Monday Nitro – September 27, 1999

Date: September 27,
1999

Location: Phillips
Arena, Atlanta, Georgia

Attendance: 11,919

Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

It’s time to continue
into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a
major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face
Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times
that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually
hyped it up. I’ll come back to that later. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan
arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on
him and speaks in a kid’s voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the
genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat.
They’re changing the main event aren’t they?

Quick recap of last
week’s major events.

The announcers preview
the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long
night.

Tenay tries to talk to
Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.

Sting says he isn’t
done with Hogan tonight.

Before
the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a
mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and
he isn’t putting up with this nonsense. That’s quite out of nowhere.

The
ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a
modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot
and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller
immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge
into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on
his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it
probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as
Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip
gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.

For a change of pace,
Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup
tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo’s standings.
Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline,
only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn’t think
enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller’s loaded shoe kicks Onoo by
mistake and it’s the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and
Crossface to retain the title.

Rating:
D+.
It’s nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended
as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun
thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he’s
annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see
them get what’s coming to them, and that’s what you saw here.
Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.

Sid has chokeslammed
and powerbombed a lot of people.

Thank
goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a
kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein
of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really
vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip
before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro’s hurricanrana is
countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending
him into the steps.

A
chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial
hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is
just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and
Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head
to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the
Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff’s face push starts and will
take him up the card right?

Rating:
D.
These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There’s no reason
for them to be taking place, they don’t go anywhere, and the best
part about them are Heenan’s rants about how stupid so much of this
stuff is. That being said, I’ll take this a hundred times in a row
over the Clowns in the ring again.

The
announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which
sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There’s a
window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the
best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won’t be lasting long.

And
now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy
in the main event tonight. He’s laying in a casket but his ghost
appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We
cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws
flowers into a grave. It’s off to the arena with the woman in black
being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to
reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package.
Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn’t have wrist tape.
Literally, identical other than the tape.

Hogan is having his
knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.

Douglas
tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn’t want “his kind
of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave
but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio
sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They
start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into
a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.

Malenko
is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the
floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for
two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big
sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the
Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive.
Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin
before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.

Rating:
B-.
Of course this match doesn’t get any time because we need to see
Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn’t enough.
Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show
gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten
minutes of this but that’s simply not allowed in WCW.

Malenko
shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.

Time
for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts
out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out
to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg
takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge
Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer
a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak
in for a chair shot to the back.

A top rope elbow gets
two for Morrus but he’s a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping
and choking ensues as Goldberg’s leg is bleeding. Morrus slams
Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing
Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg’s first match, he kicks out at two
and hits the usual for the pin.

Rating:
C.
This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn’t all
that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least
they’re pointing at something instead of just having him beat up
random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed
to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny
name.

Goldberg
wants Sid.

An ambulance leaves the
arena, presumably with Hogan inside.

More Nitro Girls Search
stuff with good looking women who still aren’t Stacy Keibler.

Penzer
reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn’s
match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in Tony’s ear as he points out
that demanding something means Berlyn doesn’t get what he wants.
Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some
generic cruiserweight style offense.

The
evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down
even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have
Karagias in trouble but he’s still able to crotch Berlyn on the top.
Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing
on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing
his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.

Rating:
D.
Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it’s pretty clear that they’re
shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can’t say I
blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause
some damage. Other than that though, there isn’t much to get fired
up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the
ring.

Berlyn goes after Evan
again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get
beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he’s the clearest sign
possible that Berlyn is done.

Goldberg breaks into
Sid’s locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.

David Flair can’t find
Torrie.

The
Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony
continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport
athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay’s often repeated
line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a
feeling I’m the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks
Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It’s almost like
one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has
a famous brother.

Off
to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early
break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before
throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and
everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in
the knee with a title belt behind Booker’s back, giving T. the pin.

Rating:
D+.
These teams have fought so many times that there’s nothing left for
them to do. As I’ve said before, there are so many teams around WCW
but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of
pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which
we’re inching towards every single day. Whether that’s a good thing
or not is yet to be determined.

Goldberg calls a towing
company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.

This
was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be
afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to
the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in
and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback
for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch
slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more
than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he
can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.

Rating:
F.
So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title
but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy
getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash
that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this
guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and
more people change the channel?

Here’s
Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he’s
just a little banged up. He’s back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan
is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don’t really disagree with
the statement but it’s not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair,
who Bret immediately praises as well. That’s not quite as much of a
stretch but still doesn’t fit. Flair says they need to take care of
Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He’ll
ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can’t say I blame him after how
she looked earlier.

Heenan
talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if
Kidman is bald.

Torrie
is in the Filthy Animals’ locker room when David calls her. He
doesn’t like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her
for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it
wasn’t going to last forever.

Sid is told Goldberg
stole his car keys.

Konnan
hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A
superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That’s
some of the hardest work I’ve seen Konnan do in years. The rolling
clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it’s back to the armbar,
sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two
bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline
puts both guys down as we take a break.

We
come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right
back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan
grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the
corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor’s Edge,
setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors
and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.

Rating:
C+.
The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish
hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up
with someone like Saturn though? That’s quite the surprise and a
flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I’d
assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that
it’s WCW I doubt they’ve thought it that far through.

Sid goes to his car but
doesn’t find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck
arrives.

Post break, the tow
truck pulls the car away.

Here’s
Page for a chat. Page says he’s married to the most beautiful woman
in the world and that’s why the people hate him. He mentions Luger
being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him
Luger a few seconds later.

Various
celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.

Quick recap of
Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown
together by Chavo Guerrero.

Hair
vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner.
Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they’re quickly on the
floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where
Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside
for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That’s not
the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for
Kidman.

The
referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A
dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and
a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some
cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel
kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a
quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a
sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don’t have a bald
guy yet.

Kidman
comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to
have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with
a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an
even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can
powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the
luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow
the roof off the place. That’s kind of a surprising reaction.

Rating:
B+.
Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly
all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd.
This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main
event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show.
This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great
near falls.

Kidman
quickly rips the mask off and there’s a huge brawl.

Sting, Luger and Page
are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until
Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking.
Just……yeah.

Because
this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting
shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just
like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would
never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash
so it’s off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan
makes more jokes that don’t make sense.

Bret
starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before
it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing
a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo
to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It’s
a shame he doesn’t bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year
because that might make things more interesting.

Luger
chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart
to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down
and it’s a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to
Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and
Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for
the DQ.

Rating:
D.
Totally standard tag match which wasn’t even advertised because WCW
is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise.
Remember when that was Tony’s big talking point every week? Nothing
to see here as this was more running around in circles before the
“money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here
that didn’t advance anything.

David
Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see
an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are
destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains
running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it’s 1999 and Hogan is still
destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was
there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?

Sid
goes to his car…..and it’s been completely crushed. He shouts for
Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually
in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.

Overall
Rating: C.
There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag
it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this
show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud
people don’t really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match
making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without
ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big
matches being changed didn’t help either, which brings me back to
something I brought up at the beginning.

So
with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the
final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8.
Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas
night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn’t
on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest
margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the
entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was
built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught
WCW a thing and that’s a big reason why you don’t see Nitro every
Monday night.

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