Rants

Tempting Fate

By Scott Keith on March 9, 2017

​​So a couple of days ago, I said this:

“On the bright side, you’d have to think that there’s no earthly way this year’s show can possibly be worse than last year’s.”

A​nd now this guy disagrees and even throws one of my favorite quotes at me:

​
I’m not sure I agree with your detective work, Lou. Let’s break it down match by match:

​

WM Star Main Event: Roman Reigns v. HHH in a match that left everyone angry, but the biggest knock against it is that it was boring.

WM Sunshine Main Event: Lesnar v. Goldberg where one guy is 50 and has spent a collective 3 minutes in the ring since his return. The other guy legally murdered in his prime Randy Orton. We saw 13 years ago these two have zero chemistry together, and does it go more than 5 minutes?

Advantage: Star. It’s close, but at least that match featured a full-time worker winning the belt.

WM Star Undertaker Match: Shane v. Taker in the dumpster fire to end all dumpster fires.

WM Sunshine Undertaker Match: Reigns v. Broken-Ass Sad Taker in the match that will piss off EVERYBODY.

Advantage: Star. It was a dumpster fire, but some people like those. The Reigns match is (as you’ve said) the ultimate troll job that will completely turn the crowd.

WM Star Underappreciated Match: Styles v Jericho.

WM Sunshine Underappreciated Match: Owens v. Jericho.

Advantage: Sunshine. I’ll go this year’s show on this one, simply because the Best Friends EXPLODE… HERE, at WrestleMania SUNSHINE! But will they be given enough time to EXPLODE?

WM Star “Why is this on the card?” Match: Ambrose v. Lesnar in a match with an unmotivated Lesnar and a shitty finish.

WM Sunshine “Why is this on the card?” Match: Orton v. Wyatt for the World title because reasons.

Advantage: Star. At least an unmotivated Viking Space Lord is still the Viking Space Lord. I’ll take that over Bray mumbling nonsense then losing to Randy “I’m totes boring as a face, no matter how may graves I set on fire!” Orton.

WM Star Women’s Match: Banks v. Lynch v. Flair back when we promised honest and for true that we’re taking the women seriously now.

WM Sunshine Women’s Match: Bayley v. Flair after 3,000 title changes last year and wasting Bayley’s big win on PPV with last night’s nonsensical booking.

Advantage: Star, hands down. The Sunshine match now means zip thanks to Fastlane.

WM Star “Someone’s Gonna Get Hurt” Match: Ladder Match for the IC Title.

WM Sunshine’s “Someone’s Gonna Get Hurt” Match: HHH v. Rollins in the battle of the injury-prone!

Advantage: Star. Rollins/H is going to feature HHH blowing out both quads after Seth gives him an off-balance power bomb and tears his Achilles all at the same time. At least the IC title match was able to get to its finish.

So in conclusion, I look at your quote above and say to you: Yeah, Star was bad, but with the exception of the Best Friends, how can Sunshine NOT be worse? Especially since it will be, what, 43 hours long?

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