Matt's Main Event Recap – 4/22/2014

Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips are your guys in the booth.

And, right away, the action starts…

MATCH #1: WWE Intercontinental Champion Big E vs. Alberto Del Rio (Non-Title)
A championship preview for the “prestigious title” once held “by the likes of the Ultimate Warrior and Pat Patterson”? Too much!Crowd
is firmly behind Big E as Del Rio gets some early offense. Big E
counters with a shoulderblock and then clotheslines Del Rio out of the
ring. Del Rio responds by dropping E’s neck on the ropes and then hits a
beautiful Tornado DDT back in the ring off the ropes. Del Rio slaps on a
headlock but E breaks out and starts hitting clotheslines. He tries the
Belly to Belly Suplex but Del Rio counters with a Falling Arm Breaker
and the Superkick If Your Opponent Was Hornswaggle. He gets two and
tries a Cross Body but E catches him, hits a backbreaker and then a
Warrior Splash. He goes for the Big Ending but Del Rio counters with an
Enzuguri and gets a near fall. Big E takes forever to get to his feet
and Del Rio just stands there, pumping his fist up in the air, and then
calls for the Cross Arm Breaker, waiting. E, however, backs Del Rio into
the corner. Del Rio climbs the ropes for another Tornado DDT but E
counters and hits The Big Ending for the win at around 4:19.
WINNER: Big E via Big Ending
GRADE: C-. This was a borderline squash.

Post-match,
Bad News Barrett is on his podium and says E has been a truly horrible
champion. Then he insults the crowd and says E is just like them. They
have crappy lives, he says. Most have no lives whatsoever…so…we just
told the audience who E is facing, did we?

TONIGHT: Jimmy Uso will face Ryback.

We
have a promo for Legends House. This week: the old guys are stunned
into silence when some guy, some place asks if they want to play Polo.
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MATCH #2: El Torito (w/ Los
Matadores – Fernando & Diego) vs. Hornswaggle (w/ 3MB – Heath
Slater, Drew McIntyre, & Jinder Mahal)
GIRLFRIEND:
“WHERE’S YOUR WRESTLING GOD NOW???” And this “feud” actually gets an
accompanying video package? Torito charges and misses. Hornswaggle
splashes and misses. Torito hits a nice roll-up and gets two, then a
wrist lock. Swaggle reverses, I guess and Torito and Swaggle exchange
Sunset Flips. Torito hits a Sharpshooter and a Facelock and then it just
devolves into a bunch of running around until Torito hits a Cross Body,
knocking Torito down. Swaggle comes back, dropping Torito’s body to the
ground which can’t be very painful seeing as how they’re like 2.5 feet
tall. Swaggle kicks Torito in the head and hits a huge clothesline and
gets two. Swaggle tosses Torito in the corner but Torito elbows him and
hits a Cross Body and a series of dropkicks. Torito hits a Bull Buster
in the corner and goes for the Bull-sault but Heath Slater distracts
Torito. The Matadores pull Slater off the mat. Torito misses the
Bull-sault and Swaggle gets a Frog Splash off the ropes for the win at
4:49. THIS MATCH WAS LONGER THAN THE LAST ONE.
WINNER: Hornswaggle via Splash
GRADE:
D-. And the sad thing is that the McMahons will continue to go to
Stupidity Well even when they’re bringing up nothing but mud.

We get clips from the Evolution/Shield face-off from RAW. They will, of course, be facing each other at Extreme Rules.

NEXT: Sheamus is in action.

Another
Adam promo where somebody in the bus is playing Hungry Hungry Hippos
with the Giant Bunny Furry thing. The Bunny loses. Adam cheers him up
and the party keeps going. I couldn’t make that up if I were tripping.

The Best of the WWE Hall of Fame speeches are all this week on The WWE Network.

MATCH #3: Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil
The
two lock up and the two exchange punches until Sheamus ends up outside.
Sheamus gets back in and O’Neil hits some mean uppercuts. Sheamus
fights back and ends up hitting a standing powerslam. Sheamus tossed
into the ropes, ends up knee-lifting O’Neil. Sheamus tries to
clothesline him out of the ring but O’Neil tosses him up and out of the
ring, over the ropes. Sheamus catches himself and lands on the mat, on
his feet. O’Neil turns Sheamus around and goes for the Ten Beats. Ha.
Sheamus counters by elbowing out of it and then tries a Battering Ram
but O’Neil hits a forearm to Sheamus’s face, knocking him out of the
ring. O’Neil beats on him outside and then rolls him back into the ring
for a one-count. Side headlock is countered by Sheamus but he ends up
back in O’Neil’s arms with a Fallaway Slam. Sheamus, again, lands on his
feet and starts hitting forearms and a knee lift. He hits a knee in the
corner and then hits the Ten Beats from outside. Sheamus goes to the
top rope and tries a Cross Body but O’Neil catches him and hits a
Fallaway Slam for two! O’Neil and Sheamus exchange punches and O’Neil
charges in the corner but misses. SHeamus charges and runs into O’Neil’s
boot. O’Neil hits a nice Shoulderbreaker and covers for two. O’Neil
picks Sheamus up by his chin and taunts him but Sheamus punches him and
hits the Brogue Kick for the win at 6:04.
WINNER: Sheamus via Brogue Kick
GRADE: B-. Not a bad match, really. Sheamus plays well with the big, tough guys. O’Neil could have used the win, though.

Post-match, Sheamus celebrates with some Irish fans who are holding his home country’s flag.

NEXT: We get to see Kane beat the crap out of Daniel Bryan as Steph tells Kane to “stop it”.

A promo for Total Divas on E!. The exclamation is not because I’m excited, as you may have guessed.

BOLIEVE promo. If I BOLIEVE, does that mean we won’t have to sit through any more Midget bullshit?

Clips from the Kane-on-Daniel-Bryan beatdown from RAW.

Daniel Bryan has a “contusion of the Spinal Cord”. But he’ll be on RAW. Cena has quadruple the screen time since Wrestlemania.

Uso’s are out for the Main Event as we go to break.

Speaking of Cena, we get a Cena/Bray promo for Extreme Rules.

MATCH #4: Jimmy Uso (w/ Jey Uso) vs. Ryback (w/ Curtis Axel)
We
see the build-up for this match as Jimmy and Ryback face off. The two
lock up as Ryback tries to use his strength to push Jimmy around. Jimmy
slaps and punches to keep him away, then dumps him outside and hits a
Flying Uso. He rolls Ryback inside and kicks away but Ryback comes back
with some chops, knocking him to the mat. There’s a headlock by Ryback
and some hecklers don’t like that, so Ryback tells them to shut up.
Jimmy gets out and slings him into the ropes and goes for a Superkick
but misses and Ryback rolls outside to recover. Once back in, he pounds
on Jimmy until Jimmy fights back and Ryback ends up outside. Jimmy tries
a Cross Body but Ryback catches him and goes for a Powerslam. As he
runs, Jimmy slips off his shoulder and shoves Ryback into the ring
post.

Promo for a kick-ass-looking DVD called “RAW
After-Show” which is, apparently, everything that happens when RAW’s
cameras go off. I’m into this.

Promo for Oculus which, I have to say, was a critical and financial success. Kudos.

After
the break, Jimmy’s rolling around outside and Ryback goes out to beat
on him. There’s a dude out there who’s REALLY loud and he’s not letting
up on Ryback. Ryback rolls Jimmy into the ring and puts on a side
headlock and then a suplex. Ryback hits a Delayed Suplex right after
that and gets two. More Ryback Headlock goodness. Jimmy breaks out but
Ryback hits a Spinebuster and then pounds his chest for the eventual
future show intro reel. He hits a Clothesline from Hell and NEARLY gets a
three-count. Ryback goes to the second rope and falls but Jimmy catches
him with a foot to the face. Jimmy gets tossed to the corner but he
chops at a charging Ryback. More chops and Ryback grabs him for another
Powerslam but Jimmy slips off the shoulder and Ryback goes flying into
the ring post. Jimmy charges but Ryback boots him in the face. Ryback
ends up getting dropped to the mat and Jimmy hits a Samoan Drop after
some kicks. He goes to the top rope and hits a nice Cross Body for two.
Ryback is up and Jimmy hits the Superkick. Ryback ends up in the corner
and Jimmy hits the Rikishi Splash. Another two count. He goes up top
again as Ryback gets to his feet and knocks Uso down, trying to set up a
Superplex. Jimmy counters with punches and goes for the Superfly Splash
but Axel hits the mat and Jimmy jumps down to confront him. Jey comes
up behind Axel and hits him with a Superkick as Jimmy gets blindsided by
Ryback. Jimmy flies into both Axel and Jey. Ryback rolls Jimmy back
into the ring, hits the Shell Shock and we’re done at 13:10.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
GRADE:
B-. Ryback is slow and clunky and not exactly one to carry a Main
Event…but, for this show, it worked. The pace was decent and there was
some good back-and-forth. Not bad.

Post-match, the heels celebrate as Main Event goes off the air.  

OVERALL: The Sheamus match and the Uso/Ryback match saved this. I’d say B-.

That’s it.