Repackaging Cesaro

Why haven’t they gone with the highly trained assassin/mean European bastard Cesaro yet? I mean, they have Jason Statham and all 1000 of his movies for reference right there. Just let him rock a suit, show him arriving to the arena in a sweet BMW, and have him kill people in the ring with springboard European uppercuts. The first Transporter movie came out like 13 years ago, so it should be showing up on Vince’s radar anytime now right?

But hey, I suppose if that’s too obvious, maybe they can go with the Swiss Cheese Cesaro? Rolls right off the tongue. You can have guys cutting promos backstage, only for them to stop mid-sentence and be like, “…you smell that ?” The camera pans to reveal a grinning Cesaro doing the machine gun thing with his arms.

OR if THAT SOMEHOW doesn’t work, pair him with the Big Show. Show can walk around the arena with Cesaro under his arm like a 2 x 4, then prop that Swiss Stepping Stone up and punch him in the face prior to matches so the fans know he’s a legit threat.

In your estimation, which of the above do you think would make the company the most money?

OK, NOW I can admit that the Cesaro  jokes have jumped the shark.