What the World Was Watching: WrestleMania XIII

–As a random note,
this is Todd Pettengill’s last time doing the WrestleMania preview show. This
is also the last year that the original WrestleMania logo was used.

-Vince McMahon, Jim
Ross, and Jerry “the King” Lawler are in the booth and they are live from
Chicago, Illinois.

–Free for
All:  Billy Gunn pins Flash Funk (w/the
Funkettes) after a tornado DDT at 7:06:

So we celebrate the one year anniversary of the Free for All with this match.  Keep in mind that while you had some entertaining
superstars at the top of the card in 1997, you also had stuff like this
lingering in the midcard.  As you might
expect, Funk works a quick pace at the beginning, but Billy really slows things
down in the middle.  Funk pulls out a
victory roll off the top rope, which looks nasty and I’m surprised Billy agreed
to take it considering his neck issues.  The tornado DDT should’ve been Billy’s
finisher, since the name already tied into his gimmick as a Texas cowboy and
you would think it would be more reliable than a flying leg drop.  For those that aren’t fans of Billy Gunn,
keep in mind that this was the first attempt at giving him a decent singles
push.  There would be two more attempts
after this one failed.  Overall, this was
a good opener that had a hot finishing sequence after the dry middle
portion.  Rating:  **½

–If you have some
spare time, you should YouTube the opening video package for this show.  It’s a perfect representation of the early
Attitude Era.

–Opening Four Team
Elimination, Number One Contender Contest: 
The Headbangers defeat The Godwinns (w/Hillbilly Jim), Doug Furnas &
Philip LaFon & The New Blackjacks at 10:40:

For the third consecutive year, WrestleMania begins with
a tag team encounter.  The winner of this
gets a tag team title shot the next night on Raw.  The Headbangers are both tagged in to fight
each other, but they lightly slap each other and do a small dance instead.  You would think with the promo that they just
cut that the Blackjacks would fare better in this match.  The same can be said of Furnas and LaFon, who
had just feuded with the tag team champions. 
Instead, we get the Godwinns, who were more than stale at this point and
the younger Headbangers, who had done little to distinguish themselves in the tag
team division, as the final two teams.  Despite this somewhat
lackluster matchup, both teams put together a good match, with the Headbangers
using a diverse and unique series of double teams to maintain the advantage
until Thrasher misses a moonsault. 
Phineas tries to finish Thrasher with a Slop Drop, but Mosh breaks it up
and the Headbangers emerge victorious after all hell breaks loose.  For their part, the Chicago crowd approves.  I enjoy elimination matches, but if they were
going to get rid of the New Blackjacks and Furnas & LaFon so quickly, they
might as well have just booked the Godwinns and the Headbangers in a number one
contenders match and called it a day. 
That silly booking aside, the Godwinns-Headbangers encounter saved this
from being a disaster.  Rating: 
**½

–The Honky Tonk Man
comes out to do guest commentary. 
Captain Lou Albano and Tony Atlas are shown in the audience.

–Intercontinental
Championship Match:  “The Rock” Rocky
Maivia (Champion) pins The Sultan (w/The Iron Sheik & Bob Backlund) with a
schoolboy at 9:44:

McMahon must’ve been on a history kick before this show,
since he showed clips of the original Blackjacks before the opening match and
goes through some early 1980s WWF history when talking about Maivia’s
roots.  It’s puzzling that when Marc Mero
went down that the WWF’s backup plan was to use the Sultan, but in retrospect they really didn’t have anyone else to turn to in the singles ranks since most
of the midcard talent and above was already involved in other feuds.  Honky screams a lot during this
match about Maivia’s mistakes and then goes on a small rant about Maivia’s
relationship with Cindy Margolis.  Maivia
must’ve watched some Tatanka footage prior to this show, since he uses parts of
Tatanka’s war dance when making his comeback and no selling the Sultan’s
blows.  The Sheik prevents Maivia from
winning with a flying body press by distracting the referee, but Maivia
survives a piledriver and catches the Sultan off guard to retain the
title.  They couldn’t have given Maivia a
stronger victory than that at WrestleMania? 
A questionable way to treat a guy you see as the future of the
company.  After the match, the heel crew
lays out Maivia, the Sheik humbles him with a camel clutch, and they do the
same to Rocky Johnson who tries to make the save.  However, father and son rally and stand tall
at the end.  Some people call this the
worst Intercontinental title match in WrestleMania history, but that’s really
unfair.  It’s not a terrible and
is less ridiculous than the WrestleMania II affair between Randy Savage and
George Steele.  Rating:  **

–Pettengill
interviews Ken Shamrock, who says that he was just trying to teach Billy Gunn a
lesson on Raw.  He says he won’t be
intimidated by Bret Hart or Steve Austin in tonight’s submission match.

–Hunter Hearst
Helmsley (w/Chyna) beats Goldust (w/Marlena) with a Pedigree at 13:10:

While the matches were never great, this was an important
feud for Hemsley since it began the process of establishing him as a credible
midcard talent.  Sometimes people don’t
appreciate what this feud did for Helmsley, especially when it comes to introducing
Chyna, because of the more memorable feud Helmsley had with Mankind after
this.  The match really goes downhill
after the three minute mark, as Helmsley’s offense does little to capture the
imagination or sustain interest.  Goldust
goes to nail Helmsley with the Curtain Call, but is distracted by Chyna
threatening Marlena.  Goldust pulls
Marlena onto the apron, but that enables Helmsley to knee him in the back and
give us a great visual for the finish whereby Chyna catches Marlena and shakes
her like a ragdoll and Helmsley Pedigrees Goldust for his first WrestleMania
victory.  You would think these two could
put together at least one good match, but they failed to do it again here.  If not for the finishing sequence, this
would’ve been rated much lower.  Rating: 
*½

–Jim Ross
interviews WWF Tag Team Champions The British Bulldog & Owen Hart on their
way to the ring and asks them who the captain of their team is.  Owen insists that it is him and Ross needs to
quit stirring up trouble.

–WWF Tag Team Championship
Match:  The British Bulldog & Owen
Hart (Champions) wrestle Vader & Mankind (w/Paul Bearer) to a double count
out at 15:51:

This is really a match of dysfunctional partners, since
Owen and the Bulldog had their problems coming into this one and Vader and
Mankind didn’t function effectively as a team when they wrestled together prior
to this show.  The challengers dominate
much of the match, with Owen being on the receiving end of a powerbomb at the
hands of Vader and the Bulldog getting nailed in the head with the urn behind
the referee’s back.  Owen has a nice
little comeback sequence against Vader, giving us a glimpse of what the 1997
version of babyface Owen Hart would look like, but he soon runs into Vader,
which is like running into a brick wall. 
Stu and Helen Hart are sitting at ringside and Mankind mauls Owen in
front of them.  Helen looks concerned,
but Stu just stoically sits there, which is a nice reflection of his
personality.  It’s like he’s telling Owen
to take his punishment like a man. 
Mankind puts the Bulldog in the Mandible Claw to avoid a running
powerslam and Lawler promises that Owen will think of a solution.  Owen proceeds to get nailed by Vader, though,
but he bumps into Mankind and the Bulldog, who fall to the floor, where Mankind
reapplies the Mandible Claw and gets them counted out.  This match was more of a wild brawl, since
there were very few near-falls, and the finish was very disappointing, since
all signs were pointing to Vader and Mankind winning the titles here.  In fact, that was booked to happen until Bret
Hart convinced the booking team to change its mind for the upcoming Hart
Foundation angle.  I like the Bulldog and
Owen so that’s not so bad, but it likely robbed us of a fun Legion of
Doom-Vader & Mankind feud.  Rating: 
**

–A video package is
aired for the Bret Hart-Steve Austin submission match.

–Submission Match
with Ken Shamrock as Guest Referee:  Bret
“the Hitman” Hart defeats “Stone Cold” Steve Austin after Austin passes out to
the Sharpshooter at 21:54:

After months of going back and forth since their last
one-on-one encounter at the Survivor Series, Bret and Austin face each other
once again in a submission match, a forum that would seem to favor Bret since Austin’s character was not exactly renowned as a submission
specialist.  This is actually Bret’s
second submission match in the last three WrestleMania’s since he faced Bob
Backlund in an “I Quit” match at WrestleMania XI.  The crowd is completely into this one, as
both men quickly take their battle into the crowd.  While there, some idiot has some obsession
with rubbing every combatant, including Shamrock on the head.  I’m surprised Shamrock just didn’t knock him out.  He fails to rub
Austin’s head, so I suppose he didn’t win the lottery the next week.  This match is simply timeless as you can
watch it fifteen years later and it still generates the same emotions the first
time you watched it.  This is also a
contest where the smaller arena setting works best because it creates a more
intimate and grittier feel, something today’s stadium crowds can’t
replicate.  Everyone also plays their
role well here, with Bret acting as someone who wants to extract maximum
punishment to get his revenge, Austin flips off Shamrock when he’s asked if he
wants to give up, and Shamrock does a great job staying out of the way and only
getting close when it’s called for.  I
know I’ve railed against the ring post figure-four spot before, but it’s
appropriate for this match since it’s no disqualification and the crowd pops
big for it.  Austin opens up a huge cut
after brawling on the floor and he gushes all over the ring.  Bret eventually overwhelms Austin by blasting
him with the timekeepers bell to avoid getting choked out with some microphone
cables and then applying a Sharpshooter, but Austin honors his word by
refusing to submit and when his attempt to power out of the Sharpshooter fails,
he passes out.  After the match, Bret
continues the attack and Shamrock has to give him a waistlock suplex to keep
him from applying another Sharpshooter. 
The crowd wants to see Bret-Shamrock, but Bret walks away to a chorus of
boos.  Austin, meanwhile, refuses
assistance, gives a referee a Stunner, and walks out to chants of his name,
thereby completing the planned double turn and sending the rest of 1997 down a
different course than what was anticipated in January.  When ranking the most important WWF matches
of all time, this one has to be considered as either number one or number two,
depending on where you place Andre-Hogan from WrestleMania III.  It officially made THE star of the late 1990s
and laid the foundation for the WWF to overtake WCW within the next thirteen
months.  I think the rating of this match
speaks for itself.  Rating:  *****

–The announcers put
over Steve Austin’s effort in the last match.

–Chicago Street
Fight:  Ahmed Johnson & The Legion of
Doom defeat Faarooq, Crush & Savio Vega (w/the Nation of Domination) when Animal
pins Crush after Crush is clotheslined by a 2×4 at 10:45:

Ahmed is an honorary member of the Legion of Doom for the
evening and comes out with his own spiked shoulder pads.  Someone on the booking team had a funny bone,
as the faces bring a kitchen sink with them to the ring.  The Nation tries to use D-Lo Brown, PG-13,
and Clarence Mason to weaken their opponents, but they are easily
decimated.  Animal goes to piledrive
Faarooq through a table in what would’ve been a cool spot, but he loses his
balance and they fall off.  The crowd is
disappointed, but credit to Animal for just bailing out there.  I cringe each time Ahmed hits someone with
something since you know he’s going all out and those blows have to hurt.  Somehow a hangman’s noose gets introduced and
placed around Ahmed’s neck, as D-Lo and Clarence try to hang him.  I can assure you that you will never see that
done in today’s WWE for obvious reasons.  After
some mindless brawling that kills much of the crowd, Crush is put away with a
Doomsday Device and a triple team with a 2×4. 
After the match, PG-13 are killed with a cool double Doomsday
Device.  One might think this would end
the Nation-Ahmed feud, but it kept going after this show.  This was a fun brawl, but everyone got gassed
at the end and ran out of things to do so that really hurts it.  Faarooq would probably disagree with me,
though, since he suffered a punctured lung and a separated shoulder from this
match.  Rating:  **¾

–Shawn Michaels
comes out to do commentary for the WWF title match, giving the Kliq’s symbol
and using it to high five some fans that are doing it.

–WWF Champion Sid
says he’s not scared of the darkness or the Undertaker because he’s the master
and ruler of the world.

–No
Disqualification Match for the WWF Championship:  The Undertaker pins Sid (Champion) with a
Tombstone to win the title at 21:23

This match wasn’t hyped as a no disqualification match,
but McMahon informs us that the participants agreed earlier in the day to make
that stipulation for this match.  The
Undertaker is wearing the attire he wore the last time he won the title, with
his old school black outfit and grey gloves. 
This is the last time that he would ever wear that attire as well.  Ross puts over the Undertaker’s undefeated
streak on commentary, although the WWF wouldn’t use that to sell WrestleMania
until the next decade.  Bret Hart comes
out to stop the beginning of the match and he runs down Michaels quasi-injury
and lost smile, says that he’s no longer a friend of the Undertaker after the
last Raw, and tells Sid that the WWF title belongs to him.  Sid doesn’t take kindly to that and gives
Bret a powerbomb, which is a great spot, but that still doesn’t make him the
face in this title match.  Like
WrestleMania XVIII, the crowd is completely out of it, having wasted its energy
on Austin-Bret and some of the Chicago street fight.  There’s also very little investment by the
crowd because they can sense that the Undertaker will win, so they are just
waiting for that to happen.  Both guys
don’t really help matters by slowly working through their offense and using a
bevy of rest holds.  You just will not
hear a crowd as quiet for a WrestleMania main event as they are for this
one.  After what feels like ten
lifetimes, Bret comes back out and smacks Sid in the back with a chair and then
later stun guns him into the Undertaker’s Tombstone to cost him the title.  So after five years of fighting fat men and a
deranged opponent with one ear, the Undertaker has finally regained the WWF
title.  For Sid, softball season soon
beckoned and this was his last WrestleMania appearance, which might’ve been for
the better as it saved the fans coma-inducing gems like this one.  Without question the worst WrestleMania main
event of all time.  Rating:  ½*