Tryout #3: Mike Mears

(A quick note before we start: This is is a Raw review that will assume you’ve watched the show. It will not be a straightforward, sequential segment-by-segment, match-by-match review, but it’s not exactly what I thought it would be, either. But walking you through a play-by-play is something I have no interest in doing, and since I’m assuming you watched the show, I’m also going to assume you also have your own opinion on the show as a whole. And I’m open to suggestions for a name if I do this regularly. I thought “Rawtopsy” sounded cute, but it looks dumb when written.) By Mike Mears Behind This Very Curtain….     In many ways, the WWE pulled the curtain back- or broke down the fourth wall, if that’s the metaphor you prefer- decades ago. Some would argue it never truly existed, but that’s neither here nor there.  Starting with the CM Punk “pipe bomb” of June 2011, we entered an era in which backstage machinations- or, perhaps more importantly, our perception of what those machinations are- played a more active, central part in main event storylines than ever before.     Daniel Bryan’s rise to superstardom, exponentially sped up over the last three months, has seen this trend hit critical mass. We have the actual powers-that-be playing semi-fictionalized versions of themselves more meta than the brilliant Mr. McMahon caricature of yesteryear ever could have dreamed to be. (More importantly, than he would have wanted to be.) Oh, sure we know they actually love Daniel Bryan. But it works on multiple levels. To the kids who weren’t alive yet when Stone Cold was raging against the machine, they don’t know this, plus this is all new. To the rest of us, it plays off of our own insecurities as “smart” fans. We know it, mostly, but even when they’re serving us Daniel Bryan on a silver platter, they’ve created just enough doubt. Was I bothered by him looking like an idiot, walking right into the RKO? Sure. But every babyface pretty much ever has brazenly walked into the heel’s trap like an idiot, with more guts than brains.     Even if whatever subtlety in this storyline has long since gone by the wayside, they’re still able to play with the sensibilities of the smart fan to create that doubt. That little bit of creeping doubt, that maybe every think they don’t really believe but what we’ve been lead to think they believe- that Bryan doesn’t fit what they want their superstars to be- is all there needs to be.     Unlike with the Summer of Punk, the worry here isn’t that Triple H is going to steal heat for himself, or cut the legs out from underneath the one-time indy darling turned hottest thing in wrestling. It’s that they might go too far in making themselves out to be supervillians standing in the way of the everyman. It’s a great story, which is why it’s been reimagined countless times in every form of storytelling that exists. But there’s a point of diminishing returns even for someone as absurdly over, and absurdly talented, as Daniel Bryan. I have no concerns about them letting Bryan get his heat back, or even eventually win the title back. Those things will happen. My concern is if they know how to get there. They collected the underpants in step one, and they know step three is profit (in this case, meaning they obviously see money in Bryan). Do they know step two?     With Cena on the shelf for perhaps the rest of the year and Punk existing in his own bubble outside the rest of the WWE sphere in his feud with Heyman- not to mention others often considered for-better-or-worse Cena alternatives like Orton (turned heel) and Sheamus (himself injured) not available for that role- they’d damn well better. “It seems like the people here disagree with you on what’s best for business,” Bryan told Stephanie McMahon in the opening promo, shortly before slapping the mic out of her hand in a bit that was just unspeakably awesome. Once again, they’ve successfully involved the fans, empowering them and making it look like they’re taking an active role in the direction of the company. We chose CM Punk, and now we chose Daniel Bryan. Co-opt “reality” all you want, but make sure you have an endgame. Meanwhile, in an alternate universe….     As I alluded to, our other hero is kind of existing in his own separate sphere right now. (Ironically, this is the way Cena should have been used starting at least two years ago, as a full-time special attraction of sorts: not necessarily above everyone else, but…separate.) Yes, CM Punk has been back full-time for about two months now, been in featured matches on three PPVs since his three-month break after Wrestlemania. But his feud with Paul Heyman hasn’t really intersected with anything else going on.     And that’s just fine, because the leader of what Grantland’s brilliant David Shoemaker  dubbed “The Reality Era” in 2011 has stepped aside from the counterculture, revolutionary role for the time being. No, what CM Punk is embroiled in is good, old-fashioned, old-school wrestling hatred. He was involved in one of the greatest Summerslam matches of all-time last night (upon a second viewing, I may be convinced to remove the “Summerslam” qualifier), with a major mainstream star in Brock Lesnar, and somehow the brutality Lesnar brought at him was secondary to his seething hatred of Paul Heyman.     Punk fought the machine for nearly two years. Now he just wants to rip apart his former best friend. Much like with Bryan, we kind of already know the ending. It’s how we get there that matters. In this case, it’s a wrestler against a fat, slovenly manager who isn’t even a former wrestler. Yeah, we want to see Punk get his hands on Heyman and rip him apart. And we’re fairly sure we will. The brawl with Curtis Axel was as logical a starting point as any- if only anyone cared about Axel, or his title- but assuming we’re headed for a Wrestlemania rematch with Lesnar (which would make sense, because unlike with HHH that’s a rematch and a conqueror of Lesnar we actually want to see) that’s a lot of time in-between for Punk to have to fill. Some sort of prolonged absence would make a lot of sense for him here, except there’s an enormous top babyface void right now and Punk already had one long absence this year. The more logical next step seems to be that Punk destroys Axel and gets to Heyman, leading to a prolonged absence for Heyman, before he brings back Brock for retribution.     On another note, find me another wrestler alive who can cut a scathing promo on a fan as a babyface, AND BE A BIGGER BABYFACE AS A RESULT. If anyone was in attendance, was this some dude who was just being an unbearably obnoxious asshole? On stables ripping off ideas from FX shows, and others just taking the names of them…     Given all the things we know to be true about wrestling’s weird code of ethics, it’s not that hard to believe that Abrose, Reigns and Rollins were being punished for whatever perceived backstage slights to their elders, or for injuring a brittle 50-year old man in a match he probably shouldn’t even have wrestled. No one ever said this was a business filled by intellectual superpowers.     That said, their actual in-ring work of late has reeked of three dudes who got too much, too soon and started to believe their own hype. We see it all the time in real sports and other forms of entertainment, and wrestling isn’t immune to the disease, either. For all the deserved blue-chipper status they received even before their debuts, for all the awesome, borderline terrorist camcorder promos in the bowels of arenas, for all the main event storylines they were immediately thrust into, the backbone of The Shield early on was the crazy, manic, ROH-meets-Attitude Era blue collar in-ring work. They’ve lost that edge in recent weeks, very much acting like three guys- not the characters, the actual performers- who think just showing up, looking cool and swaggering around is enough.     As much as I enjoy seeing them reinserted into main event storylines- even if beating dudes up three-on-one isn’t that impressive compared to their separate-and-destroy matches against three men earlier in their run- I enjoy seeing them regain their focus even more. I don’t particularly care for them as HHH’s personal security detail, but it could extend the gimmick’s life span by a few months. Ambrose is ready now to break out on his own, but I’m not sure I feel the same about Reigns or Rollins.     Meanwhile, after a disappointing Summerslam match, I was fine with Bray Wyatt getting a convincing squash over a “name” guy. In what’s becoming a running theme, I hope they know what step two is. Step one: awesome gimmick/intro upon their debut. Step three: Bray Wyatt is a huge, huge star. How are we getting there? It’s easy to see them start to spin their wheels. And for the love of Christ, does anyone give a shit where Kane is? THEY FUCKING STOLE THE DUDE. Anyone looking into this?     (The first part of this headline refers to the Wyatt family clearly being modeled after the Crowders on “Justified.”) Hey, look who has stuff to do!     Namely, lots of people. Is Vince Russo back on the payroll? Because we have a lot of midcarders doing really stupid stuff. But that’s better than doing nothing. Ryback beating up nerds? OK, at least he’s doing something. Fandango dancing his way through others’ backstage skits? I don’t know why, but I’m getting a kick out of it. That’s probably what the character should have done to begin with. He also had, hands down, the line of the night: “Those right there are beautiful sneakers…but can I dance in them?” Comic gold. More of that from Fandango. I don’t know if you can do a parody of something that’s been around so little time so far, but I like it. Well, we’ll see how it plays in SEC country….     But damn, how about the face reaction for Darren Young? I think they went about what to do with him, at least in week one, about as well as could be hoped for. Sure, the PTPers suddenly being faces makes no fucking sense, but no matter. Colter’s promo vaguely alluding to the headlines of Young coming out but then launching right back into an anti-immigrant diatribe also made no sense. Presenting the PTPers exactly as they were before, but in a situation in which we’d want to cheer for them without beating us over the head with the actual headline? A nice way to capitalize on some positive mainstream attention without being pandering or cloying. I guess most drug counselors ARE former users….     What, Ricardo is back from a drug suspension, and the idea is to have him hang out with someone who (and I can’t prove this…but come on, it’s probably true) wears ring gear made out of hemp? No matter, RVD and Ricardo is a fun, nonsensical pairing and it works for me as the next challenger for Del Rio. Fuck it, put the belt on Rob. His ring work has been pretty good since returning to WWE and he’s over as ever. It’s not like that belt matters anyway.