gets a Saito suplex into a running knee for two. He kicks at the back of Thurston’s knee and goes for a Crab, but Thurston cradles him through and nails an enzuigiri only to run into a lariat.

Garcia runs into a receipt from Thurston, then puts Garcia down with another one. Thurston slaps away at Garcia, which only gets him to beg for more. Thurston slaps Garcia and the two exchange punches until Garcia gets a headbutt. Hockey fight in the middle, which Thurston wins, adding a kneelift. Garcia is dazed, but he pops up with shots and a bucklebomb into an exploder in the corner. Blu-Ray follows, then a stack powerbomb for two. Sharpshooter, but Thurston rolls Garcia over and breaks before kicking at Garcia’s head. Thurston with another enzuigiri, then another, but Garcia slugs down the leg on a third attempt. Garcia comes up short on a running punch, and Thurston with a brainbuster to win at 10:23.

“Top Talent” Christian Casanova v. Tony Deppen. Casanova is the 2019 Tournament For Tomorrow winner, and he called out Deppen for this match as a challenge. Casanova refuses a test of strength from Deppen. Deppen with a waistlock, but Casanova picks the heel. Deppen fights out and gets a bulldog headlock, with Casanova switching to a hammerlock, but Deppen swings around and gets one of his own. Casanova breaks out. Casanova takes Deppen down in a front facelock, which Deppen reverses and we get an International spot, with Deppen blocking the leapfrog into a headlock takedown. Casanova accidentally lands on Deppen’s head on a leapfrog, and after checking on him, Deppen flips over Casanova’s back and they do a cruiserweight sequence with Casanova dodging everything.

Casanova with a bunch of armdrags, ending with a dropkick that sends Deppen to the outside. Back in, and some lucha moves allows Deppen to take over with a kneelift and shotgun dropkick. It gets two. Snapmare by Deppen and he tries to get a stump puller, succeeding after some struggle. Deppen with crossface blows when his grip slips, getting one. Deppen soccer kicks Casanova, but he taunts him and Casanova with chops in the corner. Hammer Throw by Deppen into a Russian legsweep for two. Deppen again taunts Casanova, getting himself slapped for his trouble.

Deppen slaps back and we have a chopfest. Casanova boxes Deppen into the corner (and if this were boxing, the ref would stop the fight), but Deppen stops a charge and rolls Casanova through into a slap. Deppen puts Casanova in the corner and chops him hard, but Casanova springboards off the middle rope into a clothesline. More clotheslines follow as the comeback is on. Rolling mare into a butterfly slam gets two. Deppen catches Casanova coming in with an elbow, but Casanova hangs Deppen up with an enzuigiri. Guillotine legdrop gets two.

Casanova fakes an axe kick, into a superkick and running knee. Lifting cutter gets two, and Casanova’s at a loss for ideas. Deppen flips out of a back suplex and catches Casanova with a flying knee. Deppen blows his nose at Casanova, then a brainbuster gets two. Deppen drags Casanova to the corner and goes up, but Casanova kicks Deppen to the apron and does a slingshot apron DDT. Back in, Casanova goes up top, but the diving Famouser misses and Deppen nails a double stomp. Deppen clotheslines Casanova on the apron, then goes back in and dives onto Casanova with a somersault hilo. Death By Elbow gets two. Deppen goes back up, but Casanova meets him and they fight. Deppen slides through Casanova to fold him up and gets a knee and flapjack. Superkick follows. Back suplex by Casanova out of nowhere, and this time the diving Ax Kick connects for the pin at 15:00.

“Retro A.G.” Anthony Greene v. “The Bitch Destroyer” Josh Briggs (Special Referee: “Platinum Hunny” Ava Everett). So here’s the story: these three were very good friends. Greene and Briggs entered the Tournament for Tomorrow and promised each other to meet in the finals. Well, Greene lost in the first round, so he cost Briggs his first-round match. Everett’s attempts at peacemaking didn’t work, as the two attacked each other backstage repeatedly. Greene challenged Briggs for this show, Briggs accepted, and poor Everett is stuck in the middle as referee.

Greene throws his jacket at Briggs while Everett is checking the boots, so Briggs kicks Greene down and slams him. Big beal from corner to corner, and a backbreaker into a sidewalk slam and pump splash for nothing as he pounds away. Greene bails to the apron, but Briggs boots him to the floor. Greene hides under the ring, Briggs looks for him, and Greene emerges from the other side and dives onto Briggs. Back in, Greene gets caught on a leapfrog. Briggs charges him, and Greene jumps up and over and tweaks his leg some more. Everett asks for space from Briggs as she checks the leg. Greene tries to put weight on the leg as Briggs looks at it, allowing Greene a kneelift and DDT for two as the leg is just fine, thank you.

Shin choke by Greene, but Briggs is furious now and tackles him in the corner. Goozle, but Greene with a big right to bust out, then a superkick for two. Greene stomps away on Briggs, getting a swinging neckbreaker and kipping up. Briggs has had enough and slaps Greene silly, putting him on the top rope. Briggs hooks a superplex, but Greene holds on and knocks Briggs off the apron. Crossbody by Greene, but Briggs rolls through and splashes only to hit Greene’s knees. Greene with a chop and he gets in Everett’s face. He stomps on Briggs again, then adds a straight right before choking him in the corner.

Shotgun dropkick by Greene and Briggs is hung up on the bottom rope. Greene continues to hit the right on Briggs, but this time it just gets Briggs’ attention and he unloads with forearms. Enzuigiri by Greene stops it, but Briggs runs through a clothesline and gets one of his own, Taker-style. Running uppercut and running boot in the corner, then a Deep Six backbreaker into a butterfly backbreaker for two. Briggs adjusts his jaw from the right hands before signalling for a chokeslam. Greene fights out and tries a piledriver, but Briggs launches him with a backdrop. Greene catches Briggs with a drop toehold, and a back suplex facebuster gets two. Greene goes for an armlock into a cradle for two, into a single-leg crab. Briggs makes the ropes.

Greene won’t break, so Everett snapmares him off of Briggs. Greene goes to superkick Everett, but thankfully hits Briggs instead. Now Everett and Greene argue furiously, allowing Briggs a Go To Hell for a very fast count. It’s still two. Goozle time, but Greene reverses to a cradle for… nothing, because Everett won’t count. She pushes Briggs on top for two. Chokeslam try, but Greene with a low blow. Everett has had enough and almost calls for the bell, but Greene stops her. Everett tries to superkick Greene, but she hits Briggs instead.

Piledriver gets a delayed two. Greene stops himself from attacking Everett, then goes outside and gets a chair. Everett pleads with him to stop, and Greene hesitates, listening to his mutual friend. The two combatants embrace, but Greene tries for the chairshot anyway. Briggs stops it with a low blow, and the Chokebomb ends it at 14:27.

After the match, Greene has the mic and tells Everett he’s sorry. Everett and Greene have always been together… but not tonight for some reason. When Greene needed Everett the most, Everett went against him. So that’s it, Greene is through with her. Everett doesn’t seem too upset by this.

“The Galaxy’s Greatest Alien” Kris Statlander v. “The Meat Man” “Raw Dog” John Silver. So this is why Statlander is missing Dynamite – obligations in New England with this show and another tomorrow. The two have way too much fun with the streamers pre-match. And on top of that, Silver does Statlander’s pose during his intro. Commentary mentions these two are very good friends. Long lockup goes all around the ring to every corner and ends in a hug. Silver with a waistlock and rides her down into a hammerlock, then a wristlock. Statlander with a textbook reversal and she forces him to the mat. Silver with a fireman’s carry and his own wristlock as Statlander makes the ropes.

Test of strength follows, which goes back and forth, both people threatening to make the other do a bridge. Statlander gets Silver down first, and Silver retreats to the corner. Silver with a headlock and we get the International spot into a Silver cartwheel and nose boop. Back to the side headlock by Silver, but Statlander tries an O’Connor Roll. Silver with a headscissors, and Statlander cartwheels out of it. A lot. That ends in a spin and a nose boop of her own. Statlander then puts Silver’s fingers in his ears, and Silver charges into a back body drop. Silver clothesline Statlander and stomps on her on the apron, getting two.

Silver with a Yes Kick for two. Silver with a ton of forearms and a beal across the ring. Another forearm, but Statlander slugs back and we get a strikefest. Statlander wins that and chops away in the corner. Silver with a pair of roundhouse kicks out of nowhere for two. Silver with a throw suplex and he checks his nose for blood. Statlander fires off forearms on Silver, but a kick cuts her off. Another Yes Kick gets two. Silver cuts off another flurry, but Statlander with the Matrix and an enzuigiri. Running elbow and running knee in the corner, then Silver with a brainbuster to cut Statlander off. Silver goes up top, but Statlander follows with an avalanche back suplex.

Blind charge misses, and Silver with a German suplex and fancy backbreaker for two. Silver throws a forearm to Statlander, then Yes Kicks in the corner until the referee has to separate them. That allows Statlander a spear, but she walks into a superkick only for him to walk into a lariat and I Am Your Leader (electric chair facedrop). Axe kick gets two. Discus forearm attempt, but Silver catches it into a straitjacket crossface. He adds elbows to the back of the head, then knees to the head, while maintaining the hold, but Statlander eventually powers up and gets a Big Bang Theory try. Silver cradles for two.

Blind charge eats boot, but Silver recovers and they go up top. Statlander catches Silver up top, but Silver slides out of a Tombstone try and Silver lawn darts Statlander across the ring. Facewash, but Statlander with a Juvi Driver out of nowhere for two. They slug it out on their knees, getting to their feet, and Statlander with a roundhouse but Silver with an enzuigiri comeback. Statlander tries a backslide, but Silver rolls through and gets Yes Kicks and a poison rana. Statlander pops up with a roundhouse only to get tripped on the middle rope. Austin straddle and Spin Doctor gets two. Silver runs into a superkick, and Statlander with a powerbomb. She goes up top, and Area Four-51 hits the knees. Silver cradles off of it for the pin at 16:43. The two hug after the match as Statlander’s on her way to AEW.

And now, as is apparently tradition, the final match will take place as The First Match Of The Year, so one last intermission before the…

…Wait, back to the ring, where referee Kevin Quinn pops the question to his girlfriend! SHE SAID YES!

Okay, now back to the…

Main Event, Fans Bring the Weapons Match: Bear Country (Bear Brunson and Bear Boulder) v. Team Tremendous (Dan Barry and Bill Carr). Oh, fans bring the weapons? Don’t show Tommy this match either. It’s a brawl to start and probably all the way through. The Bears get control early on. Bronson gets a crutch and smashes Barry, while Boulder looks for CD case on Carr. Bronson smashes Carr with a barbed wire Dogs Playing Poker painting. No, I’m NOT kidding..

Boulder smashes Barry with a Barbie doll covered in tacks. Boulder then finds a pillow and smashes Barry with it as Carr is busted open. Bronson rips at Barry’s eyes. Next thing: a barbed wire globe. Bronson sticks it in a very bad place on Barry. Boulder puts on the Infinity Gauntlet and distracts Barry until Bronson dropkicks the globe into Barry. Team Tremendous bails out, and Bear Country follows. Barry staples a streamer to Brunson, while Carr uses a tennis racket. Barry smashes a dowling rod over Brunson. Carr staples guns Brunson, and Barry adds a right hand before putting a tennis racket to Boulder.

Carr chokes Boulder with a wreath, but Brunson saves with an orange traffic cone. Barry stops Brunson with another weapon – couldn’t tell which one – and everyone heads into the crowd. All four make their way to ringside, where Barry moonsaults on both Bears. Carr is the only one standing, and he checks on Barry (who may have landed on his funny bone). Tremendous sends Boulder around the ring, but he beats down Carr only to be sent down a flight of stairs by Barry. Barry locks Boulder outside, leaving Brunson alone.

Brunson finds a cane, jamming both men with it. He clubs down Barry, and a standing uranage follows. (Commentary: “Hey, a wrestling move!”) He beats on Carr in the corner, but Carr finds a beer bottle and smashes Brunson with it. Barry finds the cheese grater and works over Brunson with it. Carr and Brunson are both bleeding, and we get some gutters set up in the corner. Carr unwraps an Amazon gift package to find… a barbed wire wedding dress.

He puts that with the gutters, but in the confusion, Brunson is able to fight back until Barry smashes a thumbtack guitar into his back. Then Carr gets an exploder into the barbed wire dress and gutters combo for two. Barry then suplexes a body pillow onto Brunson. But wait! Boulder returns, bleeding a bit from having ripped off a car bumper or two, and is using them as weapons before allowing Brunson to dive onto both of Team Tremendous.

Boulder and Barry in the ring now, and Boulder finds a pinata. Inside is… a combo of thumbtacks and Legos. Boulder sets Barry up and goes up top, but Barry smashes boulder with a cardboard tube only to get thrown onto the Lego/thumbtack combo. Boulder then goes to moonsault Barry, but he slips on the ropes and his tailbone lands on a keg. Barry with a skateboard shot because why not. Carr with a Bossman Slam on Boulder on the Legotacks for two.

Brunson returns and dumps a huge bin of golf balls onto Carr, then uses a trashcan on both men. Barry’s the only one not bleeding right now. Brunson knocks Carr to the ground with the trashcan before finding another package. Barry recovers with a superkick, only for Brunson to give Barry a Blue Thunder Driver on Carr. The package appears to have been a red herring. Brunson, not satisfied with the weapons the fans found, goes under the ring and finds another door.

The door is set up in the corner, and after clearing out some of the weaponry.. never mind, Barry cuts them off. Boulder picks up Barry, but Carr with a mop to Boulder to wear him out. Barry then gives Boulder a Death Valley Driver into the door. Brunson misses a blind charge, and Carr picks him up for the Elevated Complete Shot. That’s only two. Doomsday Shiranui on Brunson, their tag finisher, gets two and everyone is in shock. Barry goes weapon hunting and finds four chairs. Carr sets them up as Barry goes backstage and finds a door with mousetraps glued to it.

The door is set across the chairs as Carr picks Brunson up. Brunson has skewers, however, and drives them into Carr’s skull, then into Barry’s. But Team Tremendous find a few extra and return the favor to the Bears. And then they start headbutting each other. Boulder no-sells Barry, and he grabs him with a powerbomb through the mousetrap door. Backpack Stack Cannonball on Carr, and the Elevator Drop follows. It gets two, and that’s a first too.

Everyone slowly gets to their feet and it’s a double hockey fight. Team Tremendous goes low, and Carr with a Rainmaker on Boulder. They powerbomb Brunson onto Boulder. They then put a stack of weapons mid-ring, and they want the Doomsday Shiranui on Brunson onto the pile. But Boulder staple guns both of his opponents to block it, and it’s a double suplex to Carr on the pile. Double chokeslam on Barry onto Carr follows. Brunson goes up top, and the Elevator Drop onto both men finally ends the match at 27:13. Bear Country pose as an All These Guys chant breaks out to end the show.

Happy New Year everyone!

TL;DR Results:

• Addy Starr over Davienne at 4:57 with a sliding elbow.
• Wheeler YUTA over Fred Yehi at 10:52 with a jack-knife pin.
• Nick Gage over Slade at 7:25 with a powerbomb.
• IWTV Champion “Warhorse” Jake Parnell over Manders at 10:42 with a double stomp.
• David Starr over Erick Stevens at 20:23 with two lariats.
• Team Pazuzu over the Legit Legends at 16:12 when Dickinson pinned O’Neill after the Doomsday Chokeslam.
• Brandon Thurston over Daniel Garcia at 10:23 with a brainbuster.
• Christian Casanova over Tony Deppen at 15:00 with a top-rope ax kick.
• Josh Briggs over Anthony Greene at 14:27 with a Chokebomb.
• John Silver over Kris Statlander at 16:43 with a cradle.
• Bear Country over Team Tremendous at 27:13 when Brunson pinned both team members after an Elevator Drop.