Wrestling Observer Flashback–September 1984 Part 2

Previously on Daredevil… http://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2016/04/29/wrestling-observer-flashback-september-1984-part-1/

Although I don’t really recap the letters pages on these things, I should note that Observer readers HAAAAAAAAAAATE the Brutus Beefcake gimmick. He was like the Eva Marie of 1984 or something.

– Interestingly, Giant Baba was elected vice president of the NWA under Bob Geigel, but Dave notes that at this point the position is largely ceremonial and anything that actually needs to be done will be done by Terry Funk. That being said, the REAL seat of power is the secretary/treasurer position, held by Jim Crockett, because he signs the checks and books the World champion.

– The Freebirds are currently booked for a tour of Japan, but since they signed with the WWF it seems unlikely they’ll show up. Well, that ended up not being much of a WWF run anyway.

– Terry Funk is talking about coming out of (his first) retirement to compete in the annual tag team tournament for All Japan. Hopefully he can still hang in there.

– The UWF is trying a new style where all matches must be “strong style” and there must be a winner in every match – no draws or double countouts. Karl Gotch has been signed as the booker and trainer. Satoru Sayama has signed with the group, but changed his gimmick from Tiger Mask to Super Tiger to get around certain legal entanglements. So I guess we’ll need a new Tiger Mask?

– OK, over to New Japan where Vince McMahon held a press conference with Inoki and I think Dave’s head is going to literally explode recapping it. First up, Hogan had cancelled his tour of Japan, so Vince explained that Hogan was “too busy” to come to Japan, despite the fact that Hogan was literally SITTING RIGHT BESIDE HIM there at the press conference, in Japan. Second, with Hogan out, Vince announced that Greg Valentine would be taking his place on the tour. Third, Vince announced that with the new deal between the WWF and New Japan, they now control wrestling in “97% of the world” and you can just feel the rage with every keystroke Dave types. Also, Jack Tunney has been “elected” to be the new President of the WWF. Also, Vince is now joining with Fritz Von Erich in the wrestling war, and Dave immediately calls bullshit on that. Apparently while there in Japan, Vince taped interviews with Hogan and Andre, but not for New Japan, but rather for his own plans of starting a wrestling promotion in Japan on his own.

– Clarification on something from the last recap: Dave wasn’t just reporting the rumor about Hogan and Beefcake being brothers. The way he talks about Beefcake in this section, going back and reading the original passage now reads like the accepted truth is that Hogan and Ed Leslie are actually brothers in real life, and Dave didn’t believe that “Brutus Beefcakes” was the same person as Hogan’s real life brother Ed Leslie, because the physique and hair was different. So even Dave was accepting that rumor as fact at that point. So weird once I realized that was the original context.

– Speaking of odd relationships, this is nothing to do with the issue, but according to Gary Hart’s book, Jerry Jarrett is actually the bastard son of promoter Roy Welch, who was the father of Buddy Fuller, who in turn fathered Ron and Robert Fuller. So in fact the Jarretts and Fullers are all cousins! Gary has a very low opinion of the whole Tennessee scene, in fact, calling everyone involved a bunch of inbred hillbillies who are basically an embarrassment to the business.

– OK, back to business, as Calgary is now a Vince McMahon property (until he stiffed Stu Hart on his payments) and all the Japanese workers had to be sent home immediately. Dave feels like there’s a lot of value in retaining Stampede as a developmental territory to send guys who are past their shelf life, and then notes that of course it wouldn’t happen.

– Down in the Southwest, people are growing increasingly discontent with the payoffs, and Al Perez walked out on a show over a pay dispute for example. No-shows got so bad for one show that Lou Thesz, who was there doing some training of rookies, got pressed into service and actually wrestled a match at 68 years old! Didn’t look half bad, either.

– Another very minor note, but I notice that as of this issue, Dave has basically switched to “heel” and “babyface” for the designations. He had been previously using terms like “good guys” and “bad guys”.

– In World Class, a rookie female wrestler who is a “punk rock lady giant” is making a name for herself, since she’s 5’10”. Currently she’s Nicola Roberts, but she’d quickly jump to JCP as Baby Doll.

– Jake Roberts is in World Class, but Dave sadly notes that even after a month of not wrestling Ronnie Garvin, he still sucks.

– In the AWA, the mental giant duo of Verne Gagne and Ole Anderson have devised the ultimate plan to get back at Fritz Von Erich: The Road Warriors are going on AWA TV and calling the Von Erichs a bunch of CHICKENS. Dave is pretty sure this isn’t going to sell any tickets in Dallas.

– In St. Louis, Harley Race is now trying to portray himself as an All-American babyface, complete with light shows for his entrance, since he runs the promotion and all. However, the problem is that just a few weeks earlier, he was a heel making some very dubious racial remarks about Iceman Parsons to build a match between them.

– In Memphis, the historic first taping of Pro Wrestling USA is taking place as Dave writes this very report, featuring the Fabs, Road Warriors, Lawler, Martel, Rock & Roll Express and others.

– Randy Savage turned babyface and is now teaming with Lawler to oppose Rick Rude & King Kong Bundy. The Lawler-Rude feud is juicing attendance pretty good in general.

– In Continental, Vince tried an invasion and got spanked, only drawing 300 people to a show in Phoenix City, Alabama, whereas the Fullers generally draw 3000 or so per show.

– In Florida, Kevin Sullivan gets the honor of being the first guy to try and rip off the insanely successful Precious v. Sunshine feud, as he introduces a pair of valets to plant the seeds. Dave doesn’t know names other than one being called “Lock”, but the picture earlier in the issue is clearly a young Nancy and someone else.

– Ole’s Georgia group drew 5000 to Baltimore on 8/11, which wasn’t great, and they’re coming back in October with Flair vs. Race in a cage match, which is kind of desperation on their part.

– Nick Patrick is being forced into service as a wrestler again, because Ole doesn’t have enough regular refereeing work for him and Scrappy McGowan.

– Dave gleefully notes that the WWF has cancelled shows in Memphis, Louisville and Nashville for September, and if they’re smart, THEY WON’T COME BACK.

– Private Terry Daniels, who jumped to the WWF and was a legit Marine, was told by the Marines not to wear his uniform on TV any longer because it was a disgrace to the Marines to wear it for commercial purposes.

– Eddie Sharkey actually has jumped to the WWF, and will start training rookies for Vince instead of Verne. Dave feels like this is a positive, because then he can make them terrible wrestlers early on instead of waiting until they’re established to screw them up like Vince does.

(And people say I’M snarky?!?)

– Bobby Heenan will be joining the WWF machine shortly. And just after Verne ordered a whole bunch of “Weaselbusters” shirts to spoof Ghostbusters, too. Dave notes that when Vince signs someone just to fuck with your merch sales, you know he’s got no mercy.

– With rumors flying that Fritz is going to make a run of it in Minny, suddenly the World Class show on the local St. Paul station is getting mysteriously pre-empted for other sports, or the tapes are mysteriously damaged beyond the point of usability.

– Update on Bobby Heenan: He actually jumped without giving notice and is already in the WWF as we speak. Jim Brunzell will be following him in. Verne did an angle on TV where Heenan was announced as “suspended for life”, which caused Dave to quip that he wished Rod Trongaard would also be suspended.

– On the opposite side of things, Terry Gordy is already sick of Michael Hayes getting all the attention in his bid to be a rock star for the WWF, and wants out, which ended the Freebirds’ epic run after a total of one show. According to Dave here, the Freebirds were actually going to beat Adonis & Murdoch shortly into their run and win the tag titles, but now that’s likely out the window because Baba wants to develop Gordy into the next Hansen/Brody type.

– At the very least, Pro Wrestling USA has a strong TV deal, as they’re paying $8000 a week to air on WPIX and the cost is being covered by sponsorship.

– Hulk Hogan is scheduled to be a guest VJ on MTV on 9/25. Dave is confident that given an hour of TV time, he’ll have plenty of opportunity to contradict everything he’s ever said about his career previously.

– After watching the TV taped in Poughkeepsie, Dave is pretty sure that David Sammartino is just not gonna make it, and Bruno is going to feel betrayed when his son’s big push gets derailed as a result.

– Jesse Ventura was scheduled to work with Hulk in main events in the Northeast, but had to be rushed to hospital in California for a mysterious ailment that will keep him out of the ring for the foreseeable future. That was his health problems stemming from Agent Orange exposure, I believe.

– The first ever Hulk v. Piper match takes place 10/6 in Boston.

– Larry Z will not actually be joining the WWF, because there was too much bad blood over how the last run ended.

– Mr. Wrestling II had apparently signed with Vince, but changed his mind at the last minute and will stick with Alabama for now.

– The increasingly desperate Southwest promotion has been running “catfight cage matches” between Evelyn Stevens and Sue Greene, where both woman end up stripped down to bikinis, but they aren’t drawing anymore. The solution, according to the bookers? Substitute a new trainee for Sue who has more to offer in the boobies department. Wholesome family entertainment, declares Dave, before going on a disgusted rant about how they’re actually killing off the teenager and adult female demos with this nonsense. On the bright side, the matches couldn’t possibly be any worse than Rebel v. Shelly Martinez.

– Dave brings the CONSPIRACY HEAT, as the WWF and NWA were running opposing shows in Miami on 9/22, with Piper v. Andre on one side and Flair v. Dusty on the other. So the Miami Herald prints results, which includes Dusty supposedly beating Flair for the NWA title, and Dave freaks out because now he has to redo the whole Observer and yell about Crockett being a complete moron for doing that change. But then it turns out that “someone” called into the paper with false results, although he just can’t think of any suspects who might want to sabotage the NWA’s media coverage. And then he’s like “Actually, it was probably just a prank.” Calm down there, Dave!

– And finally, Inoki is kind of fucked, because after paying Vince all that money for booking fees, he suddenly couldn’t afford to pay a bunch of big stars, and Baba jumped in and signed all the Ishingun guys (including Riki Choshu) and now it’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG in Japan. Dave’s so pumped that he’s going to continue doing the newsletter after all, although prices are going to increase from $2 if there’s still 30 pages of news every month. Jesus f’n Christ, there’s $2 worth of news packed into the last three or four paragraphs alone!

NEXT TIME! We jump ahead three months and begin the first ever ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA!