The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Hidden Gems–09.27.18

The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Hidden Gems – 09.27.18

Well, as they build to Pobody’s Nerfect in Australia, this week’s batch of gems focuses on rare matches between HHH and Undertaker. So that’s pretty straight-forward.

Kuwait Cup

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Undertaker (05.12.96)

So this is a big steaming bowl of “WHAT THE FUCK” already, as this appears to be shot with a handheld camera and no commentary. This is the semi-finals of the first Kuwait Cup in 1996 (more famous for Vader getting arrested in 97 than for anything that happened in the tournaments) that was won by Ahmed Johnson. This is also the very first meeting between our heroes. Anyway, the handheld camera is strange because people have actually seen clips of professionally shot footage from the tournament, and in fact the cameraman here at various points gets shots of the OTHER camera that was shooting the match! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. Hunter attacks to start and Taker hammers him down and hurls him down after a two-handed choke. Taker with the ropewalk and he chokes away in the corner, but the ref makes the mistake of getting in his face and he ends up running away for a comedy spot where he lands in Paul Bearer’s arms. Hunter takes over with some punching and kicking in the corner and a clothesline for two. Paul takes the ref for some reason and that allows Hunter to beat on Taker for two. This is a strangely worked match. Is Undertaker supposed to be a heel here? I don’t really understand the dynamic of what’s going on. Taker whips Hunter into the ref and he’s out cold, which allows Hunter to use a pair of brass knuckles to knock Taker out. However, he makes the mistake of giving a formal bow, and Taker does the zombie situp and makes the comeback, but then steals the gimmick and knocks Hunter out to draw the DQ at 6:45. So Hunter advances to the finals. This was kind of a strange, badly-worked match. 0 for 1.

An Escalator Ride to Remember

Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Undertaker (02.08.97)

From SHOTGUN SATURDAY NIGHT in the famous Penn Station episode. What a crazy awesome atmosphere for a wrestling show. I hope they add these to the Network because I would recap the FUCK out of the first six episodes. So we immediately take a break and return with the ref getting bumped, and Hunter hits him with the belt and we take ANOTHER break. Back with Hunter in control as he pounds on Taker in the corner and drops a knee for two. They slug it out and Taker wins that one, but the belt gets involved again and Taker hits him with it for the DQ at 3:45 aired. The crowd calls for the tombstone, but Hunter wisely runs away and tries to get upstairs. Sadly for him, Taker catches him at the top of the stairs and gives him the tombstone, at the top of the escalator, and Hunter takes the bump and rides it to the bottom while selling. Gotta go with the point for the escalator bump. 1 for 2.

Friday Night Fight

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Undertaker (09.05.97)

This is another show missing from the Network, as RAW moved to Friday for a couple of weeks in 97 due to pre-emption. Hunter attacks to start and Taker quickly gets ready to destroy him with a chokeslam, but Rick Rude comes out for the distraction and Hunter goes up with a flying CLUBBING FOREARM that gets two. Blind charge hits boot and Taker makes the comeback with the flying clothesline and a legdrop for two. Taker goes after Rude and Shawn runs in for the DQ at 4:35 and the proto-DX beatdown is on. Nothing to this one. 1 for 3.

Well, this collection didn’t exactly get me hyped for the big SUPER SHOWDOWN next week. Better luck next time, I guess.