Ring of Honor – September 28th, 2016

Howdy!

Let’s watch some wrestling, shall we?

Ring of Honor TV – 09/29/16

We are TAPED from Sam’s Town in Las Vegas, Nevada! Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino. This is the final show before All-Star Extravaganza, and we’ve got a hell of a main event tonight as Michael Elgin & Hiroshi Tanahashi take on Bullet Club members Adam Cole & Adam “Hangman” Page!

But we’re going to kick things off with one Mr. Silas Young! He makes his way to the ring and stops to mock a kid in the front row with a sign saying “It’s my birthday”; yeah! Be a heel, Silas! Now find a little old woman with an autograph book and rip it up! And there’s the music of his opponent…..Toru Yano? Well, this could be an interesting clash of styles, to say the least.

Toru Yano vs Silas Young

Yano throws his water bottle at Young before the match starts, so I’m going to count that as a ‘no’ to the Code of Honor. Lockup goes to the ropes for a break, and now Yano is having second thoughts about the whole Code of Honor thing, as he offers Young the handshake. Silas accepts….and Yano immediately rolls him up for two. Ha! Yano is definitely kryptonite for me, as I find his antics amusing. Yano hides in the ropes and begs off, then shushes the crowd when Silas turns to argue with the ref and nails Young on the top of the head with a chop. Yano bails to the floor immediately afterwards and leads Young on a chase around the ring, back in….and Toru bails to the floor again. Silas goes out again, Toru back in and when Silas comes back in, Yano hits an inverted atomic drop, sending Young back to the floor. Yano points at his head to indicate his superior brain power, and I just can’t help it, he looks like he’s having so much fun out there. He opens the ropes for Silas to get back in, and Young gets the apron and promptly nails Yano with a right hand. Young stops to jaw at the ref again, and Yano kicks the middle rope for the crotch shot. Yano is proud of himself, so much so that he does the RVD points to self pose too long, and Young clobbers him from behind. Stomps and shots from Silas, Irish whip but Toru catches himself on the top rope. Yano avoids a charge and goes to the corner to try to take off the turnbuckle pad, but those damned American pads confound him and Silas takes over again. Silas drops elbows and covers for two, and with that, we’ll drop out to watch these great ads!

We’re back with Young in control. Cross-corner whip by Silas, but he eats the buckle when Yano moves off a splash attempt, and Young gets tossed to the floor. Yano goes back to trying to remove the pad, but still it’s a mystery to him. The lightbulb goes on over his head, though, as he goes outside and gets a pair of scissors and cuts the buckle off. Young back in and he charges, Yano moves and Silas barely avoids going into the exposed buckle; but he turns around and Yano levels him with the pad! Yano points to himself again, but this time avoids the attack from behind, then does it again. They slug it out mid-ring, won by Silas. Irish whip by Young is reversed by Yano, who yanks Young down by the hair. Young gets back up and kicks Yano, who begs off now; he suckers Silas in and goes for a ballshot, but Young caught it. Cutter from Silas! 1,2, no! Young goes for Misery, Yano pushes him off but runs into a boot when he charges Silas in the corner. Second rope clothesline from Young is followed by a slingshot corkscrew suplex! 1,2, NO! Yano rolls to the floor and Silas attempts a cross-body over the top rope, but Yano just calmly takes a step back and lets Young wipe out. Young gets back in and charges Yano, but Toru moves and Silas hits the exposed buckle! Rollup by Yano! 1,2, NO! Young tries a go-behind but gets kicked in the nuts by Yano, small package for two. Yano is less than pleased and argues with the ref, allowing Young to kick him in the nuts from behind, then toss him into the exposed buckle and roll him up with the tights for the 1,2,3. (Silas Young over Toru Yano, pinfall, 8:43)

WORTH WATCHING? This one entirely depends on how easy a mark you are for Toru Yano. Just a comedy match, but Young’s persona excels at selling the ridiculous due to his straight-man character. I’m a shameless mark for Yano and I admit it; I just think he’s fun to watch in there. The wrestling was nothing to speak of, you’re watching this one strictly for the fun factor, and if that’s not your jam, no harm, no foul. Regardless, I will bestow the YES, this was fun to watch. If, however, you don’t like Yano, this one should be skipped.

Post-match, Silas goes a-beatin’ on Yano some more with some punches and chokes, and the Briscoes come out to make the save. Kevin Kelly reminds us (with helpful graphic!) that the Briscoes and Yano will take on ACH, KUSHIDA, and Jay White at All-Star Extravaganza in a first-round match for the ROH 6-Man tag title tournament.

Also at All-Star Extravaganza? Ladder War 6! Let’s go some comments from Christopher Daniels. “I’ve often said that I’m the smartest man in the room. And part of being the smartest man in the room is knowing what to say, so I could intimidate or I could infuriate my opponent.” But as we head towards All-Star Extravaganza, he’s realized that the best way to get his point across is to tell the truth. In pro wrestling, 23 years can be an eternity; he sees the other guys who started after him and are now retired, but he’s still here! And his thoughts turn to the end; is it close enough to touch? He knows all the cliches, that an athlete dies two deaths, and he expects that knock on his door to come any time! And, most importantly, he knows that there will come a time when he has his last championship match, that he’ll hand this belt to a referee, and he won’t get it back. Daniels is doing a PHENOMENAL job here. So, other competitors, can you imagine how tight your grip becomes, when you believe that if you let something go, you’ll never hold it again. He wants them to think about what parts of their humanity that they’re willing to part with to keep the things they hold dear! He’s been a father for 13 years, a husband for 23 years, but if all that disappeared tomorrow and he still had the ROH tag team belt, that would be worth it! Because the truth is, he’s a horrible husband, he’s a horrible father; the only thing he’s ever been good at is professional wrestling! This belt is the most important thing he’s ever held, because he’s measured his life by it! And a life without it is a life that he’s not interested in! So, September 30th, All-Star Extravaganza, with his best friend in the world at his side, against two of the best tag teams in the world, ask yourself; what will Christopher Daniels do to keep the thing he wants? And he’ll tell you; he’ll do ANYTHING. He’ll take any risk, because he’s going to defy the cliches, he’s going to be the guy who tells time to FUCK OFF; because this title is going to last forever. And at All-Star Extravaganza, Machine Guns, Young Bucks; the Addiction ends YOU. The camera fades to black as Daniels brandishes the belt.

HOLY SHIT. This was one of the best promos I’ve seen in, well, ever. Daniels sold every emotion necessary to get over the match, including the fact that there was fear behind his words as he thought about his wrestling career coming to a close. The idea that his entire identity was tied up in keeping the title while still seeing the grim reaper coming for his wrestling career was just so well done, I’m getting chills. I cannot, cannot, recommend this promo enough. Seriously. In fact, here’s a link to the ROH Youtube video of it:

Watch it. We’ll be back after these ads.

We’re back to the music of Cheeseburger, which just seems wrong on SO many levels after what we just watched. The last time we saw Mr. Burger, he’d been destroyed by Punisher Martinez as BJ Whitmer looked on. And oh GOODY, here comes Kevin Sullivan, BJ Whitmer, and the now rechristened “The Punishment” Damian Martinez. Oh man, Cheeseburger in the middle of the Sullivan/Whitmer/Corino angle? I can’t get this noose tied around the door frame fast enough!

Because I want to hang myself rather than sit through this.

Because it sucks. It horribly, horribly sucks. So much.

Kevin Kelly: “We’ve never seen anything like this in Ring of Honor before!” There’s a reason, Kev. See the previous sentence. And oh yay, Kevin Sullivan is going to join us for some guest commentary! Be still my beating heart! No, really. Stop working, heart.

Anyway, we’re apparently going to have a match here.

Cheeseburger vs “The Punishment” Damian Martinez

For the record, Corino and Sullivan start talking about the haze appearing from the darkness after 33 years, and Steve wants to know why Sullivan gave him to BJ Whitmer. And that’s as far as I’m going trying to recap this shit.

Code of Honor is not followed. Burger takes a few shots that are laughed off by Martinez, who catches him with a huge spin kick when Burger runs the ropes. Martinez beats on him in the corner with a few flying elbows. Burger tries to come back with palm strikes, but Martinez shrugs them off and puts Burger down with a big boot. Sitout chokeslam bounces Burger off the mat and we’re done here. (“The Punishment” Damian Martinez over Cheeseburger, 1:36)

WORTH WATCHING? – NOPE.

Post-match, Whitmer and Martinez beat on Burger some more while Sullivan and Corino spout nonsense at each other. Will Ferrara comes down for the save and gets the shit kicked out of himself as a result. Let’s cleanse our palates of that entire segment by watching these great ads!

We’re back as Corino is examining a golden spike in his hands while Kelly asks if that’s the same spike that was driven into his head and Corino asks if it means that he should meet him in the desert and then he says he will and Kelly tells us that Whitmer had more to say during the commercial break so let’s look at that and AHHHHHHHFUCKNONONO!! MAKE IT STOP. Whitmer says some shit, no one cares, and it finally ends.

Dear Ring of Honor: I’ve been a faithful fan for a decade now. I’ve paid money to attend your events. I’ve bought your DVDs and your merch. I constantly cite you as the best of all of North America when it comes to wrestling and recap your show each and every week on this here website because I truly, truly love what you do. Please, please, for the love of whatever God you believe exists; end this angle and never speak of it again. I’m flat out begging you.

Kelly tells us that before we get to our main event, we should run down the matches for All-Star Extravaganza. Yes, let’s do that. Here they are:

ROH Tag Team titles match, Ladder War 6 – The Addiction vs The Young Bucks vs The Motor City Machine Guns

#1 Contender Match for the tag team titles, 4-Corner Survival: War Machine vs Shane Taylor & Keith Lee vs The All-Night Express vs Dalton Castle & Colt Cabana

Six-man Tag title tournament round 1: The Briscoes & Toru Yano vs KUSHIDA, ACH, & Jay White

ROH TV Title match: Bobby Fish (c) vs Donovan Dijak – Fish cuts a quick promo on Dijak here, saying that the morning after ASE, he’s going to wake up a wiser man, albeit with a few less teeth.

Jay Lethal vs Tetsuya Naito – Lethal cuts a promo, promising to start his climb back to the top of ROH by whipping Naito’s ass.

ROH World Title match: Adam Cole (c) vs Michael Elgin – Cole promo now, as he tells Elgin there was a time and place where he looked up to him; but that changed when Elgin beat him for the ROH World title. But Elgin couldn’t handle it and fled to Japan, while Cole went through surgery after surgery, and he came back to win the title and be the best damn pro wrestler on the planet! At ASE, he gets to right a wrong and gets to prove that Elgin was never in his league.

Also listed for the show but not present in the rundown:

Hangman Adam Page vs Kyle O’Reilly

Kamaitachi vs Dragon Lee

That card looks stacked up and down; coming to finer Blog of Dooms everywhere this Friday, you get the BEST DAMN PPV preview from yours truly, before the big show! And while you start counting down the minutes until that happens, we might as well burn a few of them watching these great ads!

We’re back and we’ve been joined at the commentary booth by one Kyle O’Reilly! Man, way to suck up to me after all that Whitmer/Corino/Sullivan bullshit, ROH. Kyle is happy to be back on Ring of Honor TV; you and me both, buddy.

And there’s the music of the Bullet Club! The two Adams make their way to the ring as Cole stops to have some words for Kyle; Kelly reminds Kyle that he can’t do anything to the wrestlers from the commentary position, and Kyle maintains that he’s cool, just out here to watch. And here come Michael Elgin and Hiroshi Tanahashi! Big Mike’s still got the IWGP Intercontinental title; behold the awesome power of the pre-tape! This should be really good.

Adam Cole & “Hangman” Adam Page vs Hiroshi Tanahashi & Michael Elgin

Kyle admits on commentary that for once in his life, he’s rooting for Cole to retain against Elgin, because he wants to be the one to rip the ROH World title away from Cole. I also wish for this to happen.

Code of Honor is not followed, shocking no one. Cole and Elgin look to start, but Cole tags out to Page immediately. Page tries forearms on Elgin, but that no-worky well, as Elgin knocks him over with a shoulderblock. Cole comes in to help, but Mike just hits him in the jaw and sends him to the floor. Page tries to gain the advantage, but charges Mike and gets socked with a forearm, then Elgin with the delayed vertical suplex for a 30 count from the crowd before dropping Page. Crotch chop from Elgin to Cole on the apron, and we’ll see what happens next after these great ads!

We’re back with Tanahashi getting a springboard cross-body on Page. Tanahashi comes off the ropes and takes a knee to the back from Cole; he nails Cole with a right hand to send him to the floor, then gets a hiptoss on Page. He mocks the Adam Cole pose with some “Tanahashi, bay-bay!”, but Cole distracts the ref and Page goes to the eyes. Tana goes to the floor, and Page dumps a charging Elgin out there as well. Cole sets both guys up for Page, shooting star press off the apron onto Elgin and Tanahashi! Page gets Hiroshi back in the ring for some ground and pound while Cole sends Elgin to the post on the floor. Tag to Cole and he goes to work on Tanahashi, then mocks Hiroshi’s air guitar pose for some payback. Back to the Bullet Club corner as Cole tags Page back in, cutting the ring in half on Tana. They trade tags again, and Cole runs the ropes before going for the chinlock, immediately reversed by Tanahashi. Page comes in to cut that off and adds a shot to Elgin on the apron. Crowd chants for Tanahashi as Page gets tagged back in officially. Chinlock by Page, Tana fights out, Page looks for a suplex, Hiroshi floats over and turns another suplex attempt into a snap neckbreaker! Tag to Elgin! He kicks Page from the apron and slingshots in with a splash. Shot for Cole on the apron, then clotheslines in the corner for Page. Falcon Arrow by Elgin! 1,2, no! Front and back clotheslines by Elgin, off the ropes, Page catches him with a big boot, Page off the ropes and runs right into a discus punch from Elgin. Suplex attempt, Page floats over, they run the ropes, DDT by Page! 1,2, NO! And with that kickout, we’re out for our final ad break of the evening!

We’re back with Elgin and Cole in the ring now, Cole goes for the Panama Sunrise, Elgin escapes and gets an enzuigiri. German suplex to the buckles by Elgin! Tag to Tanahashi, and he’s a house afire on Cole! Cole reverses a cross-corner whip, Hiroshi comes flying out and takes him down with a forearm! Slam by Tanahashi, he goes to the second rope, somersault senton! 1,2, NO! They slug it out, with each man getting a slight advantage at various points, bicycle kick by Cole! Slap from Tanahashi! Superkick from Cole! Sling Blade from Tanahashi! Both guys are down. Both guys go for the tag….both make it! Elgin and Page now, Elgin with a VICIOUS delayed German suplex on Page! Nasty lariat from Elgin flattens Page, and Elgin bounces him off the mat with a powerbomb and stacks him up! 1,2, Cole makes the save! Hiroshi comes in and tosses Cole, then gets up on Mike’s shoulders, Elgin tries to slam Tanahashi onto Page! Page moves! Cole back in, superkick to Elgin! Elgin isn’t fazed! Another superkick! Elgin bounces off the ropes, lariat turns Cole inside-out! Elgin turns around into a slingshot clothesline from Page! 1,2, NO! Rite of Passage attempt is blocked by Elgin, who fires a discus punch at Page, then a chop and a big clothesline! 1,2, NO! Page is showing some resilience out there. But not enough, as Elgin hits the bucklebomb! Elgin bomb! 1,2,3! (Michael Elgin & Hiroshi Tanahashi over Adam Cole & Adam Page, pinfall, 12:23)

WORTH WATCHING? – You betcha. The match started off with a slower pace, but once we hit the home stretch of big moves one after the other, the intensity picked up and the nearfalls were great. YES, this one is worth your time. Just a good pro wrestling tag team match here, with big power moves and stiff shots. Elgin gets the pin to give him some momentum for Friday, which is the right call.

Post-match, Cole grabs the belt and tries to attack Elgin from behind, but Tanahashi prevents that, and we get a staredown between Elgin and Cole, with Kyle O’Reilly saying on commentary: “My final thought, gentlemen, is that whoever does win this match at All-Star Extravaganza is just keeping the title warm for Kyle O’Reilly!”

As Heisenberg would say, you’re goddamned right.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: A good episode of ROH TV this week, if you can ignore the god-awful Whitmer/Sullivan/Corino bullshit. A fun match to start and an excellent one to end, with a fantastic promo from Christopher Daniels in the middle and a lot of hype for Friday make this an easy thumbs-up all the way.

As always, thanks for reading this thing I wrote,

Rick Poehling
@MrSoze on Twitter