Wrestling Observer Flashback–11.16.85

Previously on Orange is the New Black:  http://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2016/05/18/wrestling-observer-flashback-12-05-85/

So it turns out that November was actually under May, so in fact I can go back and get Dave’s thoughts on the Wrestling Classic.  So I guess it’s a Wrestling Observer Flashback Flashback.

Also, be sure to check out the SquaredCircle subreddit, where some dude is RIPPING OFF MY GIMMICK.  Just kidding, he asked first and I think it’s cool that I’m inspiring others to snark on Dave’s retro snark, plus it’ll be months before I ever get close to 1991 anyway:  https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/4jyk66/wrestling_observer_rewind_2181991/

Jesus, guys my age should not be drinking coffee at 8:30PM.  I’ll probably end up doing 2 or 3 of these things tonight before the caffeine wears off. 

– Dave runs down the year-end awards criteria and notes that anyone who votes for JYD or Sgt. Slaughter risks having their ballot thrown out. 

– To real news, as the WWF presented the Wrestling Classic on this new “pay per view” thing, which Dave thought was a very good show that would not have offended him in the least to spend $12 on it.  Of course, he wouldn’t spend that money because he’s a SATELLITE PIRATE, but IF he did. Of course now he just orders everything and writes it off as business expenses. But back then this was basically just a part-time hobby for him.

To the review!

– First up, Dave actually calls it one of the best wrestling cards he’s seen all year and best WWF show he’s EVER seen.  The work was great, the announcing was better than usual, the pacing was excellent, the tournament wasn’t booked predictably, and Randy Savage was Randy Savage.  I think that a lot of that improvement in presentation and timing was 100% the Ebersol influence on the product, as he just doesn’t get enough credit for dragging Vince into the modern age.  Dave notes that he’s going to be more lenient with his ratings because it’s not the fault of the guys that they got stuck with 3:00 matches.

1.  Adrian Adonis pinned Cpl. Kirschner with a DDT in 4:00.  Match was horrible.  1/4* 

2.  Dynamite Kid pinned Volkoff with a missile dropkick in 6 seconds during the singing of the Soviet National Anthem. 

3.  Randy Savage pinned Ivan Putski using the ropes in 3:00.  Savage tried to carry Putski, but he’s only one man.  *1/4 

4.  Ricky Steamboat beat Davey Boy Smith by ref stoppage when Smith crotched himself on the top rope at 3:00.  It was excellent for as long as it went.  ***3/4  (that’s pretty goddamn lenient!)

5.  JYD pinned Iron Sheik with a headbutt in 3:00.  *3/4 

6.  Moondog Spot beat Terry Funk by countout in 0:17 in a wacky finish where Funk tried to talk Spot into walking out on the match, only to get accidentally counted out in the process.  Dave calls it “an abortion”.

7.  Tito Santana pinned Don Muraco with a small package in 4:00 after Muraco got a previous win with a powerslam and the ref saw Tito’s feet under the ropes.  ***

8.  Paul Orndorff beat Bob Orton by DQ for use of the cast in 7:00.  Bob was excellent here.  ***1/4

9. Dynamite Kid upset Adrian Adonis in 6:00 when Kid shoved Adonis out of a rollup and into Jimmy Hart.  Good match.  ***1/4

10.  Savage pinned Steamboat with brass knuckles (in the finish that would eventually be used for the IC title switch) in “as good of a match as you’ll see in the US” despite only being 4:00 long.  ****

11.  JYD pinned Spot with no ref, making the count himself for some reason.  DUD

12.  Tito went to a double countout with Orndorff in 8:00 in a dull match due to Santana possibly being injured in the first round.  *

13.  Hulk Hogan beat Roddy Piper by DQ in a predictable but fairly good match to keep the WWF title in 7:00 when Bob Orton interfered.  Dave thinks the HGH supply must be drying up because everyone is looking drawn out and tired lately.  ***1/4

14.  Randy Savage pinned Dynamite Kid with the famous superplex-into-cradle finish in 5:00 in another excellent short match.  ****

15.  JYD beat Savage by countout to win the tournament after backdropping Savage over the top at 9:00.  Savage was tremendous here, JYD less so.  ***1/2  Quite the night for Macho!

– Saturday Night’s Main Event #3 was the first non-travesty, so they’re really on a hot streak now.  Dave liked the Halloween comedy and pacing a lot, although many of his readers did not. 

1.  Terry Funk pinned JYD with the megaphone, but Dog branded Jimmy Hart’s ass to get his revenge.  Funk was excellent here.

2.  Andre & Hogan beat Studd & Bundy by DQ for no apparent reason.  Dave is really impressed with the pacing to compensate for the “masters of cardiovascular fitness” involved because they did 3:00 of strong brawling, then had a ref bump so they could rest for a commercial break, and then did another 90 seconds of strong brawling to bring it home.  Lots of people hated it, but Dave thinks that if you’re on network TV and have limited workers, then a little smoke and mirrors is perfectly acceptable. 

3.  Tito Santana went to a double countout with Randy Savage in 3:15.  Dave feels like Savage should have won the belt here because Tito means nothing as champion and Savage is suddenly red hot.

4.  Ricky Steamboat pinned Mr. Fuji with a dropkick in 1:45. 

Originally scheduled was Windham & Rotundo v. Sheik & Volkoff, but Windham has “flown the coop”, as everyone expected he would. 

– Rick McGraw suddenly died on 11/1 at age 30, due to “natural causes”.  In wrestling terms, that’s either a heart attack caused by steroids or ODing on pills while washing it down with booze.  Dave is getting quite concerned with all the guys dropping dead from “natural causes” in wrestling as of late.  You know, like David Von Erich.

– Dave is going to get a videotape of Starrcade 85 after it airs, but it looks like a bad show and he’s really only looking forward to Tully v. Magnum.  And even then he can’t stand Magnum! 

– Brody was on the most recent New Japan tour, but even then crowds were pathetic.  No wonder the TV network wanted the UWF guys back in the fold.

– Ken Mantell has bought into Mid-South after booking Dallas into the ground for the last few years, and Bill Watts will be stepping back a bit.  Hoo boy, I know I keep endlessly referencing Gary Hart’s book, but he absolutely BURIES Mantell for like two straight chapters, calling him an incompetent booker as well as a con man. 

– Speaking of Mid-South, this was the week where Dave reviews the famous Flair/Dibiase angle.  Well sort of, as he didn’t see the match and just heard that it was tremendous.  That’s an understatement. 

– Watts is thinking of doing a Junior heavyweight title in 86.  Dave notes that in order to get a belt like that over, you have to wrestle in a totally different style from the heavyweights.  Too bad it took 10 years for someone to figure that out.

– Gary Hart is now booking San Antonio, or what remains of the territory after Southwest folded. 

– Nick Kiniski, self-styled tough guy of the sport, tried to shoot on Toshiaki Kawada (a rookie from Japan at the time doing a US tour) and nearly learned a very painful lesson himself as a result.  That’s awesome. 

– Lance Von Erich finally debuted in World Class, and he’s actually a local athlete named Kevin Vaughan (at that point wrestling as Ricky Vaughan in PNW) who is “a steroid freak with the mental capacity of Kerry Von Erich.”  OUCH.  He’ll still get over big regardless. 

– Flair and Race had a match in Kansas City so bloody that Race was taken to the hospital for blood loss afterwards.  Yuck. 

– Memphis is way down (join the club, Dave notes) and their fate is basically in the hands of Jim Crockett, depending on who and when he sends for joint shows.

– Vince managed to get a deal with Fuji TV in Japan, because Fuji was promoting sumo matches in the US and ran MSG.  But because it said “wrestling” on the marquee, Vince has to give his blessing to allow it to run in the Garden, and he managed to get a TV deal in Japan in exchange. 

– In a sad bit of serendipity, Rick McGraw’s death came on the same weekend where the WWF was airing an angle with Roddy Piper beating the hell out of him on TV and supposedly injuring him.  Dave hopes that they don’t credit Piper with causing his death, but doesn’t put anything past them. 

– The reason for Barry Windham’s departure:  Lack of common sense runs in the family.

– Rookie Tom Zenk is getting a big push in Portland.  He’s no Jack Victory, I bet.

– Alexis Smirnoff got fired by Don Owen because he was a SPY for Vince McMahon.  Goddamn commies, always spying on people and shit.

– WWF has signed away Starship Eagle from Crockett and will be letting him wrestle under his real name of Dan Spivey.  Dave thinks he’ll be replacing Barry Windham.

– Leon White, who just debuted a week earlier, is in line for a big push in the AWA. 

– And finally, the Road Warriors appear to have made up with Verne, but Dave thinks they’re just gonna book as many dates between Crockett and Gagne as they can so they can make the most money before going to the NWA full-time once and for all.  They are indeed wise businessmen.