Wrestling Observer Flashback–03.26.90

Good god, Dave is still CAPSLOCKMAN this week. I don’t know where this came from, but hopefully it ends soon.

Next week I’m going to be away at a work conference so it’s doubtful I’ll be doing these much. I’ll try to do a few in advance on Sunday before I go and post-date them, but no promises.

– The injury to Arn Anderson is looking a lot worse than initially thought, and there’s probably nerve damage from the bad neck and he’s going to need a spinal tap.

– No, not that kind. Anyway, he’s going to be out at least a few months, and maybe even longer. Like for good.

– Tony Schiavone is returning to the NWA! After his WWF deal ends at Wrestlemania, he’ll be coming back to produce syndicated TV for Jim Herd and host Worldwide Wrestling. Basically Connecticut is REALLY expensive to live, so his money will go farther back in Atlanta. However, sucks to be Terry Funk right now, who was fired from the producer job, only two months after he got it, in favor of Tony. Dave thinks this kind of musical chairs behind the scenes is not a good sign.

– Wrestlemania VI is next week and closed circuit is a dead issue. Most locations in the US have sold 150 tickets or less and will be cancelled leading up to the show, but it’s still a hot ticket in Canada, where PPV isn’t a thing yet. Dave thinks that a 7% buyrate is certainly attainable, which would give them a $30 million gross. (We’ll get into that in a couple of weeks, but the word you’re looking for is “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.” It actually did a 4.5% buyrate, still good. )

– OK, so WM is basically a one-match show (13 matches of veggie appetizers and a steak from McDonalds on top, notes Dave). Everyone thinks Hogan is winning, and the WWF’s loud bitching about the screwjob on the last NWA PPV seem to indicate a clean finish will happen here. Even though the legdrop finish seems to be the most obvious conclusion, Dave thinks it might be bad for business. Remember, Superman and Batman don’t go out losers at the end of the episode. (Clearly written before Batman v. Superman came out.) Dave makes a pitch for Warrior winning, because then you can have TWO mega-houses every week, one with Hogan and one with Warrior. If Warrior loses, then he’s just a fella. Dave thinks that they’ll have plenty of practice time, and it should be above the level of Worst Match of All Time.

– Dave runs down the rest of his predictions for the show, and he’s pretty much dead on except that he thinks there’s zero chance of Beefcake beating Mr. Perfect.

– Superstar Billy Graham is doing a media blitz on the evils of steroids, not coincidentally around the same time as Wrestlemania. But even if the tour seems a bit self-serving and commercial, the message is still a valid one. (The world was about to become a very different place for wrestlers by the end of the year anyway.)

– In Portland, this Art Barr kid is really obnoxious on interviews. He comes across like a third-rate Tom Prichard doing a Roddy Piper imitation. Let’s immortalize that one.

– Meanwhile, Dave is amused by the comedic prowess of one Scotty the Body, who claims that Ricky Santana came to the country via Cuban Super Saver Express: An inner-tube and compass.

– To Japan, where’s there are cracks in the foundation of the UWF, as their last Budokan show had empty seats, which is a first for them.

– Say what you will about Jimmy Valiant being USWA champion in 1990, but his three week series against Jerry Lawler doubled the usual attendance, with all of their matches doing upwards of 3000 people instead of the usual 1500. Lawler finally did regain the title (although in Dallas he never lost it) on 3/12 to end the program.

– After a whole week of being subdued and humble in his return to Dallas, Eric Embry reverted back to his more familiar form by telling the director to take his finger and stick it up his ass when he was trying to get Embry to wrap up his interview. No one tells Embry when to wrap it up!

– The Lawler-Champion angle paid off on TV this week, as Champion came out with crutches and a neck brace, and when Lawler started making fun of him this time, Champion ripped off the brace and destroyed Lawler with the crutches.

– Although all the two-bit Roller Games leagues died in short order, the one cheesy pseudo-sport to survive was American Gladiators, and they’re renewed for a second season.

– Tully Blanchard is indeed working the AWA at the latest set of TV tapings. (No wonder he found Jesus after that.)

– Add Steve Allen to the list of “celebrities” for Wrestlemania.

– Akio Sato is already missing dates for the WWF, so they’re bringing in Paul Diamond as a backup partner for Tanaka just in case.

– Terry Taylor has given notice and will leave as soon as his contract expires, if not sooner.

– Crowd reactions from city to city continue to vary for the announcement of the Hogan-Warrior match, with responses ranging from cheers for both to boos for Hogan. Warrior is almost always cheered.

– If Dynamite Kid and Johnny Smith teaming up internationally as the British Bulldogs wasn’t confusing enough, Johnny is now going by “Johnny-Boy Smith” just to really mess with people.

– The Midnight Express have hit an impasse with the NWA and are apparently leaving when their contract expires in May. For reasons that have never been fully explained to anyone, Herd is obsessed with breaking up the team. In fact, they had already given notice in 1989 and were out the door, only to be saved at the last minute by the firing of George Scott, which resulted in them re-signing and doing the heel turn. The feeling is that Cornette is the really valuable piece of the puzzle, and the Express themselves is a necessary evil to keep around to keep Cornette happy. (I’m just as flabbergasted by this company as Dave was at the time, too.) As an example of “because WCW” in this situation, their heated program with Pillman & Zenk was recently cooled down when an angle involving a throat injury to Brian Pillman was pulled from TV because they didn’t want to promote “injuries to internal organs”. Meanwhile, Mean Mark returns from Japan soon, and what’s his finisher? A HEART PUNCH. So now, management has decided that they want to split up the team, and if it means losing Cornette as a side effect, then so be it.

– Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK, WCW?

– More details on the potential NWA purchase of the AWA that fell through: The NWA would have taken over the AWA’s syndicated timeslots and promotion, and Greg Gagne would have been hired as a front office worker for Jim Herd and promote in the Midwest, and Verne Gagne would become the figurehead commissioner on TV. However, the deal fell apart because Verne wanted them to keep the AWA World champion as a separate entity and not kill the brand. (I gotta say again, not signing that deal ranks with the stupidest things Verne ever did in his later years.)

– Paul E. Dangerously did tryouts with both WCW and the WWF as an announcer, but absolutely will not be back in a managerial capacity any time soon.

– The Samoans are back to Fatu & Tama again after Samu once again did whatever he does to get himself in the doghouse.

– Oliver Humperdink is negotiating to return to the NWA, managing Bam Bam Bigelow in a heel role once he returns from Japan. (Damn, THAT would have been a good first opponent for Sting!)

– So after some investigative journalism, it turns out that Michael Hayes was suspended for…COCAINE!

– Danny Spivey was supposed to be brought back as a singles challenger to Lex Luger and given the heart punch, but he’s somehow managed to get himself fired before even being booked for a show, so that whole deal is going to young Mark Callas instead.

– Buzz Sawyer was supposed to be back around now, but his wrist still isn’t ready.

– And finally, the NWA has opened up negotiations with Kerry and Kevin Von Erich, because at this point they’re like “fuck it, we need star power.” Dave thinks it could work out well because if he actually shows up for his matches, Kerry could be the guy Jim Herd gives the Long John Silver gimmick to. And Kevin can be Amelia Earhart.

And on that note, we’re out.

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