The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite–11.13.19

Might as well just post it now rather than making everyone wait for the morning.

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.13.19

Live from Nashville, TN.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross & Excalibur

Kenny Omega gets a checkup after destroying his body at Full Gear, and aside from a black eye, he seems to be doing OK. Regardless, the doctor tells him to take the week off. And if there’s one thing I know about wrestling, it’s that people listen to doctors.

Jon Moxley v. Michael Nakazawa

Nakazawa is so upset about Omega’s injuries that he tosses aside the baby oil, but Moxley pretty easily beats on him with forearms in the corner, and then follows with the DDT for the pin at 1:11. Afterwards, he clarifies that the win counts this time, and points out that he delivered exactly what he promised at Full Gear. But with Kenny gone, he’s pretty sure no one in the dressing room has the balls to face him, but if there’s anyone who wants a piece, bring it on. But kiss your loved ones goodbye and have an ambulance on speed dial first. Solid advice.

The Dark Order v. Marko Stunt & Jungle Boy

Jim Cornette is gonna hate this match. Stunt is playing the part of Luchasaurus tonight, but sadly doesn’t work with the mask on. Marko takes Uno down with armdrags to start, and Jungle Boy gets a rana on Grayson (JR: “He’s just sore that he’s lost his first name.”) and the Express double-teams him as Stunt cannonballs into him and JB gets two. Stunt grabs a headlock on Grayson and outsmarts Uno’s cheating attempt, but walks into a big boot and the Order goes to work. Uno goes up with a swanton for two and Grayson gets the senton on the apron as they cut off the ring and we take a PIP break. Grayson gets a delayed suplex on Stunt for two, then picks him up and hangs him in the corner to keep him on their side. We get more nice diagonal division of the ring as Stunt is pretty much the ultimate face in peril, and Uno hits a fallaway slam for two. Marko manages to pop up into a Flatliner on Uno, but Grayson pulls Jungle off the apron. The Boy hits Grayson with a forearm, however, and makes the hot tag. Shining Wizard on Uno gets two, but Grayson saves. So Jungle moonsaults into a knee on them both and gets two on Uno. Uno yanks them into each other, but Stunt keeps coming with a 450 into a rana (after slipping off the top rope the first time) and that gets two on Grayson. Jungle Boy dumps the heels and tries a dive, but they catch him and Grayson hits him with a knee strike. Back, in the Order finishes Stunt with their finisher at 9:29. Can we just not with these guys? Decent enough tag match. **1/2 And then Uno actually cuts a promo for once, offering Stunt a chance to join their army of masked geeks and then proceeding with the beatdown anyway. And then Luchasaurus returns and just single-handedly wrecks them all by himself, hitting three of them with one kick and then chokeslamming Grayson and moonsaulting him before reuniting the team. This man is a SUPERSTAR. That is called MAKING A BABYFACE. WWE take note.

Shawn Spears v. Peter Avalon v. Darby Allin

Speaking of superstars, I’m surprised they didn’t put Allin on the PPV to continue his hot streak. Darby flips around to evade Spears to start and gets rid of Avalon, but Avalon cuts off his dive, so Allin dropkicks him to the floor. He goes up for another dive, but Spears knocks him off for an awkward bump and gets a backdrop suplex for two off that. Spears chokes him out in the corner while Tully stresses how he’s NOT doing anything illegal, but Joey Janela comes out to brawl with Spears and chase him out of the match. This leaves Darby alone with the Librarian, and he hits the stunner and finishes with the Coffin Drop at 3:40. This was putting in the work to keep the Spears-Janela feud going and put Allin over strong at the same time. I approve of this. **1/4 And then afterwards, Darby is the guy to accept Mox’s open challenge, which will apparently happen next week.

Nyla Rose v. Dani Jordan

Say what you will about their women’s division, but they’ve got a neverending supply of cute blond girls, it seems like. Nyla boots the crap out of Jordan, but she fights back, and that goes badly for her. Nyla beats on her in the corner and adds an avalanche, into the samoan drop and powerbomb to finish at 1:34.

Speaking of cute blondes, Ally chats with Tony about her rise up the rankings, but the lights go out and Awesome Kong comes out and destroys her to claim another lock of hair.

LE CHAMPION joins us for some promo time, and he’s still demanding thank you from all offices, front back and to the side. But not from Nashville, because they’re all jackasses. What a great way to shut down the heel fans. And then Cody’s music hits and MJF appears in his place to NUCLEAR heat. They actually have to mute the crowd’s “asshole” chants, and he lets us know that Cody has been the real villain the whole time. Because the REAL Cody only cares about himself, and MJF is the only person who knows the real Cody. The person who took a young MJF and made him into a puppet, holding him down because of jealousy. So MJF and Jericho negotiate who wants whom for the Inner Circle (“DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE?” “I DUNNO, CHRIS, DO YOU WANT ME TO JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE?”) and do some wacky wordplay with each other and bond over their love of scarves. Perhaps MJF’s parents got horny watching Jericho beat up Juventud Guerrera 20 years ago? “Who the hell is Juvy?” MJF asks. Poor Tony is just losing it and breaking up at this point, and can you blame him? So they continue to argue about MJF joining, and then agree that Cody is the biggest jackass and that seals the deal. And then Cody does indeed show up to confront them, but that Wardlow guy shows up and destroys Cody. This was GOLD, and we don’t deserve a world with MJF and Jericho riffing on each other for 10 minutes, although this Wardlow guy seems pretty generic.

Pac v. Hangman Page

Page charges and Pac kicks him down and immediately tries for the finish, but Page gets away to the floor. Pac follows with a dive and then goes up and moonsaults him to the floor. Back in, Pac tries the Arrow and misses, and Page dropkicks him to the floor and follows with his own dive. Back in, Page throws chops in the corner and boots Pac down for two. They fight to the top and Pac fights him off and follows with a missile dropkick, and then another one to the back for two. Pac boots him to the apron, but charges and gets slammed on the apron, setting up another moonsault from Page. We take a break and return with Page throwing forearms, but Pac blocks the lariat with a superkick and snaps off a german suplex. Page pops up with an “excuse me, I will sell this devastating move but pardon me while I hit this first” lariat and both are down. Pac with an enzuigiri into a rollup for two. Page superkicks him to put him on the floor and Pac retreats to a chair, but then suckers Page in, only for Page to hit him with the brainbuster on the floor this time. CLEVER. Back in, the buckshot lariat gets two. Pac boots him down and Page appears to be knocked out, so Pac puts the boots to his head repeatedly just to make sure, and goes up with the Black Arrow and Brutalizer to finish at 12:09. This was pretty awesome. ****

Meanwhile, the Young Bucks suddenly brawl with Proud & Powerful backstage, with a door randomly bursting open to reveal Orange Cassidy casually standing in a bathroom and hanging out. I laughed really hard at that, especially Santana slowly closing the door again awkwardly. They continue brawling all the way up to the ring through the PIP break, with the Bucks getting the worst of things thanks to that damn blackjack and sock full of quarters or whatever it is. And then Matt gets powerbombed through the stage and they go after Nick again, but Brandon Cutler saves and then gets beat up himself. Finally Private Party and a bunch of security manage to break things up and end the assault. And next week, it’s Private Party v. Santana & Ortiz as a result. They work FAST.

AEW World tag team title: SCU v. Chris Jericho & Sammy Guervara

Kaz takes Jericho down with armdrags to start and Jericho runs for the wrong corner, but manages to bring Sammy in. And Sky immediately hits him with a spinning backbreaker for two and a springboard legdrop from Kazarian for two. Snap german suplex and Scorpio comes in with a dropkick on Jericho to chase him away as we take a break. Back with Sammy getting a samoan drop for two on Kaz and he dropkicks him into the corner and stops to pose. Sammy with the chinlock and he hits a Spanish Fly and goes up for a shooting star press, but that misses. Hot tag Sky and he runs wild with dropkicks and a neckbreaker on Guevara for two. Scorpio necksnaps him and slingshots in with a DDT for two, into a dragon sleeper, but Jericho breaks it up. It’s a PIER SIX BRAWL, but Jake Hager takes out Kazarian and Sammy rolls up Sky for two. Hager destroys Daniels on the floor as JR accidentally calls him “Swagger” and then clarifies that he’s GOT Swagger, but he’s NOT Swagger. Jericho comes in to clean up, but Scorpio double stomps his back and hits a TKO for two. Jericho misses a dropkick and Sky goes up, but misses an elbow. Jericho with the Lionsault, but that hits knees. Jericho with the codebreaker for two, but Sky rolls him up for the pin at 12:46 to retain, handing Jericho his first loss. And then Jericho destroys the ringside area in a massive tantrum and we’re out. A really good main event with a surprising clean finish to hopefully make a new challenger for LE CHAMPION. ***1/4

Once again, a delightfully easy watch that flies by, with nothing I’d call a major weak spot this week and lots of attempts at making new stars. I continue to dig it immensely.