Michael's Impact Review

Impact Wrestling on Spike TV

February 9, 2012

Wembley Arena – London, England

– After a two week sabbatical (more like burglar victim), I am back and ready to piss more people off…or gain new readers…who knows?

– We are taped and your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz. – A Star Wars themed intro recaps everyone (me included) as to what happened last week.

– Bully Ray makes his way to the ring and shuts everything down and demands silence. He wants his buddy and pal, Bobby Roode to come down to the ring. He demands his music shut off and meets him in the aisle. He is pissed that Roode doesn’t have his back and has been saving his ass for two months. Sting comes out rocking the Rickety Cricket bat and makes a tag match for the main event: Sting and James Storm against Ray and Roode.

– Garret Bischoff and Hulk Hogan are here.

– Before we get to the action, we see some history between AJ and Kazarian over the last month.

1. Daniels (with Kazarian) vs. AJ Styles

– Daniels attacks AJ before the bell. AJ ducks a clothesline and nails a perfect dropkick. AJ FLIES on top of Daniels on the floor. Back inside, AJ sunset flips and goes for the Styles Clash. Daniels boots him in the face. He grabs a foreign object and throws it to Kaz. Ref is distracted and he drops AJ. Daniels clamps on a nerve hold and then a knee drop gets 2. AJ is free and springboards from the middle turnbuckle into an inverted DDT! Springboard Superman Forearm connects. AJ attempts the Styles Clash and Daniels counters with a standing Uranage. BME misses and PELE connects! Daniels is yelling for the foreign object and Kaz hands it to him. AJ ducks a swing and goes for a powerbomb. Daniels clocks AJ on the way up and kicks the ref in the face. Daniels covers and gets the win @ 6:43. (A hot opener and this crowd is going gorilla dick early! B.)

– Backstage, Eric Bischoff tells Gunner he wants him standing by him when he confront Hogan and Garret.

– Samoa Joe and Magnus come out for a full mark out session. Magnus plays baby and the crowd comes un-glued! He tells everyone that people in the back didn’t believe in the team of Magnus and Joe. They promise to be the next tag team champions. Out comes Matt Morgan and Crimson to a chorus of boos. Joe and Magnus hit the road.

2. Austin Aries vs. Douglas Williams vs. Alex Shelley

– Shelley and Williams in the ring and dump Aries. Shelley tries Sliced Bread and Williams shoves him to the corner and dumps Shelley. Aries trips him and Shelley hits a single leg kick from the top. Aries hits a kneebraker into a back suplex. He misses a Pendulum Elbow and William returns with kicks everywhere. Rolling Chaos Theory gets 2.5 before Aries kicks him in the nuts. He goes for the Brain Buster on Shelley but it is countered into Sliced Bread for the win @ 4:38. (Spots spots and more spots. Williams looked good and Shelly looked great. Aries was Aries as always. B-.)

– Hogan and Garret run into Sting. Hogan marks out to Sting saying he is running the company well. This is like a “name that caption” remark there. Hogan thanks Sting for the hard work. Now he kicks the cameras out.

– British people talk about how great TNA is.

– Before the break, some Knockout was thrown half-assed through a door. Back from the break, we see it was Gail Kim tossing Tara through.

– Elsewhere, Hogan is shirtless and rambling about…well, I don’t even fucking know. His eyes are red as a baboon’s ass, so at least we know why he is rambling.

– Now we are back in the arena and a clothed Hogan and Garret Bischoff come out. He soaks in all the cheers and endorses Garret. Crowd shits on him. Here comes Easy E and Gunner for more heat. Eric asks why is Hogan in his business and Hogan tells him that Garret is the future. Eric tells Hogan HIS time is over. Hogan says he has “the Hulkamania Stroke” and a brawl erupts. Eric low blows Hogan and Gunner beats on Garret. Hogan retaliates and tosses Gunner. They grab Eric and Garret pops his Pops in the face with a shit punch.

– We waste another 10 minutes with Star Wars: Episode 1 in 3D trailers. Maybe I will go out and buy it. Never seen any Star Wars movie.

– Backstage, Ray is still all worked up at Roode. Roode calms him down. Elsewhere, Hogan is still rambling in the back to Garret. Garret face Gunner at Against All Odds. Hogan in one corner, Eric in the other.

4. Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

– Velvet works the arm and gets a couple near-falls. Mickie works the arm now and the fans boo her. Mickie charges into a boot and Velvet snaps off a spinning head scissors throw. Mickie is up and dropkicks her down. Velvet mounts a comeback and hits a jaw breaker. She clotheslines Mickie down and Mickie back kicks her. Velvet grabs an arm and falls with an inverted DDT. Cover gets 2. Vickie tries a DDT and Mickie backdrops her. Mickie leans down and gets rolled up as Velvet wins it @ 5:38. (Kind of drug along with no real interest in this one. D+.)

– More British people…more Twitter references. More TNA in London videos….more Roode is the evil champion videos.

MAIN EVENT

5. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode vs. James Storm & Sting

– Bully Ray yells in JB’s face as he does the ring announcing. Love it. Sting and Roode kick it off. Roode wants a tag to Ray and Ray walks off. He does assure Roode he has his back. Sting quickly gets a Scorpion on Roode and Ray runs in. Storm runs in and its a double clothesline that sends Ray to the floor. We’ll be right back. Back on Impact and Sting tags in Storm to take on Ray. He works Ray’s arm over. Sting comes in and works over Ray. Now he bites Ray and tags Storm back in. Ray drops Storm and Roode comes in for a chinlock. Ray comes back in with a bearhug. Ray goes to nail Storm with his chain and Storm drops Ray. HOT TAGS AROUND! Sting levels everyone with palm thrusts. Stereo Stinger Splashes. He misses Roode and Sting slams him off the top. Ray elbow drops his own partner. Storm with and enziguiri on Roode and he headbutts Ray in the balls. Sting with a Scorpion Deathlock on Roode and Ray comes in with the TNA belt. He stops and leaves Roode in the ring. Roode taps out @ 15:29. (A great tag match and the fans were on fire for that main event. Sting hit all his spots and Storm did the rest of the lifting. C+)

FINAL THOUGHTS…

– Kind of weird having a go-home show….taped….in Europe. Came off really great, and has me saying the same thing everyone else says: TNA is great outside the Impact Zone. I’m a huge Hogan mark, but damn if he really drained this show tonight. I think Against All Odds is looking to be great card and really wish that Bully Ray could get the belt. Just doesn’t make sense right now. See you guys, next week.