Previously on the Big Bang Theory:  http://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2016/05/06/wrestling-observer-flashback-02-04-85-part-1/

Japan and various territorial news to wrap up this month’s issue, including the most legendary Kerry Von Erich stupidity EVER.

– In All Japan, Riki Choshu’s Ishingun group debuted against the team of Tsuruta and Tenryu, and magic happened.  Dave thinks that Tenryu might even develop some charisma if these matches keep up like they are!  Also, the Bulldogs debuted and immediately looked great. 

– The UWF is so hard-hitting that Maeda has started giving guys one or even two days off between shows to recuperate.  Bunch of wussies.  Hulk Hogan used to do 380 shows a year, brother!

– Dave was impressed with Hulk Hogan’s work in a New Japan match, teaming with Samu.  He even broke a sweat! 

– In Hawaii, Lia Maivia somehow transcends political boundaries, as she features guys on loan from Inoki on an upcoming TV taping, but a main event of Flair defending the World title against Kerry Von Erich.  This is of course weird because the NWA is affiliated with All Japan at this point.  Dave also notes that Rocky Johnson, appearing on the show, is Lia’s son-in-law so he’ll be doing these shows regardless of his WWF status. 

– Matt Borne has decided to retire from Pacific Northwest Wrestling and work for a construction company.  And then literally two months later he was at Wrestlemania. 

– Hold on, World Class section…could it be?  WAIT FOR IT!  WAIT FOR IT! 

THIS WEEK IN KERRY VON ERICH STUPIDITY: LEGENDARY EDITION

So on the 1/7 Fort Worth show, Ric Flair defended the World title against Kerry Von Erich as usual, and they were booked to do a 60:00 Broadway.  However, the match wasn’t very good, and even local papers were pointing out that Kerry looked like he was on another planet.  So the first planted story saw Kerry claiming that his dog had been run over by a car earlier in the day and he was really upset about it and couldn’t keep his mind on the match.  Then, by the time the Saturday TV show aired, Kerry was sick and had a 104 degree fever and THAT’S why he was so distracted.  Dave doesn’t go into investigative mode here, but the true story came out later.  Turns out that Kerry got completely wasted earlier in the day, like booze and pills and god knows what else, and they actually found him passed out in his car shortly before the show was supposed to start.  So Flair literally has to go out there and wrestle himself, carrying a zombie-like Kerry through a 60:00 match (which only went 52:00, a discrepancy that even the papers noted) and featuring spots like Kerry trying a sunset flip and literally doing the move two feet away from where Flair was standing at the time. 

But, you know, David Von Erich died from bad sushi or whatever.

– Billy Jack Haynes is in the area now as a babyface, and won the TV title from Chris Adams, sort of.  Adams missed a TV taping because “his plane was fogged in Boston” (I bet that’s not all that was fogged), so Haynes faced Gino Hernandez instead, and won by DQ, so the referee awarded him Adams’ TV title.  Haynes has been teaming with Mike Von Erich otherwise, and it’s becoming a major problem because they can’t “hide” Mike in situations outside of six-man tags with his brothers.  Not only that, but it’s ruining their top heels (Jake Roberts and Gino Hernandez) when scrawny Mike puts them both away with the iron claw. 

– Nick Kiniski made his pro debut against Buck Zumhofe, and it’s readily apparent that it was too soon.  Both Kiniskis had potential, but just never panned out. 

– In Mid-South, we get the first Observer mention of young rookie Sean Michaels in Mid-South, as he pins Jack Victory. 

– Flair defended the World title on a pair of Mid-South shows in Oklahoma, but there’s no plans or indications of Watts joining the NWA. 

– Dave finds it ironic that Watts was busting on Kamala on TV when Kamala was in the WWF, but now that he’s in Mid-South they’re booking him as a super-effective monster again.  Well, that’s wrestling for ya.

– Watts actually brought Terry Daniels in as a prelim guy, trying to use him as a carrot to woo Sgt. Slaughter into the territory.  Slaughter, however, doesn’t want to come in because Duggan is already doing his patriot gig.

– Junkyard Dog recently jumped to the WWF, but Vince didn’t use him on a swing through Houston because Dog was under suspension in Texas for “something”.  Gee, I wonder why?

– To the AWA, where Bruiser Brody already flaked out and quit on Verne.  Dave points out that Verne has little room for complaint because he was still advertising Brody even on the shows where he knew that Brody wouldn’t be there.

– The Fabulous Ones have also quit, citing the fans booing them against the Road Warriors and fear of getting beat up for real by said Warriors.  Brody’s departure has set off a whole rash of no-shows (including the Fabs) and fans are pretty pissed about it.

– In Central States, Dave has started spelling Marty Jannetty’s name properly.  For those worried about it.

– The talk of Verne Gagne buying out Harley Race’s shares in St. Louis have fallen through, and now Jim Crockett might be the new bidder.

– In Georgia, Ole & Thunderbolt won the National tag titles, which gives Dave an early contender for Worst tag team of the year. 

– In Mid-Atlantic, Terry Funk is now full un-retired, working as a “bounty hunter” for JJ Dillon and feuding with Dick Slater. 

– Tully Blanchard, meanwhile, has a new valet named Baby Doll. 

– Billy Graham is doing the “full nelson challenge” gimmick, and his first foe was Eagle of American Starship, and in fact Eagle was so large that Graham couldn’t even get his fingers locked for the hold but managed to hold him anyway.  I wonder if Eagle ended up WAYLON for MERCY, know what I mean?

– Magnum TA is in now and getting a huge push, and might even end up with the US title pretty soon. 

– The bad blood between Brody and Gagne seemingly stems from Verne asking Brody to do a job to Jerry Blackwell, complete with Slaughter interference and his feet under the ropes at the time.  Unfortunately he didn’t mention that to Brody until 2 minutes before the match and it wasn’t gonna happen at that point.  So now the TV shows portray Brody as a coward who ran away from Slaughter. 

– Bob Geigel is claiming in newspaper articles that Vince offered to buy his KC territory, but then reneged at the last minute when asked to actually produce the cash.

– The 20/20 story, originally scheduled to air on 2/21, may be pushed back because ABC keeps finding new information to add.  Dave hears that this one will be NASTY. 

– Southwest Wrestling is on the verge of folding, with no money and no prospects for the future.

– Roddy Piper got arrested for drunk driving in Cincy on 12/16, and he got bailed out by Snuka and Tonga Kid.  Dave notes that Piper’s real name was listed as “Roderick Toombs” and his age was listed as 34. 

– Piper faces Hogan for the title on 2/18 in MSG for the MTV deal, and Dave thinks that if they’re smart, which they are NOT, they will change the title. 

– Windham and Rotundo did in fact win the tag titles on 1/21 in Hartford. 

– The joint AWA/NWA Meadowlands show continues to be a disaster, as they’ve had months to build it up and currently the only thing announced is Martel v. Garvin and Flair v. Race, plus a battle royale of some sort.  Plus Dave is pretty sure that Flair isn’t going to be there given the current relationship between Gagne and Crockett.

– And finally, Crockett has some kind of supershow called “The Lord of the Rings” planned for March.  Good thing no other promotions have a major supershow planned for March!  Because that would be AWKWARD.