Rock Star Gary reflects on…WrestleMania IX!

Live from Las Vegas, NV                                                                                                        

Attendance:  16,891

·        
Luna Vachon, making her WWF debut, seconded
Shawn Michaels to the ring. Sensational Sherri was in Tatanka’s corner just to
annoy Shawn.

·        
In order to earn his title shot Tatanka defeated
Shawn in both a non-title match as well as a six-man tag match.

·        
Tatanka turned an overhand wristlock into a nice
bridge.

·        
Shawn’s excellent selling led to a verbal
confrontation between Luna and Sherri on the floor.

·        
Botched sunset flip from the top rope by
Michaels could have been caused by Tatanka being out of position.

·        
Good psychology used by Tatanka to work on the
shoulder as Ross and Heenan described HBK’s prior injury.

·        
The move not yet named “Sweet Chin Music” hit
Tatanka as he came off the top rope.

·        
Again Sherri prevented any shenanigans by Luna
outside the ring.

·        
Excellent flying clothesline from the apron to
the floor by HBK.

·        
Swinging neckbreaker got a long 2 count.

·        
HBK blew a victory roll for another 2 count.

·        
He tried another victory roll, but Tatanka
countered with Splash Mountain.

·        
Three rope-assisted double-axehandles cued
Tatanka’s comeback.

·        
Chops o’plenty on HBK.

·        
High crossbody from the top rope should have
pinned HBK but only got 2.

·        
Catapult into the post got another close 2
count.

·        
Papoose To Go blocked by HBK into a rollup for
2.

·        
Tatanka reversed a high crossbody into a
powerslam for 2.

·        
Crowd chanted for Sherri.

·        
Dive from the apron to the floor by HBK missed.

·        
HBK pulls the referee out of the ring.

·       
Tatanka hit the Papoose To Go, but the referee
counted HBK out instead.

·        
It took merely a second or two after the opening
bell for Ross to call this match a “slobberknocker.”

·        
Heenan makes fun of Ross for the term “smash
mouth.”

·        
Fatu and Scott started the match for their
respective team.

·        
Steiner-line off the ropes by Scott gave him a
quick advantage.

·        
After both Steiners got tossed out of the ring
they mounted the top turnbuckle and nailed the Headshrinkers with
Steiner-lines.

·        
Afa rammed both Headshrinkers’ heads together to
wake them up.

·        
**THIS
JUST IN** Luna attacked Sensational Sherri at the first aid station.
Details to follow.

·        
Rick and Samu tagged in.

·        
After Rick rammed Samu’s head into the ringpost,
Scott tagged in.

·        
He delivered a butterfly suplex to Samu followed
by a dropkick to Fatu.

·        
A botched stungun sends Scott completely out of
the ring. That looked sick!

·        
Behind referee Bill Alfonso’s back Afa whacked
Scott in the back.

·        
Fatu split Scott in two with a backbreaker then
gave him a headbutt from the second rope.

·        
Spinning kick from Samu put Scott down on the
mat.

·        
While Rick and Fatu distract Alfonso Samu rammed
Scott’s head into the ringpost.

·        
Scott caught Fatu ducking early and sent him
face-first to the mat only to receive a crescent kick to the face for his
troubles.

·        
Excellent standing dropkick by Samu.

·        
Headshrinkers gave Scott Demolition
Decapitation.

·        
Double clothesline spot knocked both Fatu and
Scott down.

·        
Samu missed a diving headbutt from the top rope.

·        
Hot tag and Rick cleaned house with Steiner-lines.

·        
Rick shows off his intellect by trying the double
noggin-knocker spot on the Samoan duo, but it fails miserably. Both Headshrinkers
give him a headbutt in exchange.

·        
Double Stroke (face-first Russian legsweep) put
Rick down.

·        
Oh my God! What appeared to be a Doomsday Device
by the Headshrinkers turned into a powerslam by Rick! Incredible!

·        
Heenan’s jabs at Ross with the Oklahoma jokes
are hysterical (e.g. indoor plumbing).

·        
Scott tagged in and gave Fatu an overhead
belly-to-belly suplex only to get nailed by a kick from Samu.

·        
Upon a reversal of an Irish whip Scott delivered
the Frankensteiner to Samu for the pin! However, It didn’t look as crisp as it
should have.

·        
Savage’s commentary is firmly behind Crush. He
must owe him money.

·        
Crush chased Doink around the ring and slammed
him on the outside.  In fact the majority
of the beginning of the match was spent outside the ring.

·        
Crush dominated with a hangman’s neckbreaker.

·        
Neck snap via the top rope by Crush.

·        
Vicious backbreaker by Crush.

·        
Doink turned the tables by snapping Crush’s neck
on the top rope then nailing him with a sledge from the top rope.

·        
Doink went to the top rope twice and delivered a
couple of fists.

·        
Piledriver by Doink.

·        
A Doink slam led to a foot to the face by Crush
as Doink jumped from the top rope.

·        
An attempted crossbody block by Doink was
countered into a Crush powerslam.

·        
Crush then clotheslined Doink over the top rope.

·        
Doink tried to escape under the ring to no
avail.

·        
Back in the ring Crush gave Doink a military
press and signaled for the Kona Clutch.

·        
He applied it, but Doink got to the ropes. Referee
Joey Marella was knocked down in the process.

·        
Again Doink tried to escape under the ring only
to be caught by Crush.

·        
Wow! Back in the ring Crush gave Doink a Savate
kick!

·        
Crush applied the Kona Clutch again, but Marella
was still down.

·        
A second Doink appeared behind Crush and waffled
him with a prosthetic arm.

·        
The two Doinks double-teamed Crush with the
prosthetic arm.

·        
Next they performed the mirror illusion trick.
Amazing!

·        
While the second Doink hid under the ring the
original Doink covered Crush for the pin.

·        
Referee Bill Alfonso ran to the ring and
notified Marella of the Doink shenanigans, but the second Doink could not be
located. Brilliant!

·        
**THIS
JUST IN** According to Ross Sherri is pretty shaken up, but order has been
restored within the first aid area.

·        
Backlund’s offer of a hand shake received a
toothpick to the face in return.

·        
Despite Ramon being a heel the crowd chanted
“Razor!”

·        
Using his quickness Backlund tripped Razor
twice.

·        
Heenan noted Backlund’s long hiatus. Savage
stated he was training during that time. Heenan refuted by saying he was the “paper
boy in Mayberry.” HA!

·        
Savage reported that Bret “Hitman” Hart was
knocked unconscious by “The Narcissist” Lex Luger at the WrestleMania brunch.

·        
Razor dominated Backlund with punches and kicks
until Backlund reversed a cross-corner whip and gave Razor a pair of hip
tosses.

·        
Sadly he missed a dropkick, but a running
forearm put Razor down on the mat.

·        
Butterfly suplex by Backlund

·        
LONG atomic drop by Backlund, but Razor escapes
to the apron.

·        
Razor came in the hard way.

·        
Out of nowhere Razor applies an inside cradle
and got the pin!

·        
To show that money was no object to the Million
Dollar Man, IRS’ Halliburton briefcase is golden rather than silver.

·        
Holy crap! I had totally forgotten about Hogan’s
black eye! Fact or fiction? You make the call!

·        
DiBiase and IRS attack immediately.

·        
Our heroes (cough, cough) tossed each man over
the top rope shortly thereafter.

·        
The T-shirt got ripped! The ear got cupped! The
people stood and cheered! I grabbed the Pepto.

·        
After a lengthy regroup session we start proper
with Beefcake and IRS.

·        
IRS put Beefcake on the defensive then tagged
out to DiBiase.

·        
Money, Inc. tried to double-team Beefcake, but
DiBiase’s double-sledge to the mask backfired!

·        
Noggins get knocked, and Beefcake tried to
hammer DiBiase’s head into the top turnbuckle.

·        
It’s blocked, and DiBiase tried to ram Beefcake’s
face without any luck due to the mask.

·        
A ram of DiBiase’s head to Hulk’s boot preceded
a tag to the Hulkster.

·        
After Hulk rapped DiBiase’s head about 18 times
he hit a running clothesline.

·        
Beefcake tagged in, and the MegaManiacs gave
DiBiase the double boot to the face.

·        
After an atomic stomp and slam Beefcake tagged
Hulk back in. Hulk came off the second rope with a double sledge.

·        
Upon bouncing like a pinball between Hogan and
Beefcake DiBiase got clotheslined over the top rope.

·        
IRS came in, got pinballed, poked in the eye,
and thrown over the top rope.

·        
Hogan mugged to the crowd again, and they praised
his efforts.

·        
Money, Inc. took a walk expecting the countout
and to keep the belts.

·        
Referee Earl Hebner informed Finkel that if the
champs didn’t return to the ring by the count of ten they not only lose the
match but the titles too! Money, Inc. became irate!

·        
Expectedly they hurried back to the ring.

·        
DiBiase and Hogan start proper again. DiBiase got
the advantage, and IRS choked Hogan with the tag rope behind Hebner’s back.

·        
Heel chicanery kept Hogan subdued.

·        
As DiBiase hooked the Million Dollar Dream the
fans chanted “Hogan” to ensure he didn’t go to sleep. Good luck! Hogan’s
painkillers might just have done that!

·        
By committing an embarrassing gaffe “Macho Man”
mistook rafters for columns then corrected himself during Hogan’s comeback.

·        
Behind Hebner’s back Beefcake slapped DiBiase in
the sleeper.

·        
Order was restored and both DiBiase and Hogan
were down.

·        
Hogan sat up at nine and made the tag to
Beefcake.

·        
High knee from Beefcake to IRS.  Atomic drop sent DiBiase over the top rope.

·        
DiBiase nailed Beefcake coming off the ropes
with the briefcase.

·        
Next he tried to do away with Beefcake’s mask
causing Heenan to make a hockey joke.

·        
The mask was removed and placed atop the briefcase.
Sympathetically Ross got seriously worried for Beefcake’s well-being.

·        
The champs tried to double-team Beefcake, but he
ducked then delivered a double clothesline off the ropes instead.

·        
Beefcake locked the sleeper on IRS.

·        
Hogan came in and distracted Hebner. In the
meantime DiBiase blasted Beefcake in the back knocking him, IRS, and Hebner to
the mat.

·        
Tags were made on both sides despite the referee
being down.

·        
Hogan gave the big boot to DiBiase.

·        
IRS tried to nail Hogan with Beefcake’s mask but
received a low blow.

·        
Hogan hit both members of Money Inc. with the
mask.

·        
Both men covered for the pin. Jimmy Hart crawled
into the ring to wake up Hebner.

·        
In a cute bit Hart reversed his jacket to reveal
referee stripes and counted the double pin.

·        
Belts were grabbed and held overhead. Do we have
new champions?

·        
Referee Danny Davis sprinted to ringside,
checked on Hebner, and raised the arms of Money, Inc.

·        
The champs won by disqualification.

·        
The MegaManiacs intimidated Davis until Money
Inc. nailed them with the belts.

·        
However, the belt shots got no-sold, and the
champs high-tailed it out of the ring.

·        
Hart talked the MegaManiacs out of rearranging
Davis’ facial features.

·        
Alternatively Hart tossed Davis over the top
rope himself!

·        
Wait, Hogan didn’t win the tag belts here?
Something smells fishy.

·        
Luger came to the ring with not one, not two,
not three, but FOUR lovely ladies in scantily clad golden bikinis. <cat whistle>

·        
I guess you can’t say Luger didn’t win ANY gold
in the WWF.

·        
Luger posed as the mirrors shot off pyro.

·        
Perfect whipped Luger off the ropes and hit him
in the gut.

·        
He quickly followed with a kneelift.

·        
Rope sequence culminated with a Perfect running
dropkick.

·        
After another rope sequence Perfect grabbed
Luger’s foot. He proceeded to damage Luger’s left knee.

·        
While working on the knee he applied a spinning
toe hold.

·        
A chop by Perfect to Luger’s chest echoed
throughout the outdoor arena.

·        
A cross-corner whip was reversed by Luger, and
Perfect hit his back HARD.

·        
Another cross-corner whip by Luger caused more
damage.

·        
Backbreaker.

·        
A brief Perfect comeback was halted when Luger
raised his knees on a blind charge.

·        
Having studied how he lost to Flair at Starrcade
’88, Luger grabbed Perfect’s legs and put his feet on the ropes. Unlike that
match, referee Joey Marella caught him before counting the pin.

·        
Wasting no time Luger whipped him off the ropes
and gave him a powerslam.

·        
Another whip off the ropes led to a Perfect sunset
flip for 2.

·        
Perfect locked on the sleeper, but Luger broke
the hold by backing into the corner further aggravating Perfect’s injured back.

·        
Yet another Irish whip from Luger segued into an
inside cradle by Perfect for 2.

·        
Luger took a chest-first bump off a cross-corner
whip then received a catapult to the turnbuckle.

·        
Perfect nailed Luger with the Axe then whipped
him off the ropes to give him another for 2.

·        
He mounted the turnbuckle to hit Luger in the
head; however, Luger picked him up for a running inverted atomic drop.

·        
He missed, and Perfect delivered a clothesline.

·        
A third Axe hit the mark for another 2 count.

·        
Missile dropkick from Perfect got another 2
count due to Luger’s foot on the bottom rope.

·        
They fight for a backslide, and Luger pinned him
despite Perfect’s legs being in the ropes. Perfect was robbed!

·        
At 7’6” Giant Gonzalez remains the tallest
professional wrestler to date. Unfortunately muscle tone did not correlate with
his height; hence, he wore a ludicrous body suit to the ring.

·        
At this point the Undertaker (UT) was only 2-0
at WrestleMania.

·        
The Undertaker rode a chariot with a vulture
atop a perch to the ring.

·        
Gonzalez towered over the 6’10” Undertaker.

·        
He hammered UT with forearms, but they were
no-sold.

·        
A brief flurry by UT led to a choke by Gonzalez.

·        
While being choked UT mounted the second
turnbuckle and applied a choke of his own.

·        
Gonzalez broke with a low blow.

·        
A standing wristlock by UT segued into a
ropewalk.

·        
After UT intimidated referee Bill Alfonso he
walked into a boot.

·        
Gonzalez then clotheslined UT and tossed UT
across the ring like a rag doll.

·        
LONG headlock by Gonzalez.

·        
Bearer tried to raise UT by invoking the power
of the urn.

·        
UT elbowed out but was sent outside the ring.

·        
Gonzalez rammed UT’s head into the ring steps
then whipped him into them.

·        
The power of the urn encouraged UT to his feet
and back into the ring.

·        
UT received a headbutt but sat up.

·        
A second headbutt put UT down, but he sat back
up again.

·        
UT came back with punches and kicks to the ribs.

·        
Gonzalez’ “selling” took him to one knee.

·        
Wippleman got on the apron.

·        
As UT grabbed him Wippleman tossed a rag to
Gonzalez.

·        
Bearer got on the apron and ate a headbutt from
Gonzalez.

·        
Gonzalez then smothered UT with the rag.

·        
The announcers claimed the rag was soaked with
chloroform.

·        
Alfonso called for the bell disqualifying
Gonzalez.

·        
In a bit of foreshadowing Heenan ominously stated
that the minute Yokozuna walked through the curtain the clouds began to cast
over the skies of Caesar’s Palace.

·        
Bret got off to a good start with a running
dropkick.

·        
Next he tried a go-behind but couldn’t wrap his
arms around Yoko’s girth.

·        
Yokozuna shoulderblock knocks Hart out of the
ring.

·        
Yoko tried to keep Bret outside the ring by
kicking him; however, Bret grabbed the foot and tripped the big man.

·        
Springboard splash by Bret.

·        
While Yoko’s leg was tied in the ropes Bret
delivered a second rope elbow smash.

·        
Referee Earl Hebner untied Yoko.

·        
Bret tried to clothesline him twice but couldn’t
knock him down.

·        
A third try was countered by a Yoko clothesline.

·        
Slam and legdrop by Yoko.

·        
Nerve hold by Yoko.

·        
Cross-corner whip by Yoko, but blind charge hits
knees.

·        
Botched bulldog by Bret got a 2 count.

·        
Crescent kick by Yoko.

·        
Snapmare led to another nerve hold by Yoko.

·        
Another cross-corner whip by Yoko, but the
avalanche missed.

·        
Second rope bulldog by Bret. Much crisper this
time. Got a 2 count, but Yoko kicked out with authority!

·        
Second rope elbow smash by Bret. Another 2
count.

·        
Second rope clothesline by Bret. Yoko staggered.

·        
Running clothesline knocked the big man down.

·        
Bret mounted the turnbuckle and nailed Yoko five
times before Yoko grabbed his legs.

·        
Yoko couldn’t drop him because Bret had a firm
grip on the top turnbuckle cover. He ripped it off!

·        
Yoko tried to ram Bret’s head into the exposed
turnbuckle, but Yoko hit it instead.

·        
Bret locked on the Sharpshooter.

·        
As Hebner checked for the submission Fuji threw
salt into Bret’s eyes blinding him.

·        
Yoko immediately made the cover and won the
title!