The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic–S02E01

The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S02E01

I much prefer the leisurely pace of one per week rather than trying to binge through like last year. They really started to run together quickly and hopefully the show has a chance to breathe this time around.

And yes, I know the results, but I won’t spoil anything here for those who don’t.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Renee Young & Beth Phoenix. Not a fan of this combination, but at least Michael Cole sounds invested because he’s typically the guy producing the announcers.

Round One: Tegan Nox v. Zatara

Tegan is from PROGRESS and missed last year’s tournament with a torn ACL. And Michael is already picking her to win the whole thing! Come on, man, it’s only the first match, take it down a notch. Zatara, from Chile, “might be the most physical woman in the entire tournament.” What does that even MEAN?! They trade wristlocks to start and Tegan works the arm and snaps off a rana and dropkick to send Zatara to the floor. Tegan teases a dive, but Zatara offers a handshake and then turns on her. Her magician namesake would not approve of such shenanigans. Zatara works on the knee and gets a low dropkick for two, then wraps the knee in the ropes and dropkicks it. Really, it’s Tegan’s own fault for wearing the giant knee brace like a target. Zatara with the leglock, but Nox makes the ropes and makes a one-legged comeback with forearms. She goes up with a flying bodypress for two but runs into a boot in the corner and Zatara gets a missile dropkick into the corner for two. Zatara misses a knee and Nox hits a Shining Wizard to advance at 6:13. Pretty basic and simple stuff here. **1/4

Round One: Rhea Ripley v. MJ Jenkins

Rhea exited quickly last year, but now she’s all DARK and angsty. Given her look and size, I’m shocked she hasn’t been signed as it is. MJ is the funky black girl from Brooklyn and she seems like easy low hanging fruit. Rhea eschews the handshake to show how much attitude she has. She’s got leather studded pants! You expect her to shake hands like some kind of square? MJ dances and showboats on the apron, so Ripley dropkicks her to the floor and gets two. Back in, low dropkick gets two. Rhea continues destroying her with a clothesline for two as Michael talks about how everyone compares to her to Charlotte. Aside from the fact she’s tallish and blond, she’s nowhere NEAR where Charlotte was at the same point in her career. Ripley with a delayed suplex for two and she gets an abdominal stretch, then faceplants Jenkins for two. Fun fact from the announcers: Rhea’s favorite wrestler growing up was the Miz. Good lord that statement makes me feel so old. MJ makes a comeback with a shoulderblock, and stops to dance again, but misses a blind charge as a result. She recovers with a springboard dropkick for two, but Rhea catches her with a powerbomb to finish at 6:52. Mostly an extended squash for Ripley, and that’s fine because she’s got big star potential. *1/2

Round One: Lacey Lane v. Vanessa Kraven

Two exceedingly generic entrants here, although Lane is small so she’s a SPITFIRE. I guess they need some kind of distinguishing characteristic with 32 women. Lane tries to throw down in the corner and gets nowhere, then tries a ropewalk springboard deal and has an epic botch. Man, don’t do shit you can’t do, especially given a chance like this to shine. Kraven drops her on the apron (THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING…BUT WITH WOMEN!) to take over and chokes away in the corner, then follows with a cannonball for two. Kraven with chops as Cole really sells the David v. Goliath story, although it’s somewhat undercut by him actually stating at the beginning of the match that it’s David v. Goliath. Did David v. Goliath draw, I wonder? What were the StubHub numbers like for it? Lane fights back and does a lot of flips and rolls, but Kraven gets a sideslam for two. And sneers a lot. Lacey comes back with the crucifix bomb for the upset win at 4:57, however. Lacey was trying way too hard and looked like she had some major nerves, but it was alright overall. **

Meanwhile, Natalya is here and rooting for Io Shirai.

Round One: Meiko Satomura v. Killer Kelly

So yeah, they pull out footage from 1997 when Satomura was a 16 year old in WCW as a jobber, which is nuts. There’s another match with her in Hidden Gems from Worldwide that we’ll get to this weekend as well. Killer Kelly is the badass MMA character this year and she’s got a great wrestling name. Meiko throws kicks as we get the unreal moment of Michael Cole discussing “joshi strong style” on commentary. WHAT EVEN IS THIS WORLD? Meiko works the headlock and then POUNDS Kelly with a forearm to put her back down again. Oh yeah. Kelly tries for a guillotine and then settles for a big boot that gets two. She continues to pound on her, but Satomura does an amazing reversal out of the corner and flows into a half-crab and then twists it into an STF in one motion. WHOA. Now that’s some smooth technical wrestling! Meiko effortlessly takes her down with a judo trip and pounds away with short kicks, and then takes her down AGAIN at will and drops knees for two. Kelly fights back with a delayed suplex for two, but Meiko puts her down with a forearm and then cartwheels into double knees to the spine. This is just unfair. It’s like facing a boss in Street Fighter with the AI cheating or something. They fight to the top and Kelly brings her down and follows with a corner dropkick and fisherman’s suplex for two. Kelly tries a german suplex, but Meiko reverses to a Pele Kick and hits a pissed off death valley driver to finish at 7:39. Strong style indeed! Easily the best match of the night and Satomura gave an incredible performance here. ***1/2

A good, easy to watch show overall, although the commentary isn’t the best. Worth a look for Meiko Satomura this week, for sure.