WWF RAW: January 6, 1997
By Scott Keith on January 17, 2015
1996 was a lot of fun …
for the folks at Turner. WCW was the hottest show on the planet, delivering the
goods regularly. There were twists, good storyline progression, and a complete
overhaul of the roster. The WWF was suffering, however, with a depleted roster,
and near financial ruin. So how, from a quality standpoint, did the WWF turn
RAW into the tightest, highest rated program in wrestling history?
for the folks at Turner. WCW was the hottest show on the planet, delivering the
goods regularly. There were twists, good storyline progression, and a complete
overhaul of the roster. The WWF was suffering, however, with a depleted roster,
and near financial ruin. So how, from a quality standpoint, did the WWF turn
RAW into the tightest, highest rated program in wrestling history?
Seems impossible. But it
happened; and we’ll watch their progression as they combat the heat from WCW,
and the edge of ECW, all year. No matter how many shots of Shawn Michaels’ bare
ass we see along the way.
happened; and we’ll watch their progression as they combat the heat from WCW,
and the edge of ECW, all year. No matter how many shots of Shawn Michaels’ bare
ass we see along the way.
VADER
promises the end of Bret Hart. They’ll face off in our main event.
promises the end of Bret Hart. They’ll face off in our main event.
We are TAPED from Albany,
New York. A grunting VINCE MCMAHON
and a squealing JERRY LAWLER are
your hosts.
New York. A grunting VINCE MCMAHON
and a squealing JERRY LAWLER are
your hosts.
OWEN HART (with Clarence Mason and Slammy) vs.
MANKIND (with Paul Bearer and Urn)
MANKIND (with Paul Bearer and Urn)
Mankind is still in
full-fledged deranged freak mode here, dressed like a giant deuce, and rocking
violently in the corner. Owen tries to lock on the Sharpshooter immediately,
but Mankind dives into the ropes for safety. He hangs on, refusing to release
until Owen backs off. And as soon as he does, Mankind knocks him into the
corner and drives a knee into Owen’s face. All up in his grill, Mankind starts
clawing at his face and squealing like a pig. Owen tries to fight off the
Mandable Claw attempt by throwing elbows in Mankind’s face until he releases.
He stomps on Mick’s hand to take away his ability to use the finisher, but
Mankind fires back right away with a Cactus Clothesline. Mankind grabs a chair,
but Owen kicks him in the ribs and hotshots Foley across the guardrail. Yowch!
Back in, Owen works over Mankind’s midsection, before dropping him with a
spinning heel kick. Sharpshooter is threatened, but it’s actually a stomp to
the pooter. Owen applies an abdominal stretch; which seems counter-productive
since I’m fairly sure Foley doesn’t have any abs. Mick escapes, and eats an
enzuigiri of DEATH. Mankind hits the ground, and Owen’s all over him, but winds
up getting whipped into the guardrail. Mick finds … is that a kitty litter
box? What the hell? He smacks Owen upside the head, and we take a break.
full-fledged deranged freak mode here, dressed like a giant deuce, and rocking
violently in the corner. Owen tries to lock on the Sharpshooter immediately,
but Mankind dives into the ropes for safety. He hangs on, refusing to release
until Owen backs off. And as soon as he does, Mankind knocks him into the
corner and drives a knee into Owen’s face. All up in his grill, Mankind starts
clawing at his face and squealing like a pig. Owen tries to fight off the
Mandable Claw attempt by throwing elbows in Mankind’s face until he releases.
He stomps on Mick’s hand to take away his ability to use the finisher, but
Mankind fires back right away with a Cactus Clothesline. Mankind grabs a chair,
but Owen kicks him in the ribs and hotshots Foley across the guardrail. Yowch!
Back in, Owen works over Mankind’s midsection, before dropping him with a
spinning heel kick. Sharpshooter is threatened, but it’s actually a stomp to
the pooter. Owen applies an abdominal stretch; which seems counter-productive
since I’m fairly sure Foley doesn’t have any abs. Mick escapes, and eats an
enzuigiri of DEATH. Mankind hits the ground, and Owen’s all over him, but winds
up getting whipped into the guardrail. Mick finds … is that a kitty litter
box? What the hell? He smacks Owen upside the head, and we take a break.
Back from the time out,
and Mankind’s hitting a swinging neckbreaker. A second attempt is blocked with
a DDT, and Owen heads up – diving right into the Mandable Claw. Owen hits a
desperation enzuigiri, but can’t follow up, charging right into the ring post
shoulderfirst, and succumbing to a spike piledriver at 7:11. **1/2
and Mankind’s hitting a swinging neckbreaker. A second attempt is blocked with
a DDT, and Owen heads up – diving right into the Mandable Claw. Owen hits a
desperation enzuigiri, but can’t follow up, charging right into the ring post
shoulderfirst, and succumbing to a spike piledriver at 7:11. **1/2
Backstage, SHAWN MICHAELS and JOSE LOTHARIO are here. Lothario suffered an attack from Sid
Vicious a couple of weeks ago, positively heinous actions against a 70+ year
old man, that promptly made him the biggest babyface in the company. Lothario
promises he isn’t going anywhere, and has brought his son PETE LOTHARIO to watch his back. I was JUST thinking that there
weren’t enough Lothario’s in the company. The clear company direction has to
see Pete turn on his father and join Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 13, to defeat
Shawn Michaels for the strap. Do NOT bet against this.
Vicious a couple of weeks ago, positively heinous actions against a 70+ year
old man, that promptly made him the biggest babyface in the company. Lothario
promises he isn’t going anywhere, and has brought his son PETE LOTHARIO to watch his back. I was JUST thinking that there
weren’t enough Lothario’s in the company. The clear company direction has to
see Pete turn on his father and join Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 13, to defeat
Shawn Michaels for the strap. Do NOT bet against this.
NOT DIESEL and NOT RAZOR RAMON vs. DOUG FURNAS and
PHILLIP LAFON
PHILLIP LAFON
HONKY TONK MAN joins the commentary team, continuing his search for a guitar
playing, hip wiggling superstar he can mentor. Vince McMahon is the only one in
the world who has no problem with this Diesel/Razor nonsense, chuckling away as
“BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL” tosses Lafon around the ring. Razor hits a fallaway
slam, but Lafon comes back with a number of chops. Snap suplex brings in
Furnas, but Razor immediately works him over in the corner. “Bret the Hitman
Hart facing off with the Man They Call OOOOH WHATTASHOT!” Tony Schiavone is
forgiven for everything ever. Furnas throws Razor with an overhead belly to
belly, but Razor blocks a follow up German. Diesel gets in a cheap shot from
behind, and tags in. Furnas puts up a fight, but Not Kevin Nash is just far too
slow and methodical for him. Razor hits a swanky pumphandle suplex, and that
takes us to a commercial.
playing, hip wiggling superstar he can mentor. Vince McMahon is the only one in
the world who has no problem with this Diesel/Razor nonsense, chuckling away as
“BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL” tosses Lafon around the ring. Razor hits a fallaway
slam, but Lafon comes back with a number of chops. Snap suplex brings in
Furnas, but Razor immediately works him over in the corner. “Bret the Hitman
Hart facing off with the Man They Call OOOOH WHATTASHOT!” Tony Schiavone is
forgiven for everything ever. Furnas throws Razor with an overhead belly to
belly, but Razor blocks a follow up German. Diesel gets in a cheap shot from
behind, and tags in. Furnas puts up a fight, but Not Kevin Nash is just far too
slow and methodical for him. Razor hits a swanky pumphandle suplex, and that
takes us to a commercial.
Poor Doug Furnas is on
the receiving end of a sidewalk slam, and Diesel gets 2. McMahon is in awe of
Razor and Diesel’s effectiveness as a tag-team. The NotSiders double team
Furnas, and Diesel hits the leg straddle. A leg drop misses, and he’s in enough
pain that Furnas gets in a dropkick and makes the tag to Lafon. The fans start
booing the ever loving shit out of this. An enzuigiri takes down Diesel, and
the spinning heel kick gets a near 2. Lafon hits a sunset flip, and Furnas
pushes him over with the dropkick, but Diesel kicks out. Razor tags in to an
overhead hammerlock suplex, and Furnas tags in. Razor goes for Razor’s Edge,
but Lafon saves, and Furnas hits a Frankensteiner for 2. Diesel is dumped stop
his slow interference, and the Can-Am finishes with a Hart Attack into a
bridged pin for the win at 9:17. I
love me some Furnas and Lafon, but there ain’t no one carrying McMahon’s
brainfart to anything watchable. *
the receiving end of a sidewalk slam, and Diesel gets 2. McMahon is in awe of
Razor and Diesel’s effectiveness as a tag-team. The NotSiders double team
Furnas, and Diesel hits the leg straddle. A leg drop misses, and he’s in enough
pain that Furnas gets in a dropkick and makes the tag to Lafon. The fans start
booing the ever loving shit out of this. An enzuigiri takes down Diesel, and
the spinning heel kick gets a near 2. Lafon hits a sunset flip, and Furnas
pushes him over with the dropkick, but Diesel kicks out. Razor tags in to an
overhead hammerlock suplex, and Furnas tags in. Razor goes for Razor’s Edge,
but Lafon saves, and Furnas hits a Frankensteiner for 2. Diesel is dumped stop
his slow interference, and the Can-Am finishes with a Hart Attack into a
bridged pin for the win at 9:17. I
love me some Furnas and Lafon, but there ain’t no one carrying McMahon’s
brainfart to anything watchable. *
BRET HART
chats with McMahon, and brings up the fact Shawn Michaels is going to be
sitting ringside during his match. Vince says Shawn’s promised not to
interfere, which Hart blows off since Shawn has no integrity. Hart would
actually prefer he try and stick his nose in his match, so he can mop the floor
with the Boy Toy. He has more to say, but is cut off by Sid’s entrance music,
and storms off looking seriously pissed at the disrespect.
chats with McMahon, and brings up the fact Shawn Michaels is going to be
sitting ringside during his match. Vince says Shawn’s promised not to
interfere, which Hart blows off since Shawn has no integrity. Hart would
actually prefer he try and stick his nose in his match, so he can mop the floor
with the Boy Toy. He has more to say, but is cut off by Sid’s entrance music,
and storms off looking seriously pissed at the disrespect.
JIM ROSS
plans himself in the ring to chat with WWF Champion SYCHO SID. Sid’s walking into “hostile territory” in San Antonio
against Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble; but Sid isn’t intimidated by anyone
or anything. Not man, not wolf, not squeegee. He vows to walk into and out of
San Antonio The Man, due to his being the Master and Ruler of the World and
all.
plans himself in the ring to chat with WWF Champion SYCHO SID. Sid’s walking into “hostile territory” in San Antonio
against Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble; but Sid isn’t intimidated by anyone
or anything. Not man, not wolf, not squeegee. He vows to walk into and out of
San Antonio The Man, due to his being the Master and Ruler of the World and
all.
SHAWN MICHAELS and JOSE LOTHARIO skip down
to ringside, and Shawn does a striptease on McMahon’s announce table, getting
all sorts of unnatural noises emanating from Vince. Let us all be thankful he
didn’t decide to floss his ass with a studded vest. Sid apologizes to Shawn …
for what he’s going to do to him later. Shawn responds by removing his pants
and wiggling his hips. YOUR LEAD BABYFACE LADIES AND GERMS!
to ringside, and Shawn does a striptease on McMahon’s announce table, getting
all sorts of unnatural noises emanating from Vince. Let us all be thankful he
didn’t decide to floss his ass with a studded vest. Sid apologizes to Shawn …
for what he’s going to do to him later. Shawn responds by removing his pants
and wiggling his hips. YOUR LEAD BABYFACE LADIES AND GERMS!
BRET HART vs. VADER
Cornette is nowhere to be
seen, of course, having been stuffed into Undertaker’s body bag at the tail end
of Superstars yesterday. I don’t know if it’s just because we’ve seen so many
big fat guys since then, but Vader doesn’t seem as physically imposing today as
he did 18 years ago. Vader tosses Bret to the floor, where he … allows Bret
to whip him into the stairs. That’s followed by a whip to the ringpost, and a
whip to the guardrail. That didn’t exactly work out for Vader. Michaels
lambasts Bret for claiming to be a man of integrity, while he’d happily whack
you with a chair the second he was given an opportunity. Vince McMahon gives a
hearty guffaw and tells Shawn he’s the most straight up superstar in WWF
history. I’d suggest getting them a room, but it’s clear they’ve made this
platform exactly that. Vader turns things around with a hard body-block, and
start working over Bret with his giant hams in the corner. Vader comes off the
top with a clothesline, as we catch a glimpse of STEVE AUSTIN watching in the backstage area, taking us to
commercial.
seen, of course, having been stuffed into Undertaker’s body bag at the tail end
of Superstars yesterday. I don’t know if it’s just because we’ve seen so many
big fat guys since then, but Vader doesn’t seem as physically imposing today as
he did 18 years ago. Vader tosses Bret to the floor, where he … allows Bret
to whip him into the stairs. That’s followed by a whip to the ringpost, and a
whip to the guardrail. That didn’t exactly work out for Vader. Michaels
lambasts Bret for claiming to be a man of integrity, while he’d happily whack
you with a chair the second he was given an opportunity. Vince McMahon gives a
hearty guffaw and tells Shawn he’s the most straight up superstar in WWF
history. I’d suggest getting them a room, but it’s clear they’ve made this
platform exactly that. Vader turns things around with a hard body-block, and
start working over Bret with his giant hams in the corner. Vader comes off the
top with a clothesline, as we catch a glimpse of STEVE AUSTIN watching in the backstage area, taking us to
commercial.
Vader’s in full control
when we get back, headed up to the second rope and delivering a pretty nasty
looking splash – which Bret is lucky to kick out of at 2. Shawn continues to
slag Bret in a fairly unnatural way for baby on baby action… and I love it. The
complexity of their issues runs so deep that it trumps the way a babyface “should
act”, and as a result they come across a little more human. Assuming, of
course, regular humans gave lapdances to Vince McMahon while a middle aged fat
guy in a jockstrap mask tries to kill a middle aged regular sized guy about 8
feet away. The Vaderbomb is blocked with the knees, but Vader sells it poorly,
stopping the “bomb” about a foot from the connection point. Bret nails the
Russian legsweep, while Shawn starts pointing out that Bret’s doing the exact
same moveset he does every match. Axehandle sets up the backdrop suplex for a
2. A crossbody block takes both guys to the floor, and Bret throws a headbutt. SYCHO SID returns to ringside, and
steals the cameraman for some reason. Vader ties up the referee in a heated
discussion about high level chess, while STEVE
AUSTIN runs down to give Bret the Stunner in the aisle. Hart’s sent back
in, and this time the Vaderbomb hits for the win at 8:40. This was a disjointed mess, both guys are far better than
this. *1/2
when we get back, headed up to the second rope and delivering a pretty nasty
looking splash – which Bret is lucky to kick out of at 2. Shawn continues to
slag Bret in a fairly unnatural way for baby on baby action… and I love it. The
complexity of their issues runs so deep that it trumps the way a babyface “should
act”, and as a result they come across a little more human. Assuming, of
course, regular humans gave lapdances to Vince McMahon while a middle aged fat
guy in a jockstrap mask tries to kill a middle aged regular sized guy about 8
feet away. The Vaderbomb is blocked with the knees, but Vader sells it poorly,
stopping the “bomb” about a foot from the connection point. Bret nails the
Russian legsweep, while Shawn starts pointing out that Bret’s doing the exact
same moveset he does every match. Axehandle sets up the backdrop suplex for a
2. A crossbody block takes both guys to the floor, and Bret throws a headbutt. SYCHO SID returns to ringside, and
steals the cameraman for some reason. Vader ties up the referee in a heated
discussion about high level chess, while STEVE
AUSTIN runs down to give Bret the Stunner in the aisle. Hart’s sent back
in, and this time the Vaderbomb hits for the win at 8:40. This was a disjointed mess, both guys are far better than
this. *1/2
In the back, SYCHO SID has PETE LOTHARIO, and powerbombs him ON to a table in his locker room.
No, not through it, that sucker had no give! Shawn dashes to the locker room,
with Jose hobbling behind, but it’s too late. Michaels is an emotional disaster,
screaming uncontrollably, while McMahon wishes us a good night!
No, not through it, that sucker had no give! Shawn dashes to the locker room,
with Jose hobbling behind, but it’s too late. Michaels is an emotional disaster,
screaming uncontrollably, while McMahon wishes us a good night!
This … was probably not
the best RAW to start with. We have a long, long way to go.
the best RAW to start with. We have a long, long way to go.
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