ROH TV 10th-11th Edition

Back again to recap episode 99 Ring Of Honor Wrestling.  Featured this week is match between a manager and his former client, a Women of Honor match (Dear god WHY!?), and a meaningless 6-man tag.  Spoiler alert: The card is as interesting as it sounds.

Show opens with a recap from the TV taping in Baltimore of Cheeseburger being assaulted by Mike Bennett.  Brutal Bob stopped the beat down and was laid out by Bennett, and as a result the following was booked…

“The Artist Formerly Known as Prodigy” Michael Bennett VS “Brutal” Bob Evans
The announcement of Providence as Bob’s hometown gets a decent pop.  I know being Massachusetts’ bastard little cousin is tough, but that doesn’t mean you have to be exited about EVERY old loser who’s actually willing to be associated with Rhode Island.  Ref calls for the Code of Honor,  Bennett’s response is to show Brutal Bob that he does in fact still have the shittiest super kick in the business. Evans rolls to the floor so Bennett chases him out with a diving clothesline from the apron.  Bennett throws Evans into the barricade a couple times before drilling him with a Yakuza kick.  Bennett exposes the concrete floor and teases a piledriver on it (this was taped before he nearly crippled Whitmer with a piledriver in Toronto), but Evans backdrops out of it.  Bob gives his ex-student a “Brutal” beat down that concludes with a back breaker on the apron.  Evans then delivers a pretty awesome series of clotheslines with Bennett bouncing back and forth between the apron and his forearm.  Bennett rolls into the ring and picks himself up in the corner.  BB Evans charges into him and yells “let’s have some fun!” and just flailing all over Bennett.  Mike is sent to the apron, but he turns it around with a knee to Bob’s face.  Some one’s timing was way off on that knee cause it looked awkward.  Evans is hanging over the second rope.  Bennett jumps up from the floor and hits what can only be defined as a dropkick in the loosest sense of the word.  Maria chimes in on commentary to talk about how awesome that “dropkick” was.  It bodes well for Mikey that Maria is easily impressed.  Back in the ring Bennett his stomping away. Bennett hits his second shitty super kick of the match and signals for a THIRD!  Bob Evans wins my respect forever by preventing the atrocity, catching the kick and turning it into a single leg powerbomb.  Bob can’t capitalize right away and no cover is made.  Both guys up and a big shoulder tackle from Bob gets 2.  Evans looks to finish with a diving leg drop, but Bennett rolls out of the way.  He hits the Box Office Smash, then picks Evans up for a TKO that gets the 3-count. *1/2 I take back the nasty things I said about “Brutal” Bob, he had a great mean old man thing going here–unfortunately Bennett looked awful.  He was completely out of time and for the love of God could the Young Bucks please teach him how to preform a super kick

Post match Maria brings her man his ROH contract and he finally just signs it. Cheeseburger comes out of nowhere to missile dropkick Bennett…but he misses.  Piledriver from Bennett puts the diminutive ring attendant down.  McGuiness has some words with Bennett on his way out.

“Bone Saw” Brooke VS “Your Soul’s Tormentor” MsChif
MsChif starts with some shots to the midsection.  They Suck

MsChif throws Brooke into the Turnbuckle.  Brooke’s selling sucks

MsChif puts Brooke into a clover leaf whilst she’s tied up in the corner.  Since Brooke didn’t have to do anything it was sorta cool.

Brooke gets 2 with a Northern lights suplex.  It sucked

Brooke gets 2 with a Back Suplex.  It sucked.

Brooke hits some forearms in the corner.  THEY REALLY SUCKED.

MsChif turned it around and hit Obliteration to thankfully end this abortion of a match.

Congratulations ladies you just earned my very first DUD, and if this had gone any longer this would have been a negative stars affair.

Honor Personified: “The Sicilian Psychopath” Tommaso Ciampa, “Unbreakable” Michael Elgin, and “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen VS Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, and “Buzzsaw” BJ Whitmer.
It was one year ago in this same building that Tommaso Ciampa blew out his knee and missed 9-months, so this one has some special significance for him.  All 6 guys adhere to the Code of Honor, albeit with some theatrics.  Richards goes for a hug with Steen and Then has to jump away from Mr. Wrestling’s right hand.  When Richards shakes Elgin’s hand, he won’t let go and Davey can’t break free of the strongman’s grasp.  Elgin finally lets him go and it’s Whitmer and Ciampa in to start.  They trade arm drags with neither guy gaining a definitive advantage.  Edwards and Steen are tagged into the match for their respective teams.  Kevin Kelly’s fun fact of the night: Eddie Edwards is a huge Boston Celtics fan and wears Celtics socks in every match. Nigel: Yeah, and they have David Letterman on the front. Kevin: That’s Larry Bird Nigel (He shouldn’t feel bad, I wouldn’t know the difference either).  Steen and Edwards lock up and fight into the corner.  Edwards gives Steen a knife-edge chop.  Steen makes a pained expression, slowly walks to his corner, tags in Elgin, and then falls to the floor.  It got a chuckle out of me and it seemed like these guys were just looking to have a fun little exhibition.  Edwards tries shoulder tackling Elgin and is about as successful as you’d expect him to be.  Elgin no sells some chops and then runs the ropes.  Edwards chops him on the way by and he just runs right through it on route to a big shoulder tackle that puts Eddie down.  Richards is tagged in and we have a rematch from Meltzer’s 5-star match at Showdown in the Sun.  Before that comes a commercial break however.

Back with Richards trapped in a vertical suplex.  The crowd is at a count of 20 so he’s been there awhile.  Elgin keeps him up there till the minute mark, TAKES ONE OF HIS HANDS OFF to hype up the crowd, then brings Richards down.  BJ is in to stop any kind of pin attempt, so Ciampa comes in and puts HIM in a delayed vertical suplex.  somewhere around 30-seconds later BJ goes down and in comes Steen to suplex Eddie Edwards and the crowd is getting really raucous.  Edwards spoils the party and counters Steen with a snap suplex however.  All 4 illegal men have no found their way to the floor so Elgin and Richards can continue their battle in the ring.  Edwards is tagged in and he’s hot, knocking Elgin around and hitting a Snap suplex for 2. Elgin ducks a clothesline and hits Edwards with a jumping enzugiri.  Edwards looks for a break on the apron but Elgin will have non of that and tries to dead lift superplex him back in.  Richards breaks it up and climbs up to give Elgin a sunset bomb into a shining wizard from Edwards that gets 2.  The Wolves try to keep double teaming Elgin, but he just fights them both off.  A simultaneous Samoan drop and fall away slam puts the wolves down long enough for Elgin to tag Steen.  Whitmer is also tagged in, but finds little success running into a pop-up powerbomb from Steen.  Edwards tries to interfere, so Steen gives him a code breaker that was ALSO a senton on BJ Whitmer.  Steen goes up, but his swanton gets nothing but knees.  Davey Richards is tagged in and Edwards helps him with an over top gourd buster/missile drop kick combo that gets 2.

Comercial

We’re back with Ciampa pulverizing Richards.  Davey squirms free and it’s kicks in the corner so he can leach Bryan’s heat (YES YES YES screams the crowd).  Ciampa is whipped to the opposite corner for Richard’s running boot.  Tag to Eddie and he channels Kobashi with the rapid chops in the corner.  There is something hilarious about the Wolves using the spots of more famous (and talented) wrestlers to get heat.  Chin Checker is countered, but Edwards forces Ciampa into the Achilles lock.  Elgin comes into kick Edwards off but he won’t let go.  Richards stops him by putting him an the ankle lock, and Steen is stopped from interfering by a choke from BJ.  All three submissions are reversed in favor of the other team, Elgin and Ciampa but the wolves in crossfaces while Steen locks BJ into a sharpshooter.  All of the holds are broken when Edwards rolls Ciampa into a two-count.  Everyone but Ciampa and Edwards fight to the outside while they trade stiff shots in the ring.  Edwards lands a super kick, but Ciampa gives him the All-Japan delayed sell and wipes him out with a lariat.  Whitmer is tagged in and he gets some chops and a powerslam.  The Wolves take out Canadian Violence Inc. on the apron while Whitmer hits a fisherman neck breaker–doesn’t release–and then a bridging fisherman suplex for 2.  The Wolves give Ciampa an alarm clock, then Eddie super kicks Ciampa into a back suplex for 2.  Right after the kick out Richards double stomps Ciampa and Elgin has to break up the pin at 2.  Richards is tagged and he goes to work kicking the kneeling Ciampa in the chest.  Ciampa fights to his feet and knees Richards in the face.  Davey tries a one man alarm clock, but that’s also turned into a knee in the face by Ciampa.  Kryptonite Krunch on Richards gets 2 and Elgin comes in illegally.  Bucklebomb by Elgin sets up the bare knee in the corner from Ciampa and a cannonball from Steen.  Edwards breaks up the pin and it’s a pier-six brawl.  Steen takes out Edwards with an innovative facebuster.  Whitmer kicks Steen out of the ring, then suplexes Ciampa over the top rope, sending both men to the floor.  Elgin made the blind tag as Ciampa went over.  Elgin tries for a Bucklebomb but Richards escapes.  Edwards tries to involve himself but gets powerbombed over the top rope into the guys on the floor.  Richards and Elgin do the Boo/Yay spot with the crowd clearly behind Elgin, with “Unbreakable” gaining the advantage.  The Canadian runs the ropes but is caught with a roundhouse and German suplex from Richards on his approach.  Davey tries to lock on the cross-arm breaker but Elgin won’t allow it.  Elgin transitions from in an armbar to having Richards in tombstone position in an impressive display of power, but Richards falls back to have Elgin in position instead.  Edwards rises from the dead to kick Elgin in the head and then Davey drops him with a tombstone…for 2

Side Rant for Davey Richards: Stop using that Tombstone/kick spot if the guy is just going to kick out at 2!  for Fuck’s sake you’re using a Tombstone piledriver as a TRANSITION move!  It’s not even a finisher–it’s ended exactly one match since you and Eddie got back together! For all your talk of being the “best in the world” you have no grasp on how psychology actually fucking works and is only capable of having classic matches when someone more talented then you forces you to.
Sincerely: someone who doesn’t care for your self righteous bullshit, when you can’t back it up.

Anyways, Steen hits Edwards with the apron bomb to take him out of the equation while Elgin fights out of an ankle lock with an enzugiri.  Elgin hits the spinning back fist and starts his winning combination with a bucklebomb–but Richards is all like “I still have shit to get in” and roundhouse kicks Elgin.  Elgin lands another Back fist and again loads up the Elgin Bomb but gosh darn it Davey still has shit to get in!  As a result Richards slips out and they trade pinfall attempts–ignoring the head drops and bombs from less then a minute ago–with Elgin finally just clotheslining Richards head off and hitting the Elgin Bomb for the 3-count. **1/4  This was trucking along fine until the tombstone kick out, then Davey dragged it down to his level. They called this match Honor personified–and there was every criticism of indy style wrestling condensed into one finish, mission a-fucking-complished Davey.  We are all SO impressed with what an athlete you are.

Pass on this show, what would have been a forgettable main event anyway has a blargh finish, and I’m offended by that women’s match being allowed to broadcast on TV.  Brutal Bob was the MVP of this show–and that right there makes it a clear thumbs down.

Next week is ROH’s 100th episode.  For the special occasion we’ll get “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal and “No Charismo” Roderick Strong offering their commentary on some of the show’s biggest matches and highlights.  See you next week

It’s a good thing I never claimed to be impartial..