Ring of Honor – February 8th, 2017

Howdy!

I’m getting caught up before I do this week’s episode on Wednesday, because I hate not being current!

Tonight, we have a 6-way match between Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Jay White, Lio Rush, Donovan Dijak, and Jonathan Gresham to determine the #1 contender to Marty Scurll’s ROH TV title!

Let’s watch some wrestling, shall we?

ROH TV – February 8th, 2017

We are taped from Center Stage in Atlanta, Georgia! Your host is Kevin Kelly, who will be joined on commentary by Colt Cabana, it appears.

And we’re starting off with the music of Punishment Martinez and BJ Whitmer. Oh, joy. They’re out for some tag team action. Let’s go back a few months, where a match between these two and War Machine spilled out of control. The rematch would have happened sooner, but War Machine was over in Japan competing in the World Tag League. Gotcha. And there’s the music of War Machine! Hanson and Rowe make their way to the ring…..and are immediately attacked by Whitmer and Martinez.

We shall call that a ‘decline’ of the Code of Honor.

War Machine (Hanson & Rowe) vs Punishment Martinez & BJ Whitmer

War Machine quickly takes control in the ring after the sneak attack. They whip BJ and Martinez together, with Hanson following up on Martinez with a slam. Rowe slams Hanson on top of Punishment for good measure. Rowe fires right hands to Martinez, then tags in Hanson. Kneelift by Hanson, then Martinez eats another from Rowe. Hanson then attempts to rub off the facepaint of Martinez with his beard; if Jim Neidhart would have tried that against the Legion of Doom, the Hart Foundation would have been tag team champions again! Or Hawk would have eaten him. Anyway, tag back to Rowe, Hanson whips Rowe into Martinez in the corner while also sending Whitmer off the apron to the floor, then hits Martinez with a splash. That gets one. Rowe goes for the knees, but Punishment moves and sends Rowe headfirst to the buckles, and now Martinez takes over with right hands. Kneelifts by Punishment, but he stops to pose and Rowe takes the opportunity to drive Martinez back to the corner, but Whitmer comes over and clobbers Rowe in the head. Springboard Superman punch by Martinez, then a superkick for Hanson on the apron. Tag to Whitmer and that’s all I need to say that we should watch these great ads!

We’re back with Hanson taking on both Whitmer and Punishment and acquitting himself quite nicely along the way, driving each to an opposite corner. Hanson winds up, clothesline to Whitmer! Clothesline to Martinez! Another for BJ, another for Martinez, a 3rd for BJ, a 3rd…..oh, fuck it. He gets 7 clotheslines on BJ and 6 on Punishment, okay? Hanson sets Martinez across the top rope, Whitmer charges him and eats an elbow, then Hanson starts ramming BJ’s head into Martinez! 10 times, to be exact. Martinez slumps in the corner, Broncobuster by Hanson misses! Tag to Rowe, who comes in with kicks on Martinez and a straight forearm to put him down. Whitmer tries to stop Rowe, but Rowe charges Martinez in the corner and eats a big boot. Hanson with the charge now, Martinez moves, Whitmer comes in with a forearm to Hanson, Martinez follows that with a splash, then Whitmer with a clothesline before tossing Hanson into a spinning kick from Punishment. Double Irish whip, but Hanson cartwheels through the double clothesline attempt and now Rowe is back and all 4 guys fight it out. Whitmer gets dropped and War Machine sends Martinez off the ropes, Rowe pops him up into a powerslam by Hanson! Neato. War Machine sets up Whitmer for Fallout, but BJ escapes, catches Rowe coming in with a kick but takes a right forearm right after that, Rowe off the ropes, BJ follows him with a shitty forearm, and Rowe is so OFFENDED by how shitty that forearm was, he follows BJ this time and clobbers him with a MANLY forearm. Rowe off the ropes, belly-to-belly suplex on BJ! He goes for a Superman punch to Martinez, but gets dropped with a jawbreaker instead. Colt sounds like me on commentary, chastising the ref for not getting the ring clear. Amen, brother. Hanson comes off the top onto Martinez, Whitmer grabs Hanson and hits a German suplex, Rowe hits Whitmer with an overhead throw and just NAILS him in the face with a straight knee. Rowe off the ropes, BJ gets an Exploder! Rowe and BJ get back to their feet and Rowe dumps Whitmer to the floor, Rowe goes for a tope but BJ hits him in the face on the dive. Whitmer goes under the ring and gets a table now, because why not? This match is a goddamn mess. Hanson stops BJ from sending Rowe through a table and goes to send BJ through it, but Martinez stops that with a kick to the back, now Rowe is back at Punishment with a Superman punch, then one for BJ….and the ref hits 20 and calls for the double countout. The crowd correctly boos the shit out of THAT. (War Machine vs Punishment Martinez & BJ Whitmer, double countout, 9:12)

WORTH WATCHING? – War Machine is a great tag team, but they couldn’t save this one. This was like watching their matches with Taylor and Lee, but without any talented wrestlers on the other side. NO, take a pass here. I thought I was going to get into this one, but everytime I tried, it took another turn towards ludicrous, plus they did this same finish before. No point in doing it again for a midcard tag feud. Whitmer’s shots looked ludicrous and silly next to what the other 3 guys were doing, and there wasn’t much flow or cohesion to the match, never mind the fact that they did a double countout after not enforcing pretty much any rules the entire time. Do something else with your time.

Post-match, both teams continue to battle on the floor, with Rowe and Whitmer fighting backstage and Hanson hitting a tope onto Martinez, who comes roaring back quickly and let’s watch some great ads and hope there’s better things on the other side of this break.

We’re back to the music of The Kingdom! Cool, I like that. The 6-man champs make their way to the ring. Their opponents are from the kingdom of ‘already in the ring’, and they are Corey Hollis, Joseph Agau, & John Skyler. You may also know them as ‘guys who are losing’.

The Kingdom (Matt Taven, TK O’Ryan, & Vinny Marseglia) vs Corey Hollis, Joseph Agau, & John Skyler

The Kingdom thinks it over and decide to offer the Code of Honor…..and promptly attack when it’s accepted. Kingdom, I want you to think about how you’ve probably disillusioned these young wrestlers from what makes Ring of Honor great, and that’s the sportsmanship displayed in the Code of Honor. That’s all on your head, Kingdom! Try to sleep at night now, motherfuckers! Anyway, they isolate Agau on the floor and hit the triple-team powerbomb on him there. Now Vinny and TK are in taking on Hollis and Skyler, and these young guys are making a go of it! They try to come off the ropes simultaneously, but Taven yanks Hollis to the floor and Skyler eats a boot from Vinny. Matt runs Corey into the post on the outside while TK hits an exploder on Skyler. Skyler is on his own now, and Vinny hits him with a few running forearms in the corner, then a side belly-to-back suplex, before TK comes in over the top rope with a stomp. He prances, then tags in Taven, who sends John to the corner, then drops him with a backbreaker. Double underhook into another backbreaker, but Skyler kicks out at two. Might have stayed down there, if I were him. But Skyler fires right hands to try to fight back, TK comes in to put a stop to that, superkick by Taven! Spinning kick from TK! 1, 2, NO! Skyler is fighting, I’ll give him that. Stomps by TK, he goes to an abdominal stretch and tries a slam out of that, but Skyler escapes and sends him into Vinny on the apron. John has his moment, dives for the tag and Hollis is back up on the apron! Corey runs across to drop Taven with a right, then starts tagging TK with right hands and chops, off the ropes, headscissors takeover by Corey! Tackle by Hollis! Vinny back in now, and he fires uppercuts against the ropes, Irish whip to Hollis, Corey dives through the ropes onto TK as Skyler dives back into the ring onto Vinny! GREAT timing there. John with a fireman’s carry as Hollis goes up, Taven shoves Hollis off the top! Vinny escapes and sends Skyler to the corner, jumping kick from Taven! Marseglia tosses Skyler now, and Taven sets up Hollis for the power bomb, jackknife cover by Hollis! Vinny makes the save for Taven and bites him in the ear, then a right hand from Skyler sets up the triple-team power bomb for the 1, 2, 3. (The Kingdom over Corey Hollis, John Skyler, & Joseph Agau, pinfall, 5:09)

WORTH WATCHING? – It looked like an extended Kingdom squash before the nifty hope spots set in for the babyfaces. It almost felt like one of those matches you used to see on Saturday morning WWF TV, where the heel would get overconfident and the unknown jobber would look like he could actually win – Jim Powers was a master at it. I’m really on the fence with this one. I’m going with a YES, because I’m a big sucker for formula comebacks like this, but you’re not losing much if you decide to skip. It was really, really on the borderline.

Post-match, the Kingdom has something to say! Mr. Taven? “I want all you Melvins to take a good, long look!” They are the best, beautiful, and ONLY 6-man tag champs that ROH will ever have! Wait a second – that’s the music of Dalton Castle! “What is Dalton Castle and the mini-Melvins gonna do to the Kingdom?” Dalton tells the Boys to show the Kingdom what they’re going to do to them! The Boys proceed to have a playful shoving match with Castle, who then tells the Kingdom “that’s what they’re going to do to YOU.” The crowd goes batshit for that. “You think that’s really cute?” Well, yeah. It was pretty funny, actually. The Kingdom lay down the belts and challenge them to a match right now! Castle and the Boys make their way to the ring, but as Castle gets in, Colt Cabana, who has been slagging Castle on commentary the whole time, gets up and shoves the Boys into the barricade. Colt makes his escape as Dalton tends to the Boys on the outside. The Kingdom laugh it off and we’re off – to watch these great ads!

We’re back with a look at last week, where the Young Bucks told the Tempura Boyz that they were going to get a title shot for winning last week’s 3-way match. Kelly tries to do another bit, but Cabana tries to come back on commentary. Kelly reminds him that there’s a zero-tolerance policy for announcers getting physically involved in matches, so he’s outta here! Cabana can’t believe he’s serious, tells Kelly he’s a bitch, and leaves.

And there’s the music of the Tempura Boyz! Sho and Yohei make their way to the ring for their title match. Let’s hear what they have to say…..oh, never mind. It’s just the Bucks doing a vaguely racist promo as Sho and Yohei. It’s okay because they’re heels that also just happen to be the biggest babyfaces on the roster, so it’s cool, right? Let’s see the champs, as we hear the music of the Young Bucks! They welcome the Boyz to the party, calling them their ‘young boys’. Oh, goodie. I’d guess that this is going to be the Bucks at their worst, isn’t it?

The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) vs The Tempura Boyz (Sho Tanaka & Yohei Komatsu)

Yohei and Nick start us off. Komatsu with a standing side headlock, Nick shoots him off and Yohei runs through him with a shoulder. They run the ropes and Nick gets a palm strike, then a knucklelock that he takes to the top rope before coming off with an armdrag. Tag to Sho, who runs right into a drop toehold as Nick tags in Matt, who comes in with a legdrop. Yohei tries to help his partner, but he eats a double kick from the Bucks and an assisted dropkick from the Bucks sends him to the outside, before Matt grabs Sho on the apron with a headscissors and Nick sends Sho to the outside with a kick to the face, and that’ll send us to watch these great ads!

We’re back! During the break, we see that the Bucks hit stereo topes onto the Boyz on the floor, then stereo powerbombs to the apron before Nick came off the stage with a flipping dive. Matt takes that moment to borrow Kevin’s mic to say hi to Matt and Jeff Hardy: “Hope you’re watching at home, dorks.”

Back to live action now, with Matt setting up for a superkick on Sho, but Tanaka catches that and tags him with a straight right, sending him into Yohei for a Codebreaker before catching him on the rebound with a lungblower. That gets two before Nick makes the save. Yohei pounds on Nick and gets tossed to the floor for his insolence, then Nick pulls down the top rope to send a charging Sho to join him. Sho catches the top rope to stay on the apron for a brief second before Nick finishes the job with a springboard dropkick. Nick jumps to the apron for a down the line kick, but Sho ducks and Matt takes it instead! Sho trips Nick on the apron to send him face first to the mat now, and the Boyz set up on the outside, stereo German suplexes on the floor to the Bucks! They toss Matt back in, Yohei with a back elbow to the corner, Sho with a clothesline, Sho holds Matt up in a powerbomb as Yohei comes off the top to send Matt crashing to the mat! 1, 2, NO! Sho with a tag to Yohei, who backs Matt against the ropes with slaps before Sho just wanders back in the ring anyway. Grrrrr. Double Irish whip, kick to the gut by Sho, bulldog by Yohei, dropkick to the head by Sho. That gets two. Tag to Sho, cross-corner whip to Matt, Matt avoids the blind charge and hits Yohei in the corner, Sho charges again and eats the buckle again as Matt moves and there’s a tag to Nick. Nick comes in and just clobbers both guys with kicks, then takes them both down with the clothesline/bulldog combo. Nick to the apron, Sho charges, Nick hits him in the gut with a shoulder, then springs in with a facebuster, before going back to the apron and moonsaulting Yohei on the floor. He leads the crowd in a ‘Delete/Suck it’ chant before heading back to the top rope, he jumps over a charging Sho and comes off the ropes, the Boyz catch him and hit the Shatter Machine! 1, 2, NO! Boston Crab by Sho as Yohei stands in front of Matt, ostensibly to stop him from coming in, but Matt comes in anyway and tosses Yohei to the floor. He hammers Sho on the top of the head, but Sho won’t break the hold! Matt tunes up for a superkick, but Sho catches the leg and puts Matt in the crab now, and Nick superkicks him just as he turns the hold over. Yohei back in and he fires away, off the ropes and the Bucks go for a double superkick, but Yohei held onto the top rope and they do an admittedly nifty reversal sequence before Yohei does take the double superkick after ending up on the mat. The timing there was impeccable. Nick runs through Yohei with a knee, and then the Bucks double superkick Sho. Nick goes to the apron and this time, the down the line kick nails Yohei on the floor, and the Bucks get the powerbomb/kick combo into the buckles. Matt drapes Sho across the ropes and Nick comes off the top with the 450, and we’re done here. (The Young Bucks over The Tempura Boyz, pinfall, 8:04)

WORTH WATCHING? – It’s a Young Bucks formula match, so that’s what you’re going to get. They were never really in much danger here, so they were able to give the Boyz a lot to make them look like threats in the match. I’m not a big Bucks fan to say the least, but the match itself moved really fast with no resting, so it certainly wasn’t a chore to watch. In the interest of some objectivity in these things, I’ll go ahead and give it a YES, because the Boyz got some good offense and the match delivered what it promised, which was the Bucks showing off, so you can’t fault anyone for trying. Once again, I decry the nonsense that is ROH tag matches with no tags and the complete obliteration of the tag formula, but whatever. It worked okay here.

Post-match, the Bucks offer the Boyz the Code of Honor, which is very sporting of them! They raise the hands of their opponents…..and Adam Page returns to attack them from behind. You know, I think that Page actually has some potential as a worker, I really do, but I couldn’t be less excited for him in his current role in ROH.

Let’s take a look at last week, where Marty Scurll put out an open challenge for any competition from the back, and he got more than a few answers. What does Marty think about that? Let’s find out! “When you have something that everybody wants, you have a target on your back!” He’s the villain, Marty Scurll, and he has a target on his back! But it doesn’t matter who he faces, because whoever it is, they’ll fall victim to the Villain! Yeah!

And there’s the music of the Ring of Honor World Television champion! The Villain makes his way to the desk, as he’s going to do commentary for our main event this evening! And that main event is after these great ads!

We’re back to the music of the Motor City Machine Guns! They make their way to the ring as we see that Lio Rush, Jonathan Gresham, Donovan Dijak, and Jay White are already in the ring. Scurll is being awesome on commentary, just assume this to be true for the entire match.

Jay White vs Lio Rush vs Jonathan Gresham vs Donovan Dijak vs Chris Sabin vs Alex Shelley – Six-Man Scramble match for a title shot at the ROH World TV title

Code of Honor is followed, and that turns into a Hug of Honor amongst the competitors in the middle of the ring, which causes Scurll to retch and repeat the word “Stupid!” over and over again. Hee! The rules: Two men in the ring, anyone can tag in. If any wrestler is thrown from the ring or ends up on the floor via other means, another wrestler can come in and declare himself the legal man. Gresham and White start us off, and talk about a 1v1 that I’d LOVE to watch. White with a headlock, Gresham shoots him off, White with a shoulderblock, Gresham gets his feet up to block Jay coming off the ropes a few times, then takes him over with an armdrag. They run the ropes and White catches Gresham on a leapfrog, then sets him on the top rope before giving a clean break. Gresham gives him a bit of a slap, so Jay attempt to push him to the floor, and Jonthan grabs White with a legscissors off that to take him to the floor as well. That allows Lio Rush and Donovan Dijak to come in and declare themselves legal now. Lio tries a kick that Dijak catches, and Donovan flips Rush over and goes for a chokeslam, Rush with a flurry of strikes and he catches another Dijak kick, now Lio flips Dijak over! Scurll: “I can do that.” Lio fires strikes again, Dijak tries for a chokeslam but Rush flips over while he’s up in the air to escape! That was GREAT. Matrix dodge by Rush on a clothesline attempt from Donovan, then a kick to the gut and a Pele send Dijak outside. Shelley holds open the ropes for Rush, but Sabin declares himself legal and comes in, waistlock by Sabin, reversal by Rush, back elbow by Chris, Sabin tries to go through the legs of Lio to escape but Rush does a backflip to maintain the waistlock. You really, really have to watch Lio Rush wrestle, because he’s doing things that no one else is doing and is going to be HUGE. He’s really small, sure, but there’s an element to his work of ‘what’s he going to do next?’ that can’t be missed. O’Connor roll by Rush, but Sabin tagged in Shelley on the way and Rush gets tossed to the floor by Shelley before Sabin goes the apron and drops Rush with a down the line kick. That allows Gresham to declare himself the legal man, and he comes in with a waistlock on Shelley, Alex reverses and runs him into the ropes to allow Sabin to sunset flip over the top and drop Gresham to the mat, and Jonathan rolls out. White in now and he makes a go of it against the Guns, but the Guns double-team him with an inverted atomic drop into a bridging chinlock for a dropkick from Chris. Rush gets dragged back in by Sabin as our legal men now are Shelley and Rush. Rush tries to fight out but gets double-teamed by the Guns in the corner. Tag to Sabin, and now Lio is fighting out again. Rush off the ropes, but Sabin catches him in a vertical suplex position, and the Guns hit a Magic Killer on Lio. Sabin covers for two before Shelley pulls him off. The Guns have a shoving match as Scurll looks on in delight. “That’s it, come on Sabin! Slap him!” They think about it and decide to hug it out instead, which makes Scurll sick. Perhaps he can find a remedy amongst the following great ads!

We’re back with the Guns double-teaming Gresham now. Shelley catches a waistlock and Sabin comes off the ropes, Gresham ducks and Sabin hits Shelley! Jonthan catches the wrist of Chris and turns it into a Stunner, then an enzuigiri followed by a German suplex with a bridge! 1, 2, White makes the save! White tosses Gresham as Sabin rolls out, which gives Dijak the chance to come in and boot White down. Dijak eats a boot on the blind charge, but no-sells it and attempts a vertical suplex, Jay reverses that and suplexes White into the buckles! White and Rush go at it now, White ducks the kicks of Rush and drops Lio with a Flatliner, then snaps off a nice German suplex that sends Rush rolling to the floor. Jay hits Dijak in the corner with a running uppercut, then goes up and flies with a missile dropkick that sends Dijak crashing into the opposite corner buckles! Uranage by White gets two before Gresham makes the save. Gresham chops White against the ropes now, then springs back off the middle rope over the top of a charging Jay, ducking a clothesline from White and running through the ropes for a tope on Shelley! White follows that with one of his own onto both Gresham and Shelley, and Sabin continues the train wreck by diving onto all three of them! Scurll: “They’re all gonna DIE!” The glee in his voice is awesome. Dijak adds to the carnage with a twisting moonsault onto the four guys on the floor. Donovan grabs Gresham in a choke as Lio Rush tries for his tope, but Dijak catches him with his other hand for the double goozle. They fight Dijak off and Rush gets alley-ooped by Gresham onto Dijak’s shoulders, reverse ‘rana to Dijak on the floor!!! YIKES. Gresham sends Rush to the barricade and then tosses him back in, Gresham goes to the top rope…..but the Rebellion attacks him from the crowd! YOU BASTARDS! They beat down Gresham before the Guns and White make the save, and now those six are battling on the floor. That leaves us with Rush and Dijak in the ring. Dijak quickly gets Rush in slam position and hits him with knees, he goes to toss him but Rush hangs on and rolls him up, then hits a spinning kick to Dijak! Rush goes up and tries for the frog splash, but Dijak rolls over and catches him around the throat as he hits the mat! Chokebreaker attempt, but Rush rolls him up, 1, 2, Dijak rolls back through and hoists Rush up, then tosses him in midair, catches him in the torture rack position, and hits Feast Your Eyes for the pin. Donovan Dijak is your NEW #1 contender for the TV title. (Donovan Dijak over Lio Rush, Jonathan Gresham, Jay White, Alex Shelley, & Chris Sabin, pinfall, 8:46)

WORTH WATCHING? – They would have had to try to actively fuck this up, and they didn’t. YES, this was a ton of fun and I actually LIKE the way that ROH does scramble matches like this, because they’re always really fast and allow everyone to get their stuff in and show off. The Rebellion interference was really annoying and unnecessary, but I get that in the structure of the match, they wanted to give themselves an ‘out’ by taking 3 guys basically out of the match. I do question giving the shot to Dijak, who has already had a shot relatively recently, vs a guy like Lio Rush, who is awesome and should probably be getting that type of push. Dijak was certainly passable here, as he hit his big power stuff and showed off his ability to move and dive, so there is that. I’m sure that he’ll be fine in the challenger role.

No way in HELL he should win, though. Scurll should be champ forever.

Post-match, Dijak stares down Marty, as Scurll applauds him and taunts him with the belt. Kelly seems about to sign off, but he tells us that there’s a fight going on backstage, as we cut to the back and see that War Machine and Whitmer/Martinez are apparently still fighting from the beginning of the show. Sure. And that’s the end of ROH TV for the week.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Our streak of awesome ROH shows ends here with a mediocre effort. A lot of shorter matches this week, and even my recommendations outside the main event are pretty light, with most of them barely passing muster. The main event is really decent, the rest was mostly angle advancement and setting up stuff for down the road, and having a show like that isn’t the worst thing in the world.

As always, thanks for reading this thing I wrote,

Rick Poehling
@MrSoze on Twitter