Thunder – July 1, 1999

Date:
July 1, 1999

Location:
Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana

Commentators:
Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We’re
into the second half of the year now and hopefully things are going
to pick up. After Monday, we have Kevin Nash with Torrie and
Gorgeous George and having beaten up eight or so men at once to close
Nitro. However, Sting was seen behind the wheel of the Hummer to end
the show, but Sting is a weird dude so it could mean a lot of things.
Let’s get to it.

We
open with the ending of Nitro.

Megadeath
will be performing Crush Em live on Nitro.

Bret
Hart will be on Nitro for his first comments in months.

Saturn
jumps Kanyon on the floor before the bell as we hear about Savage and
Sid leaving with the belt itself to close Nitro. Page tries to jump
Saturn but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly. A Kanyon
distraction sends everyone out to the floor and Saturn keeps his
control. Back in and Saturn dropkicks knocks Kanyon off the apron,
only to get knocked off the apron from behind. Kanyon gets in some
cheap shots and things slow down again.

We
take a break (and see part of the Crush Em video) and come back with
absolutely nothing different. A powerslam plants Saturn but Page
takes his sweet time following up. It’s off to an abdominal stretch
with Kanyon helping in an old classic sequence. After a hiptoss
breaks the hold, Saturn ducks the discus lariat and superkicks Page
down for two.

Back
up and a Batista Bomb gets the same on Saturn but he breaks up the
Diamond Cutter, only to bump the referee at the same time. Kanyon
comes in and wraps a title belt around the turnbuckle. Saturn goes
after him but gets dropped onto the title, giving Page a very close
two count. Cue Benoit for a Swan Dive on Page but Kanyon pulls the
referee out at two for the DQ.

Rating:
C+. Gah
I was getting into that one before the ending. That’s pretty much
the only thing they could do though as you want to keep both teams
strong going into the title match at the PPV. It’s frustrating but
I’d rather have them do this than have a challenger lose his momentum
or a title made weak.

Benoit
takes out Kanyon with a suicide dive but Bigelow comes out to make it
3-2. Benoit and Saturn get
destroyed, which doesn’t bode well for their title match.

That
would be B.A. (Brad Armstrong) and Swoll (picture an
even bigger Ahmed Johnson
with even less talent) vs. Mean Mike
and Tough Tom. Swoll shoves
Mike down with ease to start and
we get some standard “I’m a big guy with huge muscles” offense
including move shoves and slams for both Conducts. Off
to Armstrong for a dropkick but Mike pokes him in the eye to take
over.

That’s
still not enough though as Armstrong dropkicks Tom and cranks on a
headlock, only to be whipped into a knee from Mike to really change
control. An ax handle to
the back and a jawbreaker have Brad reeling and a neckbreaker is good
for two. Disorderly Conduct
starts some fast tags before Mike goes up and misses a knee drop.
Swoll comes in off the hot tag and cleans more house as everything
breaks down. Armstrong is whipped into Tom in the corner, setting up
a palm strike to the chest to give Swoll the pin. Yeah the guy is
about 6’6 and 340lbs and his finishing move is a palm strike.

Rating:
D. Basic tag match here but I’m
not sure how to feel for Armstrong. He was a talented guy but the
only way he could get out there is to carry this guy due
to the powers of nepotism (Swoll was Master P.’s cousin). On the
other hand, it’s better than sitting at home and never getting on TV.

The
camera makes sure to get a shot of a guy in an LWO shirt. They’re
actually trying for some continuity on this story and I’m digging it
for a change. La Parka goes
after him in the corner to start but Eddie is too quick for him.
They send each other into the corner before Eddie tosses Parka out to
the floor, following him out with a big dive. The announcers finally
stop talking about Megadeath and Bret Hart for a second but the dive
only has so much power.

La
Parka is sent into various metal objects before going back inside.
Eddie misses the slingshot hilo but nails La Parka in the back of the
head before slingshotting onto him for two. We take a break and come
back with La Parka firing off some hard kicks to Eddie’s back. He
shouts into the camera that the LWO is dead, which I thought was a
foregone conclusion. A
chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie nails his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to
send La Parka rolling to the floor, where he picks up the chair.

Eddie
follows him out and takes a chair shot to the ribs, which the referee
doesn’t seem to mind. Back in and we hit a variety of chinlocks and
chokes, followed by a belly to belly to put Guerrero down. He’s not
down enough for La Parka’s corkscrew moonsault though and the crash
lets Eddie run to the top for the Frog Splash and the pin.

Rating:
C+. Eddie has been on a roll
since he got back and this was no exception. This is what was always
fun about the cruiserweight division: even the second and third
string guys were capable of having a good match when they were given
the chance. It’s a nice
little TV match and that’s more than you usually get out of this
show.

Savage
is freaking out when his phone rings. We cut to Kevin Nash on the
other end, getting a massage. Savage wants Gorgeous George back so
Nash tells him to go to 16th
and Norfield in 14 minutes and wait by the pay phones. The look on
Savage’s face is priceless as he’s just stunned that this is
happening.

This
Week In WCW Motorsports.

I
Hate Rap video.

Barry
quickly sends Silver King into the corner to start but misses a
charge and eats a missile dropkick followed by a superkick. The
Undoubtable El Dandy and Kendall come in with the less famous Windham
hammering away and getting two off a backslide. Villano
comes in with a clothesline to Kendall, sending him over to tag in
Bobby.

Duncum
takes a quick beating but it’s off to Damien vs. Hennig as the fast
tags continue. Curt chops
away in the corner and nails the knee lift. Damien tags Dandy back
in for a jam up right hand to Hennig to take over. The
luchadors start quadruple teaming Hennig until everything breaks down
and Kendall grabs a bulldog on Damien for a pin.

Rating:
C-. Not as bad as I was
expecting here as they kept this moving. I’m glad they went with
this formula too as there was no real need to have the Rednecks beat
up a luchador for awhile or waste a lot of time in trouble when the
ending is totally obvious. Nothing match but it could have been much
worse.

Savage
gets to the payphones and tries to figure out which one is ringing
until he realizes it’s his own cell phone. Nash
gives him a bunch of directions to tell Savage where to find him (two
blocks down from Quick Pick in whatever city this is taking place
in). Savage trying to remember all this is amusing.

It’s
a rare defense for Mysterio. We
get the usual catchphrases from the No Limit Soldiers, including
Armstrong in a bizarre moment. Feeling
out process to start until
Blitzkrieg runs into two boots in the corner and gets backdropped out
to the apron. He misses a
springboard spinwheel kick but catches Rey in a tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker for a near fall. A
headscissors puts Blitzkrieg on the floor for a baseball slide, only
to have him catch a diving Mysterio in a powerbomb on the floor.

We
head back inside for some moonsaults and chinlocks from the
challenger before Rey catches him in another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker
(far too popular a move in this company). Blitzkrieg
comes back with a clothesline but misses a springboard knee. Rey
hits a kind of Stinger Splash in the corner but runs into a second
clothesline. A dropkick
knocks Blitzkrieg out of the air and the top rope hurricanrana
retains the title.

Rating:
C. This
was back to the old “I do a spot then you do a spot then we both do
a spot” formula that dominated the division for so long. It also
furthers the idea that Blitzkrieg really wasn’t anything special in
the ring and was much more flash than substance. Mysterio needs to
drop the title already though as he’s completely outgrown the thing
and it could be used to elevate someone else.

Savage’s
Hummer pulls up on a street corner and Nash’s limo arrives a few
seconds later. Nash gets out and talks about how sweet George is.
Sid and Savage jump Nash until a clearly fake Sting breaks a ball bat
over Nash’s back. Sid takes the girl in the back seat (clearly
Torrie) and puts her in the Hummer as Nash is left laying.

We
get the usual catchphrases from both until Steiner nails him in the
back with a dog collar. They head outside with Rick piledriveing on
the concrete and hot shotting him onto the barricade. Back in and
Buff nails a dropkick and neckbreaker because being dropped head and
throat first onto concrete and steel don’t have any real effect on
him. Buff gets knocked to the floor as we take a break and get to
see the rest of the Crush Em video. Yeah remember that from an hour
and a half ago?

Back
with the champ choking with his chain and then putting on a chinlock.
Again, why do we even bother with referees in this company anymore?
Rick punches him in the neck a few times and we’re right back to the
chinlock. After a minute or so of that, we switch to a reverse
chinlock to keep things fresh. Buff fights up after two arm drops
but Rick stops the comeback after about eight seconds. He puts
Bagwell on top but gets kicked away as Buff loads up the Blockbuster.
Not that it matters though as David Flair comes out to tase Buff
(again, WCW referees are WORTHLESS), giving Rick an easy pin.

Rating:
D. Again, why in the world is
Rick Steiner getting this kind of a push? He doesn’t do anything
other than punches and hard rest holds but for some reason he’s spent
months as the TV Champion. Speaking of Steiners as champions, has
Scott been seen since he beat Buff at the PPV a few months back?
Also, this drops Buff to 1-3 since he pinned Flair in the eight man
tag, with the one win coming via DQ and being followed by a beatdown
from Sid and Savage.

Savage
opens the car door and finds Torrie because Nash is not only able to
beat up eight guys at once and leave with the girls, but he’s SMART
too!

Overall
Rating: C-. The wrestling, save
for the main event which was barely wrestling, was tolerable here and
it brings the show up a bit. The Nash and Savage stuff is straight
out of a low budget movie, which could be a good or bad thing based
on your taste. However, at the end of the day we’re looking at yet
another horrible main event match at Bash at the Beach because no one
EVER breaks into the main event around here. The
old vs. new story looks to be dead at this point with the new
generation shoved back down the card to where they have been forever
now. At least Piper and
Flair can draw though and that’s what matters.

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