Monday Nitro – October 25, 1999

Date:
October 25, 1999

Location:
America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona

Attendance:
9,630

Commentators:
Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We’re
finally past Halloween Havoc and as usual with pay per views, a lot
has changed. First up would seem to be Goldberg coming out as both
United States and World Champion, but only the former is for sure.
After Hogan laid down against Sting for no apparent reason, Goldberg
beat the champ in an open challenge, which may or may not be for the
title. Tonight we should find out what’s going on so let’s get to
it.

A
paintless Sting is walking through the back (I’m been skipping a lot
of these segments as they’re literally just people walking) and
shouting for JJ Dillon while throwing things all over the place.

Opening
sequence.

Sting
heads to the ring and calls out JJ Dillon, because last night he
issued a challenge for a fight, not a title match. Dillon comes out
and Sting repeats most of what he already said but throws in that he
was trying to bail them out of a bad situation with Hogan. Why do I
have a bad feeling that’s the extent of Hogan information tonight?.
The title was never on the line, so Sting wants his belt back. JJ
agrees that the title wasn’t on the line, because WCW never
sanctioned that match. Therefore, the title is vacant due to Sting
attacking the referee after the match.

Oh
come on. That’s some very convenient enforcing of the rules given
what half the roster gets away with on a regular basis. Also ignore
the fact that it wasn’t even in a match so why should it have any
impact on th…..never mind. I’m staying out of the quicksand that
is WCW/Russo logic. There’s going to be a 32 man tournament and
Sting can be a participant. That earns Dillon a beating until
Goldberg comes out for the save.

Here
are the brackets.

Bret
Hart

Goldberg

Perry
Saturn

Eddie
Guerrero

Norman
Smiley

Bam
Bam Bigelow

Kidman

Konnan

Total
Package

Rick
Steiner

Diamond
Dallas Page

David
Flair

???

Madusa

Brian
Knobs

Sting

I’m
sure we’ll see the other half later, because I’m sure it’s completely
prepared at this point. Also Madusa is now a man? JJ specifically
said 32 MAN tournament.

The
Outsiders are here with a cooler but Mike Graham comes up and tells
them they have to wrestle tonight. Nash’s retirement isn’t addressed
because that’s in the old regime or something.

Norman
Smiley says last night’s match was amusing and thinks Bigelow is
tough. Oh and he likes to dance. If Russo being in charge means
more short interviews for people who don’t often get TV time, maybe
he’s not all bad.

Norman
is terrified so Bigelow decides this is going to be a hardcore match.
Bigelow throws in weapons as Norman hides behind the referee, only
to get hit in the head with a broom. He puts the trashcan on
Norman’s head but Norman kind of headbutts him and falls with a low
blow ala Sting. It’s time to dance before Norman quickly covers
Bigelow for the pin. This was a mess and didn’t even break ninety
seconds.

Hall
and Nash are in the back and Nash says he can’t work. Hall says he
can’t comment until the top of the hour. He won’t listen to Mike
Graham either.

Recap
of the Filthy Animals vs. Ric Flair.

Here
are the Filthy Animals with Torrie sporting a shiny silver outfit
that Kidman really seems to enjoy. Eddie talks about how WCW will
never be able to break the team up. Now Ric Flair has been coming
after them, so look at this tape to see what happened. The video
show Ric being dragged away to what looks like the desert and being
buried in sand. Egads this is really happening.

Kidman
says Flair is done and Harlem Heat is next. Mysterio cuts him off
from swearing and gives the mic to Konnan for some bad catchphrases,
one of which involves the Filthy Animals being in heat. Cue Malenko
and Saturn to destroy the Animals, but Torrie runs off, only to get
caught by Shane Douglas and Asya. Well they tried to murder Flair so
I’m not sure I can sympathize with them when one of their members is
kidnapped.

Curt
Hennig doesn’t like the Powers that Be and if he gets pinned he’s
fired. Why you ask? The better question is why would you ask “why
you ask?” You should know by now that you’re never getting a clear
answer to most of the logical questions this show brings up.

The
Outsiders drink coffee, potentially to sober Hall up.

If
Hennig gets pinned he’s fired. Hennig hammers away in the corner to
start and hiptosses Lash across the ring for two. Disco Inferno
comes out to praise Lash on commentary but gets interrupted by Curt
ramming Lash into the table. They head back inside with Hennig
getting two off a knee lift as this is a total squash so far, meaning
you can expect a swerve soon. Lash comes back with some right hands
and dropkicks before loading up Whiplash, only to have Hennig hit the
referee for the DQ. Well he didn’t get pinned.

Hennig
lays out Lash and Disco with a chair.

The
Filthy Animals are looking for Torrie.

A
limping Bret Hart arrives.

Here
are the Nitro Girls for the Nitro Girls search stuff but Jeff Jarrett
comes out to interrupt. Jeff threatens to stroke each one of them
and says this tournament is a big work. See, he’s the next champion
and if Luger disagrees, he can take the Lex Express out of town.
Amazingly enough, no one responds to the five year old reference. Oh
and he didn’t hit Elizabeth last week. Their big plan to get Jarrett
over as a heel is to break up the Nitro Girls stuff? He’ll be out
popping Goldberg in two weeks at this rate.

Sid
says the war with Goldberg is far from over.

Saturn
threatens to make Torrie disappear if the Animals interfere. The
Animals leave but Eddie jumps him from behind for the early
advantage. He goes after the leg as the fans are entirely behind
him, because I guess they see kidnapping Torrie as a good thing.
Guerrero uses his wrist tape to tie the leg to the ropes for some
hard kicks but Saturn quickly rips it off.

A
hot shot and gutbuster change control though and Saturn cranks on an
abdominal stretch. Eddie’s ribs are draped over the top rope before
they head outside with Saturn whipping him into the barricade.
They’re flying through this as you can almost feel the shenanigans
coming. Cue David Flair with a crowbar to nail Eddie in the ribs,
setting up the Rings of Saturn to give Saturn the win.

Rating:
C. That’s the match of the
night isn’t it? At the end of the day, you need more than four
minutes to get anything special going and even guys like Saturn and
Guerrero can only only do so much. The David Flair stuff makes sense
as he would be upset at Torrie and doesn’t want her to be rescued,
but it’s another case of throwing so much into one show that you
can’t process it all.

Saturn
runs from the invading Animals.

Hall
and Nash don’t want to fight so they come up with ways of shutting
down the show. Nash’s
best idea: strip naked in the ring.

The
Revolution has Torrie held hostage in a secret location. Does anyone
ever think of just flagging down the cameraman and asking where they
just came from? Malenko
walks out of the room but Benoit jumps him behind and lays wastes to
him, clearly swearing without being censored.

Here
are the Outsiders, potentially for stripping. Hall does the Survey
and says they’ve been partying in Vegas, but had to come here for the
real party. Nash says no
one is going to tell them what to do, but Goldberg pops up to
threaten them with violence later in the night. The Outsiders jumped
Goldberg before the Sid match last night so we have Goldberg’s next
feud. We don’t have an explanation for Nash’s retirement before
forgotten but you can’t have everything. Or anything around here
these days actually.

Here
are Randy Savage and Gorgeous George, clad in sparkly red attire
because it makes George look good and Savage look…..well like
Savage actually. Savage
says it’s been awhile but Russo and the rest of the vultures in the
back aren’t going to see him hang himself on live TV. However,
George is right when she says he’s well hung.

You
can’t kill off the Macho Man like
you did Hogan and Flair. The
yellow and red and Space Mountain have played themselves out but
Savage is still legit. It’s
time that he passes the torch to the next superstar to win World
Titles, set ratings records
and be even better than he was. I
don’t think he would be seen for another six months.

The
Animals find the Revolution’s dressing room (hint: it was labeled
REVOLUTION) but there’s no Torrie.

The
Revolution tries to get Malenko to chill.

And
it’s Meng. I’m assuming there’s a joke here that I’m not smart
enough to get. Madusa fires off punches and kicks which are sold as
well as an air conditioner at the North Pole. Meng goes after her
but stops to look at her chest, earning him an eye poke. So this is
a comedy match? Some choking and a missile dropkick have no effect
on Meng so she jumps on his back, gets flipped over and the Tongan
Death Grip is good for the win.

Evan
Karagias of all people comes out to check on Madusa, but Dean Malenko
comes out to challenge Benoit to a last man standing match tonight.
There’s no connection between Malenko and Karagias. Russo just
doesn’t know what it means to wait a second.

Nash
is taping up.

Curt
Hennig and Brad Armstrong are backstage. Brad has been told to leave
until he finds a personality and the Powers that Be suggest he call
his little brother. I’m getting a headache and we’re not even
halfway done with this mess.

Bret
has his leg looked at.

Please
keep up the short trend here. We get the full monty of WCW’s bad
production here as Tony asks for stills of Bret vs. Lex, has to stall
for about 45 seconds before they come up, has to ignore Rick
Steiner’s music starting and stopping during the stills, and then we
miss the opening of the match because of Benoit vs. Steiner stills.
I mean dude, even TNA has their stuff together better than this.

Luger
hammers on him to start with his usual array of kicks and forearms as
Jarrett comes out to do commentary. Steiner fights back and sends
Luger into the buckle as Jeff talks about how he didn’t attack Liz
last week because he isn’t that kind of a man. Tony brings up the
WWF but Jeff says these are different days. Jeff goes after Liz but
Luger makes a save, only to have Jarrett’s guitar shot hit Steiner by
mistake. Liz freaks out so Luger checks on her, only to drop her so
he can beat the ten count back in to win another short (sweet) match.
This would be about three weeks’ worth of story crammed into a few
minutes.

Liz
isn’t happy.

Konnan
threatens to hurt the Revolution if they harm Torrie and also speaks
on cheese.

Benoit
tapes his hands.

Time
for a stable battle. Konnan takes over quickly and snapmares Kidman
down, setting up a basement dropkick. That’s not cool with Kidman
and they slug it out until Konnan hits the rolling clothesline. The
X Factor is countered with a BK Bomb for two but the referee is
bumped, as per Russo requirement. Cue Harlem Heat to lay out both
guys with finishers, though Stevie doesn’t actually go off his feet
on the Slap Jack. Mysterio and Guerrero try to make a save but
Kidman rolls over onto Konnan to advance. This looked like a back
door out of having partners fight, but more than likely Russo had no
idea what he booked.

Eddie
has to calm Konnan and Kidman down post match. Konnan agrees and
wants a Tag Team Title shot tonight against “these two mark punk
busters.”

The
Outsiders are wondering who they’ll be facing in their big, and I’m
sure totally serious, match. Maybe the Bushwhackers or the
Kangaroos?

Quick
look back at Bagwell being annoyed at having to job last week.
Seriously, that appears to be the story they’re going with.

Here’s
Bagwell for a chat. He’s going to start breaking all the rules and
doesn’t care about all the sacred things in this business. Last week
was the last time he’ll do a job (oh here we go) for the two idiots
in the back writing this nonsense. Cue the Harris Brothers in the
soon to be named Creative Control gimmick to beat Bagwell down. This
would be the worked part after the real stuff you heard from Buff.
There are a lot of problems with this, but if you don’t know what a
job is in wrestling terms, doesn’t it sound like Bagwell just quit?

Last
man standing for reasons that aren’t really explained and
both guys are
in street clothes. They
slug it out to start and tumble out to the floor with Benoit being
sent into the barricade over and over. That
goes nowhere so they get back inside, only to have Benoit crotch
Malenko against the post. That’s not something Benoit would normally
do.

Chris
chops away in the corner before a belly to back suplex sends Malenko
down. They’re both up at six so Benoit rolls some Germans, only to
get kicked low. Dean tosses
him over the top and out to the floor for
more whips into the barricade. Back
in and Benoit suplexes him down again for a short count before a
double clothesline puts both guys down but only Benoit beats the
count.

Rating:
C-. This is Vince Russo in a
nutshell: a last man standing match announced with maybe half an hour
notice that gets seven minutes and ends with a clothesline because we
need to get on to all the other AMAZING things he has planned for us,
like three minute nothing matches. How did adding a gimmick to this
match help? Benoit and Malenko can have a good match with each other
in their sleep but they have to add in a last man standing gimmick
for the sake of adding one in, thereby making it look like a less
important gimmick going forward. Well done in just seven minutes.

Post
match the Filthy Animals come out but Douglas (with his arm in a
cast) and Saturn show up on stage with Asya holding Torrie. Shane
babbles about hurting Torrie and Dean is allowed to leave. The
Animals chase after him and get to the parking lot where both groups
speed away. I guess this is action adventure or something? Also,
no explanation for why Malenko did what he did last night. I’m not
expecting any reason after this point.

Two
ball bat shots to the chest for the pin
in thirteen seconds. Yeah
that’s going to keep Sting a heel. To
recap, the brackets said Sting vs. Knobbs, Tony said Sting vs.
Morrus, Sting actually fought Knobbs. Conclusion:
Tony Schiavone is incompetent.

The
Outsiders talk strategy for later.

Bret
Hart has a hairline fracture but is going to fight Goldberg anyway.

Harlem
Heat is defending. Stevie
hammers Konnan down to start and stomps Kidman on the apron. All
hail King Stevie. More
pounding ensues until Konnan clotheslines both champs down for a
breather. Off to Kidman but he eats a clothesline as well to give
Stevie control again. It’s
quickly back to Konnan with Booker taking over with right hands and a
side slam. The champs start
double teaming Konnan as
I guess they’re heels tonight, despite the fans being all over the
Animals earlier in the night.

Stevie
knees him down and cranks on an armbar. Back
to Booker who misses the ax kick, allowing the hot tag to Kidman. A
quick Dudley Dog staggers Booker but Stevie comes back in to set up a
Hart Attack with a Harlem Side Kick instead of a clothesline. Konnan
gets back up and goes after Booker, allowing Kidman to load up
another Dudley Dog, only to have Stevie counter with a bridging belly
to back suplex, but Kidman raises his shoulder for the pin and the
titles.

Rating:
D+. Well
that happened. Was there any reason to not just give Kidman and
Konnan the belts last night? Other than a “shocking” title
change that is? The match was nothing to see, again mainly due to
time, even though this was one of the longer matches of the night at
just over five minutes. Sign
of the Russo times: that’s the third title change, not counting the
belts being vacated, in eight days.

Goldberg
says he’s always been brutal and the match with Sid was just showing
that side.

Kimberly
grabs the mic and starts up the catchphrases in that great acting
voice of hers. Page wants Flair out of the ring and grabs him by the
neck before kissing him on the cheek. He
makes the mistake of turning his back on the crazy man though,
allowing David to get in some crowbar shots. Kimberly gets in to
call David off and he leaves as Page is looked at by medics. No
match.

The
Outsiders are in street clothes. Cue
the Harris Brothers…..who step aside so a bunch of porn chicks can
come out, one of which
appears to be smuggling basketballs in her shirt. The
bell rings and my goodness they’re actually doing this. Tony:
“The Powers that Be are looking for ratings and they’re going to
get them!”

Hall
starts with the blonde but doesn’t know where to put his hands. She
headlocks him into her chest and this is dying before my eyes. More
“comedy” ensues and Hall does the Flair Flop, earning him a
spank. The fans clap for
the hot tag and Nash is all fired up for the other blonde. He
gets the laughably enhanced brunette but both Outsiders lay down for
a double pin. You think I’m rating this?

Goldberg
comes out to clean house before the brunette can take her top off.

This
is for Goldberg’s US Title for no apparent reason. Bret
limps down to the ring because of the leg injury over the last few
weeks. Goldberg takes him
into the corner and gives a clean break. Instead
it’s the gorilla press into a powerslam to plant Bret but Goldberg
doesn’t want to follow up.

A
leg lock has Bret in trouble but he’s right next to the ropes. Bret
gets dropped again as this is coming off like an angle instead of a
match. Goldberg stomps away
in the corner and pulls Bret out by the leg. Another
leg lock makes Bret scream so Goldberg lets go and demands that the
referee stop it. Bret says keep going so Goldberg throws him back
to the mat.

Goldberg
charges into the good foot in the corner and Bret puts on a sleeper.
That goes as well as you
would expect with Goldberg throwing Bret onto the referee. Hart
is thrown outside so cue the
Outsiders and Sid (in his gear due to reasons of insanity) to
lay Goldberg out. Somehow
the referee looks at this and doesn’t call for a DQ, allowing Bret to
crawl back inside for the pin, even though Goldberg was sitting up
when Hart got back in.

Rating:
D+. This was kind of a mess but
not as bad as it could have been, again due to having more time
(nearly EIGHT minutes!).
However, it does make the events of last night seem like a big waste
of time. Was there any reason to have Luger make Bret give up if
Bret is winning the US Title here? Or to have Goldberg win two
titles in one night and then lose both twenty four hours later? What
a mess, but this was one of the less messy messes of the night.
Also, this is another
potential Starrcade main event thrown away for free on TV. Yeah
there would be a rematch, but this wasn’t really making me want to
see them again.

Here
are the updated brackets for the first half of the tournament.

Bret
Hart

Perry
Saturn

Norman
Smiley

Kidman

Total
Package

Diamond
Dallas Page/David Flair (no winner so it’s not clear)

Meng

Sting

What
a glorious set of options.

Overall
Rating: F. When the best things
I can think of on a show are Torrie and Kimberly looking good, you
can tell it’s been a waste of three hours. The
title matches ranged from a
series of quick ways out of having a match to adding angles to
matches so Russo can cram every single thing he can think of into the
show. It’s been said that
Russo wants nothing to do with wrestling and that was never more
clear than here.

One
thing he does love though is the Filthy Animals, who were all over
this show. Their story made
sense for the most part, but it’s very clear that the audience is
already having problems with who they’re supposed to cheer for.
That’s the shades of gray idea that Russo likes to use, which still
doesn’t seem to work 90% of the time.

This
was a huge mess with WAY too much stuff going on to keep track of
anything. I watched this show over the span of about twenty four
hours and I’m struggling to remember half of what happened on it.
None of the things you see
has the chance to stick with you because they have to get on to the
next idea. There was a line from HHH when he was on Austin’s podcast
that would really serve Russo well: there’s always next week. It’s
ok to let something play out on one show and do something next week
(or on Thunder to make that show actually mean something for a
change).

Here’s
the thing: yeah the WWF is pretty lame right now with all the sports
entertainment nonsense, at least it made sense and had the charisma
to carry things through. This
show feels like someone watched Raw and said “I CAN DO THAT!” and
got a job running a wrestling comp……oh dear goodness that’s
pretty much what happened isn’t it? Maybe this is Russo getting his
first ideas out of the way early and it’ll get better later, but for
now though, the Russo Era is terrifying.

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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