The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Hidden Gems–10.17.19

The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Hidden Gems – Mid-South in New Orleans, 11.11.85

With the impending dump of Mid-South on the Network this Monday (which means I can pick up where I left off in 1985, yay!) the theme for the Hidden Gems this week is, duh, Mid-South and/or Houston from that time period.

First up, a Mid-South house show from New Orleans!

The Bruise Brothers (Mad Dog Boyd & Pork Chop Cash) v. Steve Williams & El Corsario

Only about a minute of this is shown, sadly, as they do a big brawl and then it suddenly cuts to the next match. Amazingly I thought Corsario looked familiar in the brief time he was shown here, and in fact he’s actually the rookie Juan Rivera, doing one of his first matches before he later went on to become the Caribbean legend Savio Vega!

Jake Roberts v. Lord Humongous

Humongous is not yet Sid Vicious, as he’s about the same size as Jake here. This would be the version played by Jeff Van Camp from Memphis. Luckily it was an easy gimmick to outfit, as you just need some studded black tights and a hockey mask. Humongous pounds away on Jake and no-sells his offense, but Jake takes him down and goes for the mask, which chases him out to the floor. Back in, Humongous gets a slam and goes to a lengthy bearhug before dropping Jake and hitting him with headbutts. Van Camp moves and looks like an LJN wrestling figure and has about the same mobility. Humongous with the surfboard and he adds more headbutts with the hockey mask, and how can that possibly be legal? More headbutts to the back and another bearhug follow. Legdrop misses and Jake teases a comeback, but Humongous bearhugs him AGAIN, so Jake finally escapes with an atomic drop and puts him down with a kneelift. Clothesline gets two, but Oliver Humperdink pulls Jake off, so he hits the DDT and gets two. Humperdink distracts him again before he can finish the pinfall, and that allows Humongous to hit him with the dreaded cobra sleeper and put his lights out at 10:45. This was REALLY crappy. Like, Jake was literally pinning the man after hitting his unstoppable finisher and he got off and went after Humperdink! -*

Mid-South tag team titles: Al Perez & Wendell Cooley v. Eddie Gilbert & The Nightmare

So when we left Mid-South in mid-1985, the Nightmare was masked and running wild as a monster, but sometime between then and here he lost his mask and now it’s obviously just dumb ol’ Randy “Moondog Rex” Colley. Perez exchanges armbars with the Nightmare and that goes nowhere. Over to Gilbert and he evades Perez, but falls victim to that armbar. Finally it’s time for the Wildcat, and he comes in and does an armbar as well. Who says Al Perez was boring? Cooley works the arm, and works the arm, and works the arm. Over to Perez, who also works the arm. I should note that both Perez and Cooley are sporting serious mullets and Todd Parker porn star ‘staches at this point, so you know it’s 1985. So Perez keeps Gilbert in the armbar and every time Eddie reaches for the ropes, Cooley punches him away while the Nightmare protests to the ref from the apron. He’s not wrong. Back to the arm as we hit 10:00 of the babyfaces getting the shine with armbars and nothing else. Eddie tries for the ropes and Cooley pulls them away from the apron, allowing Perez to go back to that arm. And then Cooley comes in for a DOUBLE ARMBAR. Thankfully, Gilbert stomps out of the damn armbar after 12:00 and brings the Nightmare back in, but now the Vince Russo Twins double-team him and Perez gets a sunset flip for two. Eddie comes back in and misses a charge, and sure enough Perez goes back to the armbar. Whatever “state of the art” was in 1985, this is the exact opposite. Eddie escapes, so Perez slugs him down and fights off the Nightmare with dropkicks. Finally, FINALLY, the heels cheat and get the heat on Perez to hopefully make something happen in this match. Nightmare stomps him down in the corner and Eddie comes in with a kneelift and drops a bunch of elbows on Perez, for two. Nightmare with the chinlock and the heels switch off on that while Cooley yells motivational phrases from the apron. “COME ON, AL! YOU GOTTA FIGHT!” Repeat about 20 times for the full experience while reading this. So indeed, Perez does fight back, but Gilbert cuts him off with a short clothesline for two. Over to the Nightmare, who pounds on him in the corner while Gilbert gets some choking behind the ref’s back, and Nightmare gets a backdrop suplex for two. Perez collides with Gilbert for the double down and it’s HOT TAG Wildcat, who runs wild while the girls scream. But then Nightmare immediately yanks the top rope down and he takes a vicious bump to the plywood floor to stop that rally. Perez demands that the ref give him a timeout, but the countout continues while Perez protests. Just throw your damn partner back in the ring and break the count, you wuss! So instead he continues being a wah-wah baby to the ref and then finally rolls Cooley in like he should have done right away. If you’re gonna wear the moustache, BE A MAN. So the heels beat on the helpless Cooley and Nightmare gets a powerslam and elbow while Eddie struts. Cooley gets one last burst and pushes back to his own corner, but of course Humperdink was distracting the ref, so Perez can take no more and comes in to handle things himself. This allows Gilbert to hit the hotshot on Cooley while the ref escorts Al out, and we have new tag team champions at 26:10. Yeah, well, everything that happened to them was their own damn fault. If you’re gonna grow Tom Selleck moustaches and wear matching leather pants, I expect a certain level of competence in the ring to back it up. Really slow start but it picked up nicely by the end once they settled into working the tag team formula. ***

Bounty Match: Dick Slater v. Butch Reed

This is joined in progress with Slater hitting an atomic drop for two and holding a chinlock on the mat. Reed escapes and makes the comeback as he slugs Slater down and we learn that we missed the first 15:00. Reed drops a fist and they slug it out, with Butch winning that battle but still limping around the ring from something that happened before we picked it up. Slater catches him with the sleeper and Reed gets to the ropes. Slater takes him down and informs us that he’s going to “break his goddamn leg”, which is his subtle hint that he’s about to do a figure-four. It’s the little things you can watch for, you see. Reed reverses the hold, so Slater releases and hits him in the knee again, but the ref is bumped. Slater tries another figure-four, but the ref recovers and Reed cradles for two. But then they collide and Slater falls on top, while Dark Journey holds down his feet for the assisted pin at 7:09 aired. Seemed pretty good from what I saw. **1/2

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Buzz Sawyer

Duggan storms in and beats the shit out of Mad Dog to start, chasing him out of the ring. They slug it out and Duggan wins that handily, then tosses him over the top rope because it’s no-DQ. Buzz gets rammed into the railing repeatedly and you KNOW he’s busted open, and Duggan beats on the cut for good measure and bites him. Back to the railing as Sawyer is a bloody mess already and Duggan tells the ref “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” Sawyer tries to run away, so Duggan tosses him into another railing while the crowd goes nuts, and we head into the ring so Duggan can pound on him in the corner. Man, where was this fire in the WWF? Duggan keeps beating on Buzz as he begs for mercy, but then hits Duggan low and takes him down. So ol’ Hacksaw tosses him over the top rope again and then throws him back into the ring, where Buzz finally punts him in the ol’ 2×4 and Duggan is seeing stars and stripes. So now Buzz sends Duggan into the railing outside to return the favor and beats on him in the front row, and Duggan is busted open. Sawyer drops what appears to be an end table on him and that looked painful, but Duggan fights back. Back in the ring, Sawyer chokes him out in the corner and bites the cut, then kicks him in the Trumps again and Duggan has to bite him to stop the onslaught. So Duggan gets all fired up and hits a clothesline before slugging away on the mat, but Buzz gets a cheapshot and tries to leave. Duggan hauls him back in and Buzz catches him with a lariat, and both guys are down. Duggan makes the comeback and returns the kick to the little mad dog, then spears him to the floor. Sawyer has had enough of this fight and decides to walk out at 11:41, but then changes his mind after taking the loss and charges back in like, well, a mad dog. He lays out Duggan from behind and they continue brawling while the timekeeper fruitlessly rings the bell. And then everyone runs in to pull them apart. People being unruly in New Orleans? Well I never. This was the type of match that was a slam dunk for both guys before they got lazy later in their careers. ****1/2 And then the heels manage to pull Mad Dog off and bring him back to the backstage area to calm him down, but Duggan charges in now and continues the fight, unleashing more potty mouth and demanding “JUST ONE MORE FUCKING MATCH!” while the babyfaces try desperately to get them apart. SUCH GOOD SHIT, PAL. No, seriously, it was such good shit.

So not much going on with this particular show, but HOLY SHIT you should watch Sawyer and Duggan beating the holy hell out of each other in an ECW brawl. This show is titled “Hacksaw and Buzz tear down New Orleans” and you get exactly what’s advertised.

Next up, a couple of other leftovers related to the territory…

NWA World title: Harley Race v. Dick Murdoch (04.02.77)

So this is way back from the predecessor to Mid-South, NWA Tri-State Wrestling. And some damn fine looking footage for a show that was thought to be lost forever. We’re joined in progress as Race works an Indian deathlock on Murdoch, but Dick fights free and survives a headbutt by falling on top of Race for two. Race with an atomic drop for two, but Murdoch stomps away and gets two. He runs Race into the ringpost to hurt the shoulder, but Race gets a rollup for two. Skandor Akbar comes in to interfere and Murdoch goes after him, but Race runs Murdoch into Akbar and gets the pin at 3:37. So Murdoch doesn’t particularly appreciate his manager costing him the NWA World title and turns on him. Akbar’s man Dr. X lays him out and Murdoch is busted open, so the NWA censors the action until we rejoin it with Murdoch getting hung in the ropes. This was pretty awesome for 1977.

Texas heavyweight title: Gino Hernandez v. Kerry Von Erich (02.22.85)

So this is from Houston, which basically counts as Mid-South, although this particular match is with World Class talent. Ted Dibiase is acting as manager for Gino tonight, so Terry Taylor comes out and acts as Kerry’s manager to keep Dibiase from getting up to anything fowl. You know, to make sure he knows who rules the roost. Gino stalls and protests for a while before trying a wristlock, but Kerry easily overpowers him and takes him down with an armbar. Kerry works a hammerlock for a bit and Gino bails for some advice from Dibiase. That advice? “Make sure to have a rich father who you can inherit millions of dollars from.” Ouch. Awkward. Back in, Kerry continues working the hammerlock and suddenly we get commentary from out of nowhere. Hernandez escapes with a hiptoss and works his own hammerlock and armbar. Kerry gets the sleeper and Gino takes him to the corner to break. Dibiase trips up Kerry and Gino pounds him in the corner and goes up with his Nasty Boy-level flying elbow for two. Kerry comes back with a sunset flip for two and dropkicks Gino into the ref by accident. Dibiase comes in and is indeed up to no good, as the heels double-team Kerry and he’s busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Metaphorically speaking. And the ref throws it out at 10:40. Gino had amazing charisma but he just had nothing to back it up in the ring. **

The Duggan-Sawyer match is the clear winner here!