When Cena returns….

Jesse's obsession with me waxes and wanes. I'll get a bunch of e-mails from him sometimes then he'll go months without contacting me again. He's a tough one to figure.

As for Cena, yes, I think they're going to panic over the freefalling ratings and dropping buyrates and plug him in as the savior. And here's the irony of the whole situation: This Bryan storyline was built on HHH and Stephanie demeaning him for being a "B+" guy who can't draw money on top and is too small to be champion, and that's exactly what we're seeing in real life. There's a weird faith in Wrestlemania being the ultimate payoff for stuff, when that hasn't been the case at all for anything outside of Rock-Cena in years. The show this year is clearly gearing up for Cena-Undertaker and Rock-Brock in some combination (assuming Rock can/will work the show) and you think HHH is going to get his comeuppance six spots down on the card? I think not. Plus really, the Corporation storyline doesn't have legs for much longer without adding some new top guys to the mix. The announcers are all "OMG, Daniel Bryan is the new locker room leader!" but who really joins him in standing up? Everyone else just kind of passively does what HHH & Steph demand of them and takes the matches assigned at their assigned times, and hell even Bryan does it too. And now we're getting Boobless Bella added into things in the most misguided audience reading in a good long while. Note to WWE: Total Divas is a hit with teenage girls and housewives and John Orquiola, not anyone actually watching the product that people pay money for.

Others have said it before, but I'll say it again: I do not watch wrestling to see real life job frustrations portrayed by people making millions of dollars a year. Being forced to work for the owner's idiot daughter and doofus asskissing son-in-law and never being able to get any revenge is hitting way too close to home for people. Austin v. McMahon worked because was two people playing cartoon exaggerations of archetypes (the rogueish Everyman and the Evil Boss), and the audience could project themselves through Austin's revenge on Vince because the morality play was SO broad. This storyline is frighteningly specific, with the babyface side cow-towed because they're afraid to speak up for fear of losing their tenuous employment while working for a monopoly in a bad economy (ala Big Show) and being having to answer to the guy who never wants to look bad and his wife who can't ever look bad because she's the owner's daughter and everyone knows it. The only guy who's ever been portrayed as having the balls to say anything is off in some bizarre parallel universe of walruses marrying silverbacks that never intersects with the main storyline for some reason. I mean, really, no one ever stops to ask Punk "Hey, isn't HHH a dick?" and let him talk for 15 minutes about it? It's like, the storyline is Bryan being backed up by a group of misfits and losers, who are then portrayed in storyline as a bunch of misfits and losers, so why do I care about any of this? Dolph Ziggler stood up for himself, got beat down repeatedly by the Shield and now he's headlining the pre-game show against Damien Sandow and MIGHT ACTUALLY LOSE THAT MATCH TOO. Why do I want to invest anything in these characters?

So yeah, Cena's coming back and probably wrestling Orton again.